Am I or is my friend?

[whatinthenameofhen]

We are on day 2 of holiday, staying in a lodge. Me and my 2 kids, best mate and her 2 kids. So far she has allowed her youngest (2.5 years) to be naked the entire time we are in the lodge. He sits on coffee table, climbs all over furniture, eats dinner naked. I'm not bothered particularly apart from the coffee table. It's just a bit unhygienic and a bit rude of her not to think of others. She keeps popping into the enduite in my room to empty the toddlers potty (when he naps she doesn't want to use her own en suite so ad not to disturb the little one). Not an issue with that but she then rinses potty in my sink, dries it on my hand towel and doesn't even wash her hands. She didn't even say 'do you mind if I do this?' Just walked past saying 'I'm just going to empty this out that OK?' (While mid way through doing it).
Earlier I went down to the kitchen and she was bathing the toddler in the kitchen sink and the toddler was using my little boys milk Beaker as a bath toy of sorts. She said she was 'Killing two birds with one stone, doing the washing up and bathing toddler at same time'.

I'm just a bit like wtf??

Am I just uptight?
Or would other people not really like this?
Thanks

No this wouldn’t be ok with me. How long is the holiday?!!

Ewe

The naked toddler fine. The beaker and the potty in sink. No

Just no!!

Grim as

She's your best mate so you're going to have to sit her down and tell her what you've said here. This is just unacceptable. Washing the kid in the sink whilst also using the same water to wash out your child's beaker is horrible. Talk to her.

She shouldn't be wiping out the empty potty with your towel, that's disgusting. The rest of it, not really a problem. Why does the nakedness bother you so much? He's two years old!

Gross.

I hope she’s better at wiping her toddlers arse than she is at her own personal hygiene, given that he’s naked all over the furniture.

I’d have lost the plot the first time she wiped the potty out with my hand towel, the scummy mare.

Personally keeping your dc's genitals private matters....

Wiping the potty out with your hand towel is grim. How disgusting. You need to speak to her.

She's gross. Using your hand towel? Tell her to pack it in ffs. I wouldn't be eating any meals at her house.

^ I don’t want to see anyone’s arse and I don’t want to put my hand down where their naked bits have been. I don’t care if it’s a two year told arse or a ninety two years olds arse. Cover that ass.

Ugh no get her told!!

I wouldn't mind the naked toddler but wiping the potty with your hand towel, nope. But that's me. Whatever you are uncomfortable/ or not happy about you need to tell her and set some ground rules.

Yuck, she is a total minger. I wouldn't be happy with any of that, and would tell her so. But why didn't you say anything about the potty and the hand towel? That's utterly vile.

No. Just no.

The naked wouldn't bother me, it's sodding hot at he minute. But the coffee table is a bit yuk.

Rinsed out potty on the hand towel is minging and toddler arse water in your DCs drink cup would have got a 'what on earth do you think you're doing?!' before my brain caught up with my mouth I'm afraid. I don't let my DC drink their own bath water because their bum is in it, other peoples bums are exponentially worse as far as I'm concerned!

At least you can wash the cup now you know, I suspect she wouldn't have washed it post 'bath' if her other hygiene is anything to go by.

I hope this is a short holiday if you want to keep your "friendship"

The potty and hand towel thing is completely disgusting. I wouldn’t even go into someone else’s room to use their en-suite in a normal way.
I wouldn’t want naked toddler arse on a coffee table I was using. it’s not the nakedness that’s the problem, it’s the potential for poo smears and wee droplets. Yuck.

Grim as can be! Vile.

Oh god, I would hate this!
Drying the potty with your hand towel!!!!! I'd be fuming. My god that is gross.

I've just read this to my DP who replied saying "I wouldn't be bothered by it!" Which shocked me even more.

I really wouldn't like this at all. I think you do need to say something. I find it bizarre that she thinks it's ok to dry a potty using your hand towel. I can't quite get over that.

Half of this is fine. Half isn’t.
So I personally would pick my battles.

Can I use your en-suite? - Sure, but can you tip it down the toilet and not dry it with my towel.

Can I bath DS in the sink? - Sure, but can you not use my DS’s cup as a toy.

As you are close friends you should be able to say these things without her getting offended but I think if you were to list everything like you have here which is practically everything she’s doing, then she will get offended.
So pick your worst couple of things and start there.

None of it's fine. Let her clean the potty in her own en suite while the child is settling for his nap. I wouldn't want his urine or feces swirling around a lavatory basin I'd be using -- or a toilet for that matter.

No excuse for bathing in the kitchen sink. No excuse for crawling around naked.

She's just minging. Ugh.

How much longer are you stuck there, OP? Can you leave early?

Hi thanks for the replies, really made me laugh!
Glad to know I'm not being OTT thinking this way. I mentioned it to my mum when we were chatting on the phone and she said "it all sounds very harmless" but then she would say that even if an axe murderer was chasing after me!
The beaker/kitchen sink thing, I just said "can you pass me the beaker so I can pop it in the dishwasher for a proper wash". She was just like "oh right ok, we do this all the time at home don't we darling? He is always in the sink helping with the washing up."
It's not so much the naked thing. It's more the fact he is always naked and sits on all the places where the other children put their snacks etc.
Then his potty sits on top of the console behind the sofa. My friend keeps it there when not in use but earlier she said "do you mind if I leave that wee in there as I don't want to rinse it out while he is napping." I said "could you please take it away and put it in your bathroom because one of the other kids is bound to knock it over and it will spill. Its a bit disgusting leaving it."
I also for the toddler to wash his hands earlier as he had done a wee, she came upstairs and said "no need it's not like he was touching anything."
Earlier we were all watching a movie, eating some Popcorn etc and then the little one sits and does a poo right in the middle of the room.
Don't want to make it a big thing for the sake of a few more days. Holiday is a bit shit all round as we've had an ant infestation and the cooker broke. So all in all I'm looking forward to home!! At least next time he will have grown out of this phase.
I'm sure I sound like a right cow but I can't help how I feel.

the update! 😱😱😱
You’re actually considering a next time?
He’s being brought up to have terrible personal hygiene. ugh.

Eww. Gross.

Just casually leave a bunch of pull ups/toddler pants in the living area (or in a trail to her own room where the potty should be?) She has no shame. Time to be as blunt as you can I feel.

Oh my god 😂 you’re not being unreasonable. The bare arse on the coffee table would bother me, the pooing in the middle of the room is the icing on the cake 😂
maybe don’t arrange more holidays until her child is potty trained and a bit older. Hopefully you’ll look back on this one day and laugh.

It's not 'harmless' though; cross-contamination could make any of you very sick, especially the little ones.