Am I or is my friend?

[whatinthenameofhen]

We are on day 2 of holiday, staying in a lodge. Me and my 2 kids, best mate and her 2 kids. So far she has allowed her youngest (2.5 years) to be naked the entire time we are in the lodge. He sits on coffee table, climbs all over furniture, eats dinner naked. I'm not bothered particularly apart from the coffee table. It's just a bit unhygienic and a bit rude of her not to think of others. She keeps popping into the enduite in my room to empty the toddlers potty (when he naps she doesn't want to use her own en suite so ad not to disturb the little one). Not an issue with that but she then rinses potty in my sink, dries it on my hand towel and doesn't even wash her hands. She didn't even say 'do you mind if I do this?' Just walked past saying 'I'm just going to empty this out that OK?' (While mid way through doing it).
Earlier I went down to the kitchen and she was bathing the toddler in the kitchen sink and the toddler was using my little boys milk Beaker as a bath toy of sorts. She said she was 'Killing two birds with one stone, doing the washing up and bathing toddler at same time'.

I'm just a bit like wtf??

Am I just uptight?
Or would other people not really like this?
Thanks

Jesus, your update makes it all even worse. You have way higher tolerance levels than me. I wouldn't want to spend any time at all with the minger friend in future, and definitely no holidays. Letting her toddler shit on the living room floor? Words fail me.

I would just go home early.

Well done for telling her to move the potty. Now just tell her she can’t wash the potty in your ensuite!

That is absolutely vile.

Grim. Get her told.

Oh my God you ANBU!! This is why I don't think I could do a holiday with a friend, you never quite know all their odd habits!
TBH the naked on the coffee table is bad enough & as for everything else, I'd be gagging.
Hopefully not long until you go home, I wouldn't be planning on going again!

YANBU

However I can totally see one of my friends being like this. It's a mixture of laziness and total absorption of her whole life by the baby/toddler raising role. She doesn't think about anyone else's point of view or needs.

I'm hoping she grows out of it. In the meantime I minimise the time I spend with her kids. Sadly that means I don't see her very much.

I guess one day you will look back and laugh about it. Just relax and enjoy it as much as possible.

When you say he did a poo in the middle of the floor, you mean in the potty, right?!

Yes the poo was in the potty. He is potty trained, has been for 6 months. Although at that age it is always a big rush to the toilet so I understand why she wants the potty there. I just wish she would consider that me and my kids might not want to sit on a sofa with a pot of wee behind us.
She is usually such a considerate person and always as hygienic as can be. As pp said I think she is just set in her ways with this and hasn't considered that it may need to be adapted for cohabitation!

Just reading this is turning my stomach. Her hygiene standards are horribly low.

I'm not an immaculate kind of person as MIL loves pointing out but basic hand washing, dishes and eating surfaces not coming into contact with gentials and hand towels not being used to clean urine are definitely standards I manage to keep.

Utterly gross, I'd never be able to have a cuppa at hers again knowing it's probably been washed in the same water as her child!

🤣 don't want to think any deeper on this and have me question everything! I've never seen her like this so it must just be this stage. Although yesterday she mopped her bathroom floor because it was the one that had ants in it, and instead of flushing the dirty water down her own loo or down the drain outside she let me know after the event that she had just flushed it down mine and if I saw a few splashes on the floor that would be why. I said "why didn't you use the drain outside or your own toilet?" She said 'because the floor was wet and I was working backwards out of the room." Umm ok. Had to go and wipe my loo down with Antibacterial wipe! Again!

All of this and my mum's nonchalant response did make me consider it may be me that is a little ott or uptight and she is just more relaxed. However these responses are helpful to see that the majority would also feel a bit icky with this.

🤢🤢🤢🤢 Ew! WTF?? Her hygiene leaves a LOT to be desired & she's being pretty selfish expecting you to put up with all her weird shit...literally! You are definitely not being unreasonable!!

Eurghhh!!!!! 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
None of that would be ok with me AT ALL!!!
She's bloody grim and I wouldn't ever eat or drink at her house in future in case it's all been washed with the water that her naked child has been in!
Bizarre

I feel sorry for the owners of the holiday cottage with that minger staying there.

From your previous posts your lodge has at least 2 en suites ... there is NO reason why a potty is needed in the lounge. It must be a 10 second dash to the bathroom

No, you're not being uptight, she's fucking rancid 😱you can't have pots of piss and shit lying around with young children running about ffs...and doesn't the whole place stink?

Washing up with a toddler in the sink is just...no. I'd go home, tbh, and I consider myself far from fastidious.

Ewww what if he wees in the sink while she's "washing up"?!?!?! 🤢

Tell her

Yuk - I wonder if there is some new guidance around potty training.

We've just come back from holidays with relatives who spent at least 2 hrs per day putting their DD on the potty and encouraging her to poo, complete with making their own straining noises and singing Poo songs. All fine - except this was in the living room, where everyone else was sitting drinking tea.

At least they cleaned up in their own bathroom .That thing with your hand towel is revolting. I'd at least ask her to put her own towel in there, or swap seeing yours is now dirty.

I don’t want anyones bare arse anywhere. On a coffee table/sofa where other people sit and have food is just disgusting.

2 year old or not, it’s grim.

And who bloody washes things up with a child in the water?

Holidays are really when you find out what people are like!

I would feel the same as you. It would feel disrespectful to me and my kids.

Next time?

No, there would not be a next time for me. Not washing hands is gross. The whole lot is gross. Just tell her.

If he's running around with no clothes on (fair enough, its hot) surely he should have pants or a nappy on. I would not want a bare bum all over my furniture as that's just gross.
The rest of it though- I don't know if I could ever eat in her house again knowing the toddler might have been bathed with the dishes you're eating off 🤢
And the hand towel thing is disgusting.
I do think you need to have a chat with her!

Actually, your latest update mates need think she’s not clueless, she’s actually quite cheeky, no reason for her to use toilet or not wipe up after herself, she acknowledged there were splashes and just couldn’t be arsed wiping them up.