Am I or is my friend?

[whatinthenameofhen]

We are on day 2 of holiday, staying in a lodge. Me and my 2 kids, best mate and her 2 kids. So far she has allowed her youngest (2.5 years) to be naked the entire time we are in the lodge. He sits on coffee table, climbs all over furniture, eats dinner naked. I'm not bothered particularly apart from the coffee table. It's just a bit unhygienic and a bit rude of her not to think of others. She keeps popping into the enduite in my room to empty the toddlers potty (when he naps she doesn't want to use her own en suite so ad not to disturb the little one). Not an issue with that but she then rinses potty in my sink, dries it on my hand towel and doesn't even wash her hands. She didn't even say 'do you mind if I do this?' Just walked past saying 'I'm just going to empty this out that OK?' (While mid way through doing it).
Earlier I went down to the kitchen and she was bathing the toddler in the kitchen sink and the toddler was using my little boys milk Beaker as a bath toy of sorts. She said she was 'Killing two birds with one stone, doing the washing up and bathing toddler at same time'.

I'm just a bit like wtf??

Am I just uptight?
Or would other people not really like this?
Thanks

She is minging 😭😭😭

Yep, she’s being passive aggressive. I would just leave.

She is not hygienic, she is disgusting. Absolutely rank person, I'd have left by now. Couldn't be around a person that grim.

How much longer is the trip ?

😱

No way I could put up with that OP. You're a saint!

What is wrong with people?!

Every single bit of this scenario is grim. I'd be putting a stop to her using my bathroom immediately! And washing up with the toddler in the sink....words fail me.

Oh no absolutely gross. It's not her house she totally shouldn't allow him naked on the furniture and coffee table 🤢 it's people like her who put me off going places. And as for the potty, NO tell her if she's going to wipe it out with a hand towel to at least use her own!

YANBU. I would really struggle with pretty much all of this.

This..
OMG that makes for grim reading.

😬

It's not the nakedness per se, it's the potentially rubbing his bum all over the coffee table - it's unhygienic!

I would tell her for the remainder of the holiday that everyone must have pants on or pull-ups and that your en-suite is for use by your family only and her en-suite is for use by her family only.

No sitting on tables as they are not chairs. Sit on a chair, wearing clothes. We all keep our private parts of our bodies private. It's fine if they want to do the naked rambler thing at home but they aren't at home, so holiday rules apply.

If she can't see that she is being completely minging here, use one of her face clothes to wipe your child's arse or to wipe the toilet seat and return it to her bathroom. Then tell her what you've done.

Her hygiene is disgusting.
These are just a few of the illnesses that are transmitted by fecal-oral transmission:

• E. coli


• adenovirus


• campylobacter


• coxsackie virus


• giardia


• hepatitis A


• Salmonella


• Shigella.

The campylobacter would be one that could make everyone ill.

As for doing the poo in the potty in the middle of the living room - that's grim too. Potty stays in the bathroom. That's where we associate going to the toilet etc. Even thinking about this is making me feel ill and I've got a hardy constitution! 😆

Just have a chat with your best mate. She's your best mate right?

Bloody hell OP, you have the patience of a Saint! 😇
She would have been told fairly but firmly that this is not OK.
I can't even stick around this Thread anymore, I'm so grossed out by your friend🥴

Why not just tell her. 'Do you mind not wiping the potty with my hand towel. I'm lease don't put toddler in the table naked, we have to eat. No you can't leave a shit in the potty behind my head.

Jesus she sounds grim

To be honest, I struggle to keep clothes on my toddler, so when around people I know well I don't fight the battle and leave the fight for public/ nursery/ people we don't know very well.

The rest however, is grim.

Yanbu, none of it is ok. I wouldn't want to see anyone else's toddler running around naked either, especially all over the stuff. I would have said something though, not caring how it came across. It's unhygienic and not ok.

Her kid's arse germs are literally on everything you interact with! I can't believe she has no shame. Like, sure, be lax with your kid's shitty arsecheeks at home if you want, but to do it in front of other people! So grim.

Also a child is kind a precious thing, so why would you plonk a kid in the washing up bowl while you do the dishes? I don't want to child's arse germs on my dishes, but I also don't want food grease and bacteria from the washing up all over my kid!

God why are people.

The potty thing is disgusting anyway, but wiping it with your hand towel is 🤢. I would put a stop to that immediately and also tell her that your child's beaker is not to be used as a toy. EVER.

Bathing DC in the kitchen sink is brilliant, though I was gutted (and henceforth had an achy back) when mine got too big for it.

My hygiene standards are pretty low but I would not be ok with any of that. Mine both went through the want to be naked phase but I always insisted on pants as don't like bare bottoms touching things.

I feel sick reading half of this
I don’t think I’d be best impressed with any of that! I certainly wouldn’t go away with her again

For those of you saying I should just tell her. I have said a few things. I am not particularly confrontational but I told her not to leave the potty full of wee there and said that was disgusting. I slso asked why she didn't use her own toilet to flush the dirty water away. What more should I do? She hasn't done the bathing in the sink thing again. I cleaned down all the surfaces this morning and cleaned the sink after the toddlers 'bath' as soon as they went away. She seemed baffled that I felt the need to put my son's beaker in the dishwasher on a hot wash. As if I am being precious.
Maybe I won't do another holiday as out standards are quite different. I was hoping it was just this potty stuff though and by next year that won't be an issue.

That is really reading.

How some people live.

Really not how most people live.

My teens would be appalled at the poo in the sitting room.

Potty poos have always been done in the loo.

As for using YOUR ensuite, the child in the sink?

No words.

I wouldn't accept a class of water from her, she is filthy and completely uncouth.

You sound a really kind person OP.
If something doesn't feel ok to you, you can express that.
You might be ott or uptight or not, it doesn't matter, if you are not comfortable with sthg , you say so.
Sometimes we put up with behaviours so we don't "rock the boat", but guess that, if you say your bit ( no need to be horrible about it, )
Your friend has got different ways and views of doing things and that's ok too (for her) , we all got different ways.
When you express sthg that doesnt feel right, you are honouring yourself, you are listening to your inner voice. Otherwise you 'll be kicking yourself thinking " I should have said sthg" and getting more and more resentful as times passes.

As you navigate through parenthood or anywhere in life, more issues like this will arise. If you quieten your inner voice it 'll stop "talking" to you, think of it as your in-built compass.