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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids staying in separate hotel room to adults

65 replies

Daisiesunderblueskies · 26/07/2022 17:15

Hi,

Myself and ex are separated, he is taking them away for the first time with his partner-very stressful for me as the first time I have been away from them. It's for three nights.

The adults are staying in a separate hotel room to the children aged 4 and 8. I feel sick at the prospect of them being completely unsupervised all night. I am questioning whether to let them go. AIBU?

OP posts:
GetOffTheRoof · 26/07/2022 17:16

Is it an interlinked room?

Skinnermarink · 26/07/2022 17:16

Adjoining rooms- right??

TheCanyon · 26/07/2022 17:17

Yanbu in the slightest. Far too young unless it's interconnecting rooms and they have no ability to open the main door.

ApolloandDaphne · 26/07/2022 17:18

That's only okay if they have adjoining rooms. It is not okay if they are in completely separate rooms elsewhere in the hotel. If this is the plan I would call the hotel and ask what their policy is on this and tell them what your ex plans to do. Maybe they can stop them.

Original poster
Daisiesunderblueskies · 26/07/2022 17:19

No, two separate rooms. I don't even know if they're next door to each other!

OP posts:
OneTC · 26/07/2022 17:19

No way at those ages

FinallyHere · 26/07/2022 17:19

Anyone should be able to work out that that is not a good idea.

If you need more ammo., check the hotel's t&c. I very much doubt they would allow this arrangement.

Original poster
Daisiesunderblueskies · 26/07/2022 17:20

I've only just found this out via my 8 year old, probably he would never have even told me. It's planned for a couple of weeks time

OP posts:
whattheduece · 26/07/2022 17:21

Daisiesunderblueskies · 26/07/2022 17:20

I've only just found this out via my 8 year old, probably he would never have even told me. It's planned for a couple of weeks time

Well that would be a big fat NOOOOO from me!
Is he out of his mind??

KnottyKnitting · 26/07/2022 17:21

No way! If the rooms were adjoining then that's fine but leaving an 8 year old would be madness but a 4 year old batshit insane!

I think they might find that the hotel would not allow this.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 26/07/2022 17:22

No way would I allow that. I can't believe he thinks it's acceptable for an 8 year old never mind the 4 year old

Awrite · 26/07/2022 17:22

No chance. Absolutely no chance.

Their Dad needs to sleep in with them. Thing is, even if he says he will, will he?

Roselilly36 · 26/07/2022 17:22

I am assuming interconnecting rooms? Otherwise there is no way hotel will allow kids of that age be alone in a hotel room, they will expect an adult to share with each child. For fire/insurance I would expect.

Original poster
Daisiesunderblueskies · 26/07/2022 17:23

I'll find out the name of the hotel-still not been forthcoming with that information. I have said that if this his plan, I insist he stays with the kids sleeping on a couch/floor whatever and his girlfriend sleeps in the other room. No way am I allowing my kids to be unsupervised all night. It's so frustrating that he doesn't use his brain and think of their safety. It makes co-parenting so much more stressful

OP posts:
HangOnToYourself · 26/07/2022 17:24

Absolutely not. My worry here would be if you raise it he will lie and say that they will stay with one kid each and then stick to the original plan.

GetOffTheRoof · 26/07/2022 17:25

If they are interconnecting rooms, I think you're being a bit OTT. It's the same as sleeping in adjacent rooms at home, surely? Especially if they block the hallway door to that room - move furniture / put the locks on etc.

Original poster
Daisiesunderblueskies · 26/07/2022 17:25

That's my fear that he will assure me that's what is happening and it'll be a lie. Thankfully I got my daughter the most BASIC of mobile phones (like a modern 3310 🙃) so I can keep in touch and if I found out that that is the arrangement, I'll be driving straight up to the hotel to collect them

OP posts:
Original poster
Daisiesunderblueskies · 26/07/2022 17:26

If they are interconnecting rooms, I think you're being a bit OTT. It's the same as sleeping in adjacent rooms at home, surely? Especially if they block the hallway door to that room - move furniture / put the locks on etc.

If it's interconnecting rooms and the door is left open, I'm fine with that. I have said that my daughter has told me they have separate rooms.

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 26/07/2022 17:27

You really can't interfere on his contact time. Even if this is really a shit plan.

Skinnermarink · 26/07/2022 17:27

The hotel wouldn’t allow it.

and to be fair you’ve got this info from an eight your old, take it with a pinch of salt until you know for sure.

sm40 · 26/07/2022 17:28

Premier inns need you to be 16 plus to sleep in a room. Assume most hotels are the same.

Afterfire · 26/07/2022 17:28

Surely with children that age you book a hotel that has 2 bed apartments?! There are plenty of them out there! (We’ve got one booked for June next year). Highly irresponsible of him not to do that.

POTC · 26/07/2022 17:28

Hotels don't allow a room without someone 18+ in it, I have an 18yr old and last year when he was 17 it was a nightmare as he didn't want to share with me but they wouldn't allow him to be without an adult in the room. No way they're okay with your two being alone!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/07/2022 17:29

Christ I thought at first it said separate hotels!

But this is still not appropriate.

Interconnecting room with open door, fine. Totally separate rooms not fine until the younger one is maybe 10, I’d say.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/07/2022 17:30

I think hotels do allow under 18s in their own room when they are teens, as my friend had her two - about 11 and 14 - in their own room.