To not want to take both kids out

[Greenwizz]

I don’t mean to the local park, feeding the ducks etc, but big days out by myself without DH just seem so hard, please tell me I am not alone, my children are 5 and 2

I think those ages are tough. It's also so busy everywhere so nothing wrong with just doing parks and low key outings.

THose ages are tough - 5 year olds want attention and 2 year old can run off.

It definitely gets easier - now at 13 and 10 it is a pleasure taking them out! And it got much easier once the youngest was 4/5

Of course he should be be going with you on big family days out, does he have a problem doing that?

Thought I was being cruel! Even with DH it is hard so not attempting it by myself, I will stick to walks etc.

Oh no not a problem with him coming, it’s just I only work 3 days so I mean the days I am alone.

No point spending money on big days out at these ages, stick to the simple, easy things

I wouldn't tend to go alone but would go with friends with children just for some adult conversation rather than help with the DC.

Why do you feel like you have to have big days out in that time anyway, there's nothing wrong with the park and feeding the ducks!

I regularly take my 3 out on my own (very small gap and all young), fly abroad with them etc. It's not always ideal but sometime I have no choice. Give it a try, it gets easier the more you do it. Maybe go with friends? Nothing wrong with staying local/playdates etc if you don't feel like it though.
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I don’t blame you. I have a just turned 5 year old and a 2 year old and I wouldn’t take them on a big day out by myself. When he’s at work we do local parks, classes, etc. If we want to go swimming, farm parks, museums then DH comes too.

I don't like going out on my own with my almost 5yo and 6yo. They can run off. I always make sure I do big trips with DH there too.

I work 3 days and have one nearly-4 DS. I don't do far-flung all day excursions on my days off either. We do soft play, parks, friends' houses and National Trusts.

In my case it isn't getting any easier as they get older - one in the process of being assessed for ADHD. It's getting more stressful.

Leave the big days out for when dh is around and do the more manageable ones on your own. The kids don't need to be out every single day, I don't know where this idea and pressure comes from.

Same here. I’m a single mum to 4 so have no choice but to take them out alone, not getting easier as oldest has asd/adhd.

One of my older DC usually accompany me with the younger DC to local parks. That's all we do really just to get outdoors.

YANBU, it’s really hard work at those ages!

Tbh I don’t think they really appreciate big days out at that age anyway. Save them for when they are older. Stick to playgrounds, playdates and other stuff closer to home for now. Even if you are soooo bored of the playground and want to do something new (been there!!) it’s not really worth the hassle IME.

Yes it’s understandable that when your kids are so little you would like another adult there for big days out. And they’re probably very happy with walks and feeding the ducks at those ages.

When they’re older you’ll feel completely differently! I love days out with my two, who are now 13 and 8 - even going abroad with them on my own is a doddle - easier in fact than with another adult! (Well easier than if my exh was there 😂)

Enjoy doing the simple things with them whilst they’re so small.

Solidarity. It's like a mission just getting out and back home in one piece. I also have four DC so I definitely hear you 💐 hats off to you though for doing it solo.

I agree that teaming up with a friend makes it a lot easier though, if you do want to do big outings. Someone to stay with the stuff/kids while you do a loo trip or get food etc.

I’m on maternity leave with a 5 year old and 6 month old. During the holidays I’ve told DH that on week days when he’s working I’m only doing local walks, the park, and the beach, and I’ll drive a few miles to other parks and a local attraction with easy parking. There’ll be days when I just stick the paddling pool in the garden too. I’ll probably meet with family/friends a few times and would consider a bit further afield then. I could manage further/busier/somewhere we haven’t been before, but it would be stressful and not enjoyable for me. We’ve planned a few big days out for weekends as it’s much nicer when we both go.

It’s perfectly fine not to do big days out through the week, every weekend, or indeed at all.

In my case it isn't getting any easier as they get older - one in the process of being assessed for ADHD. It's getting more stressful.

How old is your child? My 8 yo also being assessed for ADHD. He’s very disorganised with no road sense, very keen for things to happen exactly as planned etc. It helps that my older one is much older than him and very sensible, so I didn’t mean to suggest it’s always easy when they get older.

My DC definitely need out every day or they'd be climbing the walls. Been like this since they could all walk!

Yes, I do this a lot. 2 adults, my one child and their 2 is easier if one can go and get the coffee! Otherwise I struggle to even go to the supermarket because he wanders off mid-transaction and I have to run off which pisses off the queue 😁

I’m on maternity leave with a 5 year old and 6 month old. During the holidays I’ve told DH that on week days when he’s working I’m only doing local walks, the park, and the beach, and I’ll drive a few miles to other parks and a local attraction with easy parking.

Aw! I had that combo at one stage when on mat leave (although eldest is Oct born so was going on for 6). At the time I remember muttering to myself “oh my god this is so hard” when trying to get ready for days out, but now I remember it as an almost golden summer 😀 We did a lot of afternoon picnics with friends in the various parks around our house - my youngest tried all of his first foods sitting on a picnic blanket!

My exh didn’t take much time off work during those hols - just the odd days as self employed - and we couldn’t afford to go on a holiday. We visited family members a fair bit (three Mon- Fri trips I remember) and it was then lovely to have grandparents/ great auntie with us. We still did simple stuff like walks with them though!