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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to take both kids out

62 replies

Greenwizz · 26/07/2022 13:14

I don’t mean to the local park, feeding the ducks etc, but big days out by myself without DH just seem so hard, please tell me I am not alone, my children are 5 and 2

OP posts:
Favouritefruits · 26/07/2022 16:54

I take my children out regularly on my own but I wouldn’t go to a theme park as it’s far too busy i couldn’t keep track of them but swimming at the local pool or the zoo is easy once you get used to it. It takes practice I know that sounds strange but honestly the more you do it the easier it will become.

Greenwizz · 26/07/2022 16:56

I used to love taking my daughter before Ds came along, his tantrums are alone are enough to put me off now

OP posts:
Upsadiddles · 26/07/2022 16:58

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/07/2022 13:41

I’m on maternity leave with a 5 year old and 6 month old. During the holidays I’ve told DH that on week days when he’s working I’m only doing local walks, the park, and the beach, and I’ll drive a few miles to other parks and a local attraction with easy parking.

Aw! I had that combo at one stage when on mat leave (although eldest is Oct born so was going on for 6). At the time I remember muttering to myself “oh my god this is so hard” when trying to get ready for days out, but now I remember it as an almost golden summer 😀 We did a lot of afternoon picnics with friends in the various parks around our house - my youngest tried all of his first foods sitting on a picnic blanket!

My exh didn’t take much time off work during those hols - just the odd days as self employed - and we couldn’t afford to go on a holiday. We visited family members a fair bit (three Mon- Fri trips I remember) and it was then lovely to have grandparents/ great auntie with us. We still did simple stuff like walks with them though!

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing that’s my plan, plenty of picnics so that the mess of weaning is mostly outdoors. It is difficult getting them both sorted to go out sometimes, and I was a bit nervous about filling in the holidays, but I’m looking forward to a relaxed summer of walks and playing on the beach. Lovely to hear that you look back on your similar summer fondly Smile

cantcomplainabouttheweather · 26/07/2022 17:11

I have a 4 year old and 18 month old twins

I do days out on my own otherwise we wouldn't go anywhere as DH works weekends

It is hard and chaotic and I'm knackered by the end of the day out but honestly...it's for them not me.

Single parents manage because they have to?

MassiveSalad22 · 26/07/2022 17:14

Yanbu, those are hard ages. I have 7 and 4 (and immobile baby) and was surprised our morning out went well today (9:30-12:30). 7 and 4 is very different to 5 and 2 so hopefully things will be easier for you in a couple of years OP! No way I would do a full day out tho!

anon2334 · 26/07/2022 17:18

I wouldn't for theme parks and stuff but soft play, parks and little stuff like that. I took mine out at 3 and 4 and 7 and both youngest with ASD to farm and it was enjoyable but after 2-3 hrs was enough to be honest and it was time of covid so time slots. With 2 adults its so much easier so dont worry you're not alone.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 26/07/2022 17:22

If you have a garden I would invest in some decent toys/equipment to keep them amused. At those ages my daughters favourite things were potion making/mud kitchen, trampoline, water table and sand pit. Plus ride on toys, water pistols, cheap solid plastic pool (we did one each!) We hunted car boots/charity shop for cheap figures, old tupperware and plastic houses to play with in the water.

You can get gazebos fairly cheap so can use garden in all weather. (aldi do a fold up one, I regularly put these up and down alone at work).

Facebook marketplace you can get some great bargains, the money you would spend on 1 day out could provide a whole summer of stress free fun!

I work in a preschool we use builders trays (or sometimes called tuff trays) for a whole host of messiness. Loads of ideas online/pinterest. Or alternatively cat litter trays if you wanted to keep it individual and on a smaller scale. We do that now indoors all year round (I save free newspapers to cover the floor with!)

Or try and brave going out, my dh worked alot of hours when my girls were young so i did beach days, arcade (they loved 2p machines!), Saturday morning cinema or just park days on my own. We used to plan 1-2 days out a week, but went for a walk most days to burn off energy!! The more you do it, the easier it becomes, I dont drive either so we had to get a bus/train to most days out!

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 26/07/2022 18:25

It's fine, just carry on taking them to the park and to feed the ducks if you are comfortable with that. When they get older it gets easier and you'll find you are happier taking them other places

TiredYorkshireMam · 27/07/2022 16:03

Greenwizz · 26/07/2022 13:22

Oh no not a problem with him coming, it’s just I only work 3 days so I mean the days I am alone.

I am in same position work wise and kids ages and no, I don't attempt big days out just the 3 of us. We do the park etc and sometimes softplay, but even then I find softplay etc easier to go with another mum
and kids.

Even just things like going to the loo or taking one kid to the loo can be hard as you either have to round up both of them (near impossible) or grab one and run and be panicking about the other one the whole time.

jayho · 27/07/2022 16:12

Don't know if this will be useful to you but I had a similar age gap. I got a NAtional Trust membership - with Clubcard points I think. there was one property about 2 miles from us that had huge grounds and gardens, an adventure playground and a cafe. Some holidays I'd go almost every day. they also do (did) free craft activities for kids in the holidays, see if there's anywhere near you.

GeriTheBerry · 27/07/2022 16:21

I used to do theme parks with two at that age- found that quite easy- but would never have attempted swimming which just seemed impossible.

WimbyAce · 27/07/2022 16:34

I agree, I have 7 and 2 and wouldn't do any big days out on my own. 2 is at that age where she is very dangerous and subject to meltdowns so does need a lot of attention and while 7 is now quite sensible I feel she has a better time if both of us are there as we can have time 1 to 1 with each then.

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