to not want to go out for DH's birthday with this couple?

[prissymissy]

My DH's birthday is next month. A couple we are 'kinda' friendly with usually come with us for a meal/night out as it's her DH's birthday in Feb also (they are more DH's mates than mine).

When I asked her what her plans were for their birthdays she said that we should all go for a meal, then we should go onto a lap bar/strip joint (whatever they are called) because she wants to pay for him to have a private dance with one of the girls .

Now don't get me wrong, I am aware this couple are not in a monogamous marriage, but usually they keep us out of their shenanigans. DH just laughed and told me to take a chill pill. WTF! .

It doesn't sound like my idea of a good night. Would we be unreasobable to make an excuse not to go? I;m thinking of saying we can't get a babysitter, but nearer the time. Or shall I tell her I am a bit uncomfortable about the strip club thing? Am I being a prude about this?

Did I read this right? She wants other women to come to a lapdancing/strip joint?
I'd just tell her straight its not your kind of thing - for you or dp but that you hope they have a nice evening anyway and he enjoys his dance.

Did I read this right? She wants other women to come to a lapdancing/strip joint?
I'd just tell her straight its not your kind of thing - for you or dp but that you hope they have a nice evening anyway and he enjoys his dance.

I agree with Flibberty..do you think your DH will insist on going?

Yes, you read right. This couple are very weird. I am not going i just need to convince DH I am not being a bore.

They sound like swingers to me. Unless your a swinger yourself I'd give them a wide berth TBH.

Go for the meal and then let them go on their merry way. How strange to invite someone along to witness your dh having a lapdance!

Well if thats what THEY want to do then fair enough but if you are not happy about it then just go for the meal and leave them to it. Personally if they were starting to invite you along to this kind of thing and its going to cause problems between you and hubby its time to find new friends.

NO,
dont class my self as a prude whatsoever but wouldnt fancy this either..
i would say am not into this and dont fancy said club sleazy bada bing ...

and i'd tell her if anyone was gonna pay for my dh to have a private dance it would be me..
fortunately i know think he'd hate it..

I wouldn't go, there will be a bowl in the middle of the table where there car keys are

prissy, you aren't the same poster who had these friends that were swingers and kept hinting at you and DH joining in are you?

No way would I do something like this (unless I wanted too.)

She is not the boss of you. Just tell her you don't want to go and your DH needs to do some explaining about why he wants to go to a lap dancing club too imo.

Time to find new friends. They sound sleazy as hell. Yuck!!

Does she want to pay for a lap dance for her hubby or yours?

They are not swingers (at the moment) but they told DH they were considering it .I know I am not into swinging thats the main thing i suppose.

NAB I assumed she meant HER DH although you never know .

Exactly!

I think I will text them on the night and say we can't get a babysitter. I'm glad you all think I am not being a prude.

Get some balls and tell them it isn't your thing and you don't want to go.

Why spend time with a couple when you won't enjoy it?

"They are not swingers (at the moment) but they told DH they were considering it"
Bollocks - they are already swingers and were dropping a hint!!!

Flibberty I think you might be right. I can't imagine our other couple friends inviting us to a lap bar. I thought it very odd when she said.

I'd tell her to catch a fucking grip of herself....

What woman, with any morals would want to pay for a half naked thing to gyrate on her husband's lap?

Halfwit!

I'd be honest, do you like them in every other respect?

I mean, most of us have friends who do something we wouldnt do ourselves, doesn't mean they have to stop being our friends.

I'd be more inclined to ask DH what his idea of it was some men like it, and I think you should find out if the idea of it is anything your DH likes the idea of.

If not, then tell them you'll go for the meal but the strip club isn't your type of thing.

If DH does like the idea of a dance, and you're not happy with someone else giving him one, maybe do it yourself?

FWIW, strip clubs arent as bad as they sound, you can just go along and get pissed without taking any notice of the girls.

prissymissy I wouldn't bother lying and saying you can't get a babysitter otherwise they will jest keep pestering you.

End it once and for all by simply saying "no thanks, that sort of thing isn't really our scene, your wasting your time asking".

I don't think it matters wheter they are swingers or not. I think this woman sounds like a self centred, attention seeking moron. She is trying to show off. There is no way on this earth i would consider this arrangement, no way!!!

Not because i have a problem with strip clubs, in fact ive quite fancied taking DP - we nearly did when we were in switzerland, but bottled it at the door! It is just quite a personal thing, imo and not something i would want to do with another couple. To be honest, i think this woman, whilst trying to give off the message that she is SO secure in her relationship/sexuality, i think she is seriously insecure!!

As for making out you cant get a babysitter? Just say, NO that is not something that would interest me. If your DH wants to go to a lap club and you don't then let him go on a less significant night.

Oh and drop the friends, they are freaks!

VS my DH has been to a strip club before, he would go but it's me that doesn't want too. I will talk to him later, he's in the bath. I personally would prefer to have a meal and go home. I would personally prefer to go out with our other friends.