Summer holiday unwritten " laws."

[malificent7]

Tongue in cheek.

There shall be a huge heatwave the last week of school when the kids are too hot to do anything then without fail rain on the 1st day of holidayd followed by a cold spell. Intermittent bad weather for 6 weeks for all those taking a staycation.

The road works start the 1st week of school holidays...great for school run mums; shit for commuters.

Wasps and seagulls will congregate on the beach.

Please add to the list.

Holidays*

Back to school advertising starts before the schools have even broken up

There will be one grumpy adult on every street shouting at the kids who are playing out and making too much noise.

The dog will puncture the paddling pool with its claws on the first day it's set up for use in the garden.

The wind will blow the paddling pool into s rose bush which then punctures it. (This may or may not have happened to me)

You will spend the entire holiday (and indeed your bank balance) taking the children to wonderful places #making memories etc but on the last day before they go back you will rush from Clarks to uniform shop to hairdressers and end up in McDonalds. When the kids get back to school and write their "what we did on the holidays" essay it will only mention McDonalds and the dead pigeon they found in a bush and poked with a stick until maggots came out.

Kids that you have to drag out of bed for the whole school year will be up at the crack of dawn

@DessicatedWithering 😂

All routines about bedtime, meals, homework go out the window and you have a face like Captain Von Trapp suddenly realising that the feral children in the neighbourhood hanging from trees wearing old curtains are your own children.

You will have approximately 6 weeks to empty the ruck sacks they bought home from school on the last day of term. No one will look in the direction of the ruck sacks for 5 weeks and 6 days. You will actually empty them the day before they go back to school, throwing everything in the bin. One child will wake up on the first day back at school looking for a tiny scrap of paper with a shit drawing of a flower on it, that happened to be in her ruck sack. There will be holy war.

Plus at the bottom of the rucksack is a screwed up letter about a uniform change and a summer homework project and you now have to find some pure black trainers without a single spec of white in them and make a working model of a nuclear power station using blancmange by tomorrow and all of the shops are now shut.

The school will commence and buildings/repair works when the new term begins

On the first morning of the school holidays at least one of the DC will announce that they are bored 😂

Children have to eat te entire contents of the fridge and the snack cupboard on a daily basis. If they don't get at least 6 yogurts a day they will obviously starve to death

You forgot the sunny weather in September once all schools have returned. Last year on the very first day of term!

You’ll wait until the last minute to get school shoes because your sure child is due a growth spurt.
You leave it too late and end up with the last pair of shoes in your child’s size which they describe as “ugly”. The shoes are ridiculously expensive.
Day 1 of school child complains of blisters. Day 5 child’s feet are a whole size bigger and won’t fit in the shoes no matter how hard you try to jam them in.

make a working model of a nuclear power station using blancmange by tomorrow

😂

All the parents of preschoolers will complain that their usual haunts on a wet Tuesday afternoon are suddenly rammed with no parking and/or booked tickets only. 😁

Your children will continually ask 'Is it lunchtime yet?' At 10am!

You emerge exhausted from your 'home office' at 5pm with the intention of doing something nice with your pre-teens to find that they have wreaked unimaginable havoc in the kitchen and living room with various baking and craft projects, yet as soon as you mention them helping tidy it up they suddenly realise their friends are now coming out and they have to rush off to meet them.

The school rucksack (when you eventually open it), along with the shit picture of a flower, uniform change letter and the blancmange holiday project will also contain the remnants of the last day of term's packed lunch. It'll probably be most of an egg sandwich.

You’ll spend the GDP of a small nation funding holiday clubs and camps offering a range of activities to keep the little darlings amused while you work to pay for said clubs. Every single day there will be much whining and moaning about whatever activity you’ve signed them up for. If you decide one day to keep them home they’ll main line Minecraft for 8 hours while simultaneously telling you how bored they are.

My niece went to Majorca with her mum for two weeks, had several days out with her dad in some lovely places, but her what I did in the school holidays essay was about a day trip to Blackpool with a friend's family and they had doughnuts.

Anything you have offhandedly said you will do over the holidays has to be done in the first 3 days then have no money or ideas left for the next 5 weeks.

@DessicatedWithering absolutely spot on 🤣🤣🤣