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Original poster

Summer holiday unwritten " laws."

111 replies

malificent7 · 26/07/2022 10:37

Tongue in cheek.

There shall be a huge heatwave the last week of school when the kids are too hot to do anything then without fail rain on the 1st day of holidayd followed by a cold spell. Intermittent bad weather for 6 weeks for all those taking a staycation.

The road works start the 1st week of school holidays...great for school run mums; shit for commuters.

Wasps and seagulls will congregate on the beach.

Please add to the list.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 26/07/2022 16:59

Your 16 year old will be

continually hungry
bored
Asking for more money
Won't get up until after midday
Ignore you
Stay on their PS4.
Demand you get a new scientific calculator (local shop no good for these, so visit to town required) only to find old calculator the day school reopens.

londonmummy1966 · 26/07/2022 17:08

On the Friday of the first week of the holidays the TRex at the Natural History Museum will give you the side eye as if to say "I really didn't expect to see you here quite this early"....

SchoolHolidayslovingit · 26/07/2022 17:17

You will plan out activities for your child that they asked for, in exchange for a few days a week at a holiday club.

Child will then proceed to refuse to enter holiday club under any circumstances so they cancel the place. You can't work now due to no childcare and no family help. So you cancel all fun days out to save money so you can actually eat.

Child will then spend the first week moaning they want their dad, when it's their dads weekend he'll return them early because "They kept asking for their mum"

Only 6 weeks to go....

Myonlysunshine123 · 26/07/2022 17:23

@FlibbertyGibbitt
Sounds like my son (14) I've got drawers full of stationary because I love it, but he takes a chewed up biro and a broken ruler, in his pocket, not any of the pencil cases I've bought.

AnguaResurgam · 26/07/2022 17:32

Your eldest DC will bring home from university the now traditional twin joys of dirty laundry and covid-19

Hedonism · 26/07/2022 17:41

You will book a brilliant activity to do together and foolishly think that that is one day taken care of. Then you will realise that there are, in fact, another 23 hours in that day, and your children are only prepared to sleep for 8 of them.

Lolalime · 26/07/2022 17:44

In the run up to the break you see adverts for amazing days out and think ‘that would be good for the summer holidays’ , plan in your head all these amazing family bonding days out only to promptly forget them all by the end of the first week. ( please tell me others do this)

Itshotoutthere · 26/07/2022 17:46

Everything for the first week will be planned .. then after the first day despite all best plans etc you will lose your shit 🤣🤣

junglejane66 · 26/07/2022 17:49

TrickorTreacle · 26/07/2022 16:23

Your greenhouse is smashed because the DCs + their mates have played cricket in your back garden.

Never let a greenhouse drink alcohol while watching cricket, it never ends well

Shortpoet · 26/07/2022 17:56

Your child discovers a love of baking.

Everything in the kitchen is now sticky. Everything.

WonderingWanda · 26/07/2022 18:00

Mc Donald's all over the country will run out of milkshake!

BlackeyedSusan · 26/07/2022 18:13

You only wash PEkit on the last day of the holidays.

Jmaho · 26/07/2022 18:22

You will for the first time in your life be totally organised with holiday club of choice booked well in advance on same day as their friends, all lifts etc sorted. Even all clothes laid out and lunches made ready for a stress free morning as you're so ridiculously busy at work and at 11 o clock the night before your child will projectile vomit everywhere meaning they can no longer go
You just know then it's a waiting game until all children plus the adults get the bug!

Justwanttobebythesea · 26/07/2022 18:35

You will need to buy lots of new stationery again at an exorbitant cost despite having a home box bursting with stationery as said box does not contain the right pencils / pens for the next year up. Also another new pencil case (as new desks from September are less deep so the old one doesn't fit any more - sigh!)

Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 26/07/2022 18:52

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/07/2022 14:59

Teachers: you will have a fantastic Friday to Sunday when you break up, then on the Monday of ther first week will start the process of fretting away the rest of the holiday, entirely ruining it for yourself.

🤦 this is is me exactly! I'm my own worst enemy!

MakkaPakkas · 26/07/2022 19:24

junglejane66 · 26/07/2022 17:49

Never let a greenhouse drink alcohol while watching cricket, it never ends well

Show quote history

This really tickled me

Narwhalelife · 26/07/2022 19:36

DessicatedWithering · 26/07/2022 11:24

You will spend the entire holiday (and indeed your bank balance) taking the children to wonderful places #making memories etc but on the last day before they go back you will rush from Clarks to uniform shop to hairdressers and end up in McDonalds. When the kids get back to school and write their "what we did on the holidays" essay it will only mention McDonalds and the dead pigeon they found in a bush and poked with a stick until maggots came out.

This!!!!

My 13 yr old DD (OC) is well travelled and well entertained every summer - not just us but grandparents too.

Yesterday I asked her for a favourite memory of a particular holiday destination we went to in 2019 so we could recreate this year when we returned and she swore black was white that she had never been there. When I finally convinced her with photos that she had she just said - thought that was insert local beach where we walk the dogs all year round 🫠🫠

Narwhalelife · 26/07/2022 19:51

My own list:

  • 13 DD will want to ‘chill because school is draining’ this will last approximately until 11am on the 1st day of the holidays and they become bored infinitum. 🙄
  • Previously very well behaved dogs who regularly go to the beach will act like utter dickheads the minute you arrive on the beach for a family day out until the minute you leave - meaning you spend all day shouting at and apologising for dogs and don’t even open the book you stupidly bought with you. 😑
  • Suddenly DH has loads of overtime available and cares about energy bills 🥲
  • your own work sudden announce extra work that ‘looks great for the people interesting in promotion in the autumn’ 🫠
  • IT WILL RAIN more than it does in January
  • You realise days are actually longer in the summer holidays
  • like Christmas pay lasting until the 91st January - money seems to dry up by the 2nd week of then holidays - yup even the money you put aside.
  • your 13 DD will insist on any outing being a fashion parade and then moan that ‘are we only going food shopping?’
  • there will be a family holiday but the stress of organising it (and all the animals so they don’t perish while we are away) may actually kill you.
🫠 such happy memories to be made though.
Shortpoet · 26/07/2022 21:55

Youve used up all your annual leave, called in all the childcare favours but the start of term is nearly here. We’ve got it sorted.

You run into a school mum in town. “What are you doing on those two INSET days at the start of term?”

“Two inset days? They go back on the 5th right?”

“Oh, no, first day back is the 7th.”

ThunderThighs123 · 26/07/2022 22:54

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/07/2022 14:59

Teachers: you will have a fantastic Friday to Sunday when you break up, then on the Monday of ther first week will start the process of fretting away the rest of the holiday, entirely ruining it for yourself.

This!!! Glad I'm not the only one! 😅

ThunderThighs123 · 26/07/2022 22:56

Shortpoet · 26/07/2022 21:55

Youve used up all your annual leave, called in all the childcare favours but the start of term is nearly here. We’ve got it sorted.

You run into a school mum in town. “What are you doing on those two INSET days at the start of term?”

“Two inset days? They go back on the 5th right?”

“Oh, no, first day back is the 7th.”

This!!

ThomasinaGallico · 26/07/2022 23:11

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/07/2022 16:51

On the flip side of the “what I did in the holidays” essay, I still remember that at age 7 I wrote a long story outlining lots of things we’d done. Was really proud of it. At the end I happened to comment that I’d had a nose bleed. The teacher’s only comment on the essay was “oh dear!” to the nose bleed aspect. Felt so sorry I’d mentioned it as it’d worked so hard on my essay and would have appreciated a “good work” or “well done”!

Oh, I used to hate the ticks at the end of the essay you’d spent all weekend perfecting. Just so CBA. Even a ‘good work’ or ‘excellent’ seemed somehow inadequate. Even from an early age I preferred proper grades.

sueelleker · 27/07/2022 10:33

CatBumJuice · 26/07/2022 12:34

The school rucksack (when you eventually open it), along with the shit picture of a flower, uniform change letter and the blancmange holiday project will also contain the remnants of the last day of term's packed lunch. It'll probably be most of an egg sandwich.

Or a very ripe banana skin.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/07/2022 10:45

The uniform shop will be closed on your free day.

Your school will chose a uniform shop 20 miles away in the next county...

elliejjtiny · 27/07/2022 10:50

@DessicatedWithering yes to this!

This year we have to move out and live with the inlaws for 6 months so I'm spending the summer holidays packing up the house and getting all the stuff out of the loft that we might need before next easter and wondering where on earth we are going to store it all.

Still, next year I will be able to spend ages planning the most exciting trips out for the cheapest price. And no doubt the highlight will be Daddy taking them to tesco and letting them choose the crisps.