Summer holiday unwritten " laws."

[malificent7]

Tongue in cheek.

There shall be a huge heatwave the last week of school when the kids are too hot to do anything then without fail rain on the 1st day of holidayd followed by a cold spell. Intermittent bad weather for 6 weeks for all those taking a staycation.

The road works start the 1st week of school holidays...great for school run mums; shit for commuters.

Wasps and seagulls will congregate on the beach.

Please add to the list.

(Parent of teenagers)

You will pay through the nose for a lovely villa holiday on the Med. Your teen DD will be sniffy and say ‘all’ her friends are going to Florida/Jamaica/New York.

You’ll arrive at villa and DD will spend all her time messaging her friends who are ALL, as it turns out, not in the Bahamas/Miami/Hawaii, but in the UK. She’ll strop that’s she’s missing out on day trips to Thorpe Park and Brighton beach.

Fucking teens.

Where I live broke the road works rule and did a bunch in the month before the schools got out. It caused a bit of disruption and more confusion, but I think it worked better for those walking to school on busy roads that were closed from about an hour before to an hour after school hours.

The trees in my back garden will go from no visible fruit to them shitting fruit everywhere over a summer weekend. One child will be very eager to collect the fruit, but then complain about the tree dropping fruit while they do so.

Mc Donald's all over the country will run out of milkshake! Yes, and everywhere else selling milkshakes will be of lower quality than a few weeks before because they're all running out and equipment is breaking.

I will have that internal debate about trying to get my teenager off his devices while on my own regularly more frequently.

Much moaning about wanting to go on a "proper" holiday (what is wrong with 3 weeks driving around Europe looking at castles and art galleries ?) a "proper" holiday on an aeroplane is booked complete with all inclusive - kids refuse to participate in any hotel related activities because quote "it's full of people" and keep asking to go out to see things, ironically castles! They are grown now and take trips of Europe visiting castles!

Holiday budget ends up going on poorly timed but urgent car repair, broken washing machine or similar 3 days in.

You make the mistake of going away on hols in the first week so that the DCs are then spoiled and moan for the remaining 5 that they are bored and 'can't we go to the sea'? We've somehow managed to build our lives as far from the sea as it's possible to get in the UK 🙄

You leave it .... leave it .... leave it .... for as long as you dare to get the new shoes/uniform and you always leave it too long ....

I did that with mumps, and passed them on to my DB. Four weeks of the 6-week holiday, unable to go anywhere.

I'd probably have done the same when I got German measles right at the end of the summer term, but luckily for him, DB wasn't born then.

I gave them to my dad instead. 😁

In addition to remembering the grubby rucksack, you will also empty the blazer and/or coat during the last week, in preparation for washing.

You will of course find more fruit peel and random sandwich chunks, chewed gum, used tissues and at least 2 leaky biros. Check every pocket at least 17 times as you will definitely miss one and wash some non washable stuff. If the child had any pin type badges there will likely be a couple undone in a pocket and they will stab you.
(top tip pull the pockets right out and shake in the garden. Leave them pulled out in the washing machine).

Oh and don’t forget the p.e. bag which may be separate. You may find your child ended up with someone else’s top and this stinks of b.o. and after festering for 6 weeks plus a whole half term it might still stink after an intense hot wash…

There will be a strike, probably air traffic control, but could be trains, or French border control. It will muck up your holiday.

The must-have holiday item you sensibly bought at a bargain price back in January when it was in the sales will have unaccountably vanished from the place you distinctly remember putting it, when you come to pack.

After turning the house upside down, you'll have no choice but to hastily buy a crappier version at 3 x the price.

You will, of course, find the first one while you are unpacking and putting things away when you come home.

Your new summer holiday clothes get suncream on them. And it never washes out.

I.don't believe in any kind of holiday work or projects. Impose.it on.any child of mine and it will accidentally get lost !.

@TokyoTen or you will drop a brick into the side of the paddling pool (huge bought especially for heatwave) two days after you put it up puncturing it, trying to create steps for the dog to get out as she’d taken to leaping in, so she doesn’t puncture it with her claws. This definitely didn’t happen to me 😳

Children will get every illness going throughout the holidays thus ruining all carefully costed days out/holiday plans, said kids will bounce back to perfect health in time for the hell that is the school run

If you're a SAHM, your DC get lots of new best friends!

You smugly collect up all the gift voucher cards that have been scattered on various shelves/in wallets and head to WH Smith’s to buy all the stationery early (as your DS12 has unaccountably eaten all the contents of his pencil case), get to the till, and realise you’ve bloody left the vouchers at home!

Train drivers will go on strike.

So funny - thank you ❤️

And don't forget after many years of taking four dc to a huge variety of days out, museums, activities, exciting places and spending oodles of cash and every last drop of enthusiasm and sanity your older teenage DC will tell you that you wasted your time and money as they don't remember any of it....

(Similar theme to the "What I did on my holiday essay"!)

ungrateful bastards

Crisps become a legitimate item for breakfast😁

Huge paddling pool and new swimsuits/bikinis will be bought during a sweltering weekend in July. The following day, the temperature drops by 10 deg and it rains constantly for the next 6 weeks.

You go on holiday and it rains every day. When you arrive back home you find that they have had unbroken sunshine.

You morph from a fully functioning, useful member of society into a 5 year old's snack bitch for 6 weeks

Most of these sound perfect to me.

I'm the grumpy cow trying to sleep whilst your little brats darlings are screeching and shouting at the top of their voices at the person standing all of 3m (10ft) away.

Bring on the thunderstorms until September please.

My kids will be hardy, healthy and wholeheartedly fine, eating mud, not washing their hair for days on end, barely eating any normal food for the quickness, and don’t have to wash hands ness of snacks on the go, for precisely 6 weeks and one day. On the first day of term all four will come home with raging temperatures/sore throats/a rash/a cough/or spewing their lungs up. Yay.

Your teenager turns nocturnal and cooks pizza for lunch at 3am.

Roadworks and 4-way traffic lights are scheduled back to back along your whole normal route to work so the only option is a country lane with no passing places and loads of small children on giant horses, which you can barely drive due to being half asleep after being woken up at 3am.

The washing machine starts making alarming noises.

Loving these 😆😆😆 My lot are in their late 20s now so this is bringing back lots of memories!