Who are you? Aaarrghh

[antelopevalley]

I am having a shit day. Back at hospital this evening with my DP. It is an ongoing issue so I am not worried, but he needs treatment tonight to be okay.

He feels pretty unwell and so I have asked different Drs questions for him e.g. so should he continue with his existing medication alongside the new medication? When should we see some improvement? etc etc.

Every time I get asked - who are you? Often said in quite a demanding tone. What does it matter who I am? DP is there with me and is obviously quite happy for me to hear everything they are saying. Why does it matter whether I am his wife, a girlfriend, a sister or a friend? I am obviously not a random stranger. It just annoys me so much. It is really none of their business.
AIBU?

If it makes you feel any better, before you have a conversation with a patient you check their name and date of birth. Effectively asking who they are.

I have not been rude. I have disagreed with them.

@Eeksteek But that is not what happens

@RewildingAmbridge we are married even though I say partner.

And if a patient who was non verbal- for any reason eg stroke, a very young child, a child like my DD - what should the medical staff do then?
Assume whoever is standing there that they can treat the patient without asking who that person is?
If it were a Jehovah’s Witness who was unconscious…
If the person lacked capacity but it wasn’t immediately obvious?
These are some of the perfectly normal reasons you would ask who is the person there.
If I went with a friend or sister to the hospital I would absolutely not want them to hear any discussion I had about anything I had to say unless I needed assistance to do so. Therefore asking who you are helps them to know whether or not to ask for consent because some people cannot give an appropriate response.
How is that difficult?
Alternatively, imagine your husband absolutely despised you and thought you were poisoning him. Being asked who you were and THEN consent helps the staff to know how to deal with any emerging issues (for instance in a slightly less responsive patient did he take his medication today or whatever).
They aren’t asking you to prove who you are so stressed or not, if I were you I’d just answer the sodding question.
Or, you know, make a complaint via PALS and get the hospital’s view on it.

It should be. It’s best practice. When they ask who you are they are tactfully giving your husband an opening choose whether he wants to share his confidentially medical information with you. Are they supposed to telepathically know that you are his wife and that he is happy to share his medical if or with you? Because neither of those things are a given, and they didn’t teach telepathic relative ID on any of my pre or post grad health professional courses. Maybe they should change that?

Seriously, medical information is confidential. It should be shared beyond with the immediate medical team and the patient only with the patient’s express permission. What would you like them to do?

Why ask a question if you are just going to be a dick when people answer it?

Try being less of a prick in life, you may find that people are then more easy going with you.

@Eeksteek I want them to do what the best staff do. Introduce themselves and then ask who everyone is and ask DP if he is fine for me to hear info about him. Whether I am his wife, friend, neighbour, etc is irrelevant. Consent is the issue.
Of course I am not going to make a complaint. Staff are far too busy already.

@Natty13 do you always call people names when they disagree with you?

@antelopevalley

Introduce themselves and then ask who everyone is

I thought he whole point of your thread was that you didn't want them to ask who you were???

@coolmaker I have said in the thread that I am fine when a medic introduced themselves and asks who DP and I are.
What I experience often is a medic walks in, starts examining DP, I ask a question and they go - And who are you?

so the problem is them not introducing themselves? Not at all what your thread is about