Footing the bill?

[Birthdaysbloodybirthdays]

Jane and Bob are brother and sister. Bob has a birthday coming up.
Jane decided it should be celebrated.
Jane and Bob both have two children who are the same age (early 20s)
In attendance is Jane, Bob, their dad, Jane’s children and Bob’s children.
Jane decides the bill should be split four ways. Herself, her dad and Bob’s DC1 & DC2.

Is it fair that Jane’s children don’t pay?

YABU - no they’re just as old and if they’re attending they should be paying too
YANBU - it’s Bob’s birthday and only his own children should pay

Either Jane pay the lot or don't have the party

What was the logic for them not paying? I cannot think of a scenario where Bob’s children would pay and Jane’s children wouldn’t. Unless Jane is paying for them as well as a portion of Bob’s meal?

Why would janes children not pay? What sense does that make. Everyone pay their own and split Bobs share between them.

Is something missing, why does she think her kids shouldn’t pay, is it because they don’t earn much or don’t work and bobs kids do?

Why is Jane making decisions about other peoples money?!

She's trying it on - I just wouldnn't go if she was pulling stunts like this.

Too many different permutations to go with your voting.

Why would Jane's children not pay but Bob's children do? Is there a difference in their circumstances e.g Jane's children are still undergraduate students whereas Bob's children have well paid jobs?

Was the whole thing Jane's idea?. Does Bob even want to go out for a meal with the family?

Without any further detail I'd say either:

1. Jane pays for the lot as it was her idea and she invited people

Or

1. Split 3 ways, Jane, Bob and dad depending on dad's circumstances, if he can't afford it, then split 2 ways between Jane and Bob.

Or

1. If all working adults and able to afford it, then split 7 ways. Or 6 ways if you all agree to cover Bob's share.

Unless Jane means she is covering her children's share along with her own, that is unreasonable.

The meal should have either been Jane's treat (as she arranged it), or split evenly among all adults.

If Jane didn't want her dc to pay, she should have paid their part.

7 bills split 6 ways.
Or each pay own way and Jane treats Bob.

Just tell us who you are ffs. I hate these disingenuous posts.

In my family Jane and Bob would split it 50/50 and the dc wouldn’t be involved. But clearly you have an issue somewhere. Do spit it out.

Jane should have been very clear if she didn't want to pay, right at the planning stage.

If she didn't want to pay, then she can either pay for her kids, pay for Bob and her kids, or everyone pays their own way. What she can't do is make other people pay for her kids.

Jane , dad and all adult children should split the bill.
Bob shouldn't pay.

Bill split 6 ways. It's up to Jane if she pays for half herself or not.

If Jane thinks there should be a celebration then she should pay. She doesn't get to spend other people's money for them.

No there’s no circumstances why Bob’s children should pay and Jane’s shouldn’t. There’s no difference in financial situation like the example you made.

Whole thing was Jane’s idea yes. She wants to be “hostess with the mostess” without the burden of the full bill. Bob probably isn’t bothered about going for birthday meal (Surprise meal btw hence why he wasn’t included in bill)

Unless she thinks her, her dad and bobs kids should split bobs and then pay for themselves and she pays for her kids 🤷‍♀️
Are hers in full time education? Or SEN? Or some other reason that they may or be financially as well off as Bob's kids?
Either way bobs Dad and kids shouldn't cover the cost of Janes kids.

Cross post- that's bizarre. So she wants Bob's kids to pay for hers? I could understand her kids not contributing to Bob's share whilst asking his kids to- I wouldn't do it but I wouldn't think she was from another planet. But asking his kids to subsidize hers is very odd.

7 people, Jane, Bob, their Dad and 4 adult children.
Either the bill is split between the 6 (with each paying a little of Bob’s share), or 7 or Jane pays the lot as the person organising and inviting. However the bill is split should be made clear at the time of inviting them.

As it was a surprise then it should be split 6 ways (excluding Bob) if Jane wishes to pay 3/6 and treat her children then that’s up to her but other people shouldn’t be expected to cover them! Alternatively, Jane pays for all of it.

Think it should be split between Jane and Bob. All the others are guests.

Why should Bob's children have to pay but Jane's children not be expected to?! Most unfair (does come with the caveat that I'm assuming both sets of children are adults)

Presumably you're Bob's wife or DD? Why not just say so.

Jane presumably has a reason why her DC shouldn't pay, so what is it? How would the post read if Jane posted it?

On the face of it, obviously either all DC should be paying or none, so presumably there's some logic to Jane's suggestion.

All DC should pay or none. Goodness knows about the rest of it!

Are you sure Jane meant that it was split equally 4 ways? I can see some sense in those 4 paying - but Jane obviously paying 50% of the bill (3/6th for herself + her 2 children), Dad pays 1/6th, each of Bob's children pay 1/6th each.