Footing the bill?

[Birthdaysbloodybirthdays]

Jane and Bob are brother and sister. Bob has a birthday coming up.
Jane decided it should be celebrated.
Jane and Bob both have two children who are the same age (early 20s)
In attendance is Jane, Bob, their dad, Jane’s children and Bob’s children.
Jane decides the bill should be split four ways. Herself, her dad and Bob’s DC1 & DC2.

Is it fair that Jane’s children don’t pay?

YABU - no they’re just as old and if they’re attending they should be paying too
YANBU - it’s Bob’s birthday and only his own children should pay

There are billions of options, and this kind of thing really should be sorted out in advance, at the time of booking.

As a going in, I assume each should pay their own way.
Then, one or all of the following could offer to pay for the birthday boy:Jane, his Dad, his DC.

Splitting the whole bill four ways is crackers because it means Bob's DC and Dad are picking up part of Jane's DC's bill.

Jane's children should either give the meal a miss or pay for themselves. No reason why Bob's children should pay for them.

It should be split 6 ways or Jane pays the lot.

Jane pays or Jane and Bob pay or dad pays our dad and Jane or dad and Jane and Bob.

Bob's children should not pay a portion of Jane's children's meal. That would be weird. Happy birthday Bob. For your birthday this year I have fleeced your children.

Bob'sy children should take their dather for a meal and forget about Aunty Jane & her CF children.
Aunty Jane sounds like a manipulative PITA

Why doesn't Jane just cook a meal and invite everyone, asking those who want to drink alcohol to bring a bottle.

Did anyone ask Jane why?

I hope someone told Jane way?

All DC should pay or none. Goodness knows about the rest of it

This

I find there treads even more annoying than reverses. Just ask a simple honest question and you’ll get a simple honest answer. If you can’t even do that anonymously with strangers on the internet no wonder you can’t even talk to your family about splitting a bill!

Absolutely

Neither or your options.
Jane decided the birthday should be celebrated so foot the bill or cancel the celebration

I hate this type of post as well. Just state the facts correctly and then you might get sensible answers. If you can’t communicate properly between yourselves perhaps this is why the situation arose in the first place.

Either Jane foots the bill, Jane and her Dad do, or all the adults OTHER than Bob does. Why should he pay for his own party when it wasn't even his idea? Hey bro I'm arranging a dinner for you but you gotta pay..
But regardless I see no reason why Jane's adult kids shouldn't pay (unless she pays for them).

And they don’t even come back to say what actually was raised with the CF…

I would say Jane pays but it is a nice gesture for her Dad to chip in.

Jane wanted to have the birthday dinner so she should pay the bill. It’s bad form to invite people to a celebration and expect them to pay.

Jane is a dickhead. Don't be like Jane.

I am also of the opinion that Aunty Jane is a manipulative PITA.

Exactly what I wrote is what happened. I am another relative who was also there but wasn’t asked to contribute to the bill as I arranged cake and decorations. No one questioned Jane as she goes about it in a way she knows people won’t, puts people on the spot etc. She has form. It was playing on my mind and I didn’t know if my opinion was swayed as I know for a fact Jane is a PITA. But I agree with the majority, there no good reason for her DC’s to not have paid a penny.

So why doesn't anyone call her out on it? Time, and time, and tie, again on here there are threads like this, or 'I didn't have any booze and had to pay a share' and so on. All it takes it for someone to say 'actually I think it would be more fair if xxxx'.

Did the cost of the cake and decorations come to more than what your share would've been (and to make it accurate, your share of the cost of the meal plus cake and decorations divided by the adults attending)? Otherwise why didn't you also contribute to the meal? That's unfair too.

Yes, came to more than even a 1/4 share

IMO it’s because they only do it to people they know won’t say no. Shy younger people is a good example. Putting them in an awkward position.

Did Bob pay? She's a right CF!

One of the adults should have jumped in and helped the “shy awkward children” who were being manipulated by their CF relative.
Easier with hindsight. You’ll know next time.