Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that someone thought I was 16 years old when I'm in my late 20s

116 replies

bluebirdsz · 24/07/2022 18:10

I'm 28 and today I was at the hairdressers and the hair stylist asked me how old I was, when I said I was 28 she looked surprised and said she guessed I was 16 or 17. She then went onto say she expected me to be a lot younger as I'm very quiet and shy.

It's made me feel quite down to be honest. I know I'm quiet and shy but it's making me worry that my colleagues and clients don't/won't take me seriously. I don't think I look 16/17, but I admit I can come across as somewhat innocent and naive but I'm not sure how to change that

OP posts:
larkstar · 25/07/2022 11:20

My daughter is 27 - a hospital doctor just finisher her F2 - she has to take her ID everywhere to supermarkets and bars - she has to put up with people on wards saying "excuse me lovie - can you find me one of the doctors?" - people always assume she's a nurse, a porter or admin - she's cool with it all though.

ItsDangerousInKingsmarkham · 25/07/2022 11:34

I'm a lawyer and once turned up at court early to speak to the Procurator Fiscal. After a confusing few minutes we realised we were talking at cross purposes as he thought I was the school kid there for work experience, not the lawyer for a large public body... Grin

OP the hairdresser sounds a bit like they put their foot in their mouth but I'm sure it wasn't a judgement on you as a person - some people are just quieter and more reserved and that's absolutely fine. Try not to overthink it.

Carrotzen · 25/07/2022 11:38

I used to get this up till I was about 25, got IDef for 15 films, not allowed to buy painkillers in tesco etc. now 2 years later and I barely get IDed in the pub! The pandemic must have aged me Grin

I did look young though, not so much features but actually how I dressed, hair, make up, awkward demeanour. I'm quite round faced and it just all made me look like an awkward 15Yr old. I'm glad I look older now, no one wants to be mistaken for a child.

And actually I am really shit at guessing ages, I honestly have no idea how old someone is between about 20 and 60. I can easily be 20 years out so I'm not sure why I assume everyone else is so good.

Chanel05 · 25/07/2022 11:40

My husband and I are 33 and parents to an almost 2 year old with another one on the way. We both always get asked for ID to go into pubs/ by alcohol and he even usually gets asked for ID to buy paracetamol. Couldn't care less!! I like to think that when we're in our 60s, we might only look like we're in our 40s!

Maireas · 25/07/2022 12:07

Paracetamol purchases get flagged up at the till automatically. I wouldn't take that as proof of eternal youth.

Eunorition · 25/07/2022 12:12

I think you'd have to be pretty thick to mistake a 28 year old for 16. You've basically had miserable encounter with a thicko and you're letting it get to you.

Assuming you don't still live with your parents and have some sort of job, I don't really see how you can be that 'innocent and naive' at 28 either. You must have lived life a bit, surely?

Just be more confident and a bit less worried about what dim people think.

x2boys · 25/07/2022 13:21

larkstar · 25/07/2022 11:20

My daughter is 27 - a hospital doctor just finisher her F2 - she has to take her ID everywhere to supermarkets and bars - she has to put up with people on wards saying "excuse me lovie - can you find me one of the doctors?" - people always assume she's a nurse, a porter or admin - she's cool with it all though.

I got that as a newly qualified nurse ,I think the general public just assume health care professionals are in their 30,s and 40,s not that I looked particularly young for my age ( I was 22/23) at the time

x2boys · 25/07/2022 13:24

larkstar · 25/07/2022 11:20

My daughter is 27 - a hospital doctor just finisher her F2 - she has to take her ID everywhere to supermarkets and bars - she has to put up with people on wards saying "excuse me lovie - can you find me one of the doctors?" - people always assume she's a nurse, a porter or admin - she's cool with it all though.

Yeah and people do make assumptions ,I used to work with a nurse we were both RMN,s who was Asian when he went to assess a patient in A&E ,someone assumed he was the taxi driver who had dropped the patient off!

x2boys · 25/07/2022 13:28

BogRollBOGOF · 25/07/2022 08:17

I indadvertently ended up with a child's bus fare at 29. Got on asked how much the single rate was, paid, puzzled over how cheap it was and realised why when I sat and looked at my ticket. Good job my bump wasn't showing yet!

6 months later in the hospital having given birth, the MW did a lot of double checking of my date of birth as she thought there'd been an error on the documents. Nice to look 10 years younger when swollen and yellow 😂

I had alcohol confiscated at the till at 37 as I didn't have my driving licence on me to prove that I was 25. ID checking normally involves a lot of frowning, looking confused and mental arithmatic at the unusual unexpected early 80s DOB.

Lots of casual conversations involve people looking confused when I mention my DCs ages or things like having bought the house over a decade ago.

The number of times I'd have colleagues come into my classroom full of y7s/y8s and call out "where is your teacher?" was irritiating because in some tougher classes it can undermine authority. Admittedly I am about the same build and proportion as an average y7, but there were some repeat offenders who didn't have the grace to be appologetic about their error (thus making it look like I wasn't doing my job properly) which were annoying.

Many of the mix-ups I've had over the years have been about looking 10-12 years younger. These days that might not bare up against close scruitiny but on casual first impressions it can be easily done.

I'm usually amused rather than offended. I'm only cheesed off when people insist that I'm wrong about myself and won't believe me.

Are you very new to the school do your colleagues not recognise you?

LieNoMore · 25/07/2022 14:19

I spent all of my 20s and into my 30s looking underage/ young. Couldn’t go anywhere or buy anything without being ID’d. Got kicked out of a nightclub when I was 28 because staff didn’t believe i was old enough despite being with my husband and a mother of 3!

Lost count of the amount of times someone would knock the door and ask to speak to my mum or dad!

Got mistaken of being my dcs sibling countless times, if I went out with my mum and the dcs they would assume she was their mum. Even as they got older and all ended up taller than me. I remember one time my eldest son and I were walking through town when he was a teen and someone he knew from school mistook me for his girlfriend! He was mortified!

im 47 now but can categorically state I definitely now look my age i caught up with myself mid to late 30s…..would give my right arm to look 10 years younger now!

Maireas · 25/07/2022 14:32

So, @LieNoMore - you were out with your teenage son, and a friend from his school believed you to be his girlfriend?
So, are you saying that you looked the same age as your teenage son?

Chipsahoy · 25/07/2022 14:50

Been happening to me for years. I was thought a teen mum many times. I got asked what uni I go to the other week. No one believes my teen can be mine. I’m 39. Poor dh looks older than he is. He’s been grey haired since he was 25. So he has had some funny looks before when he’s out with me. 😂

89redballoons · 25/07/2022 15:01

Are you sure it's that you're generally quiet and shy? Could it be that you don't like hairdresser small talk, and that your hairdresser is a very outgoing, chat-to-anyone type? Hairdressing does seem to attract people like that as it's seen as part of the job.

x2boys · 25/07/2022 15:03

Does everyone have a portrait of themselves in the attic 🤔
All these extremely youthful looking mumsnetters ,and very modest with it too.....

PeloAddict · 25/07/2022 15:08

x2boys · 25/07/2022 15:03

Does everyone have a portrait of themselves in the attic 🤔
All these extremely youthful looking mumsnetters ,and very modest with it too.....

No but I think my dad does
Someone once said "I've never seen anyone look young like people say 10 years younger"
She saw a pic of my dad and said "I take it back"
I mean he doesn't look like a child Grin but he's 72 and would pass for 60

Carrotzen · 25/07/2022 15:08

@Maireas I got refused sale for paracetmol when I was 25 because I didn't have ID. I got Ided several times not flagged up at the till which obviously happens.

But as I said this was more my dress/general demeanour I think, and I felt uncomfortable because of it and embarrassed. No eternal youth here

Maireas · 25/07/2022 15:12

Carrotzen · 25/07/2022 15:08

@Maireas I got refused sale for paracetmol when I was 25 because I didn't have ID. I got Ided several times not flagged up at the till which obviously happens.

But as I said this was more my dress/general demeanour I think, and I felt uncomfortable because of it and embarrassed. No eternal youth here

Paracetamol isn't age related completely, as I understand it. I buy mine from Boots and use those automatic tills. Each time paracetamol registers, there's a flag up to get the purchase verified by an assistant. Otherwise you can't proceed. The automatic till can't judge you.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 25/07/2022 15:17

I have never looked younger than I am. I got offered a discount for silver shoppers the other day.

Granted, I’m silver. Granted I looked ‘rough as Mrs vicarage’ as I’d just been at work for 15 hours. But I have a few years to go yet.

I might look 65 when I’m 80. And if someone thinks that in the future that I’ll be on here singing about it.

The likelihood is that I’ll probably compared to a 90 year old’s bawbag.

I won’t be singing about that.

compromisedrambaldifluid · 25/07/2022 15:18

It's making me laugh how some posters are trying to pull apart everyone's stories. None of this is stealth boast, it's a pain 😂. Hopefully we'll be grateful eventually. (I'd be happier with less crappy joints and an older face if anyone wants to swap?)

As if we'd put pictures up on mn! 😂

x2boys · 25/07/2022 15:25

compromisedrambaldifluid · 25/07/2022 15:18

It's making me laugh how some posters are trying to pull apart everyone's stories. None of this is stealth boast, it's a pain 😂. Hopefully we'll be grateful eventually. (I'd be happier with less crappy joints and an older face if anyone wants to swap?)

As if we'd put pictures up on mn! 😂

Yeah of course its not a stealth boasts or a pain, and it'd making me laugh that some people genuinely believe they look 10,15 ,20 years younger than they actually are 🤣

PeloAddict · 25/07/2022 15:29

@x2boys I don't but my dad and cousins grandad genuinely do
Cousins grandad is 95 and was bustling about clearing glasses at a funeral the other week. He's only just stopped driving Blush

I think that's different to being 30 and claiming you look 15 though!

Maireas · 25/07/2022 15:30

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 25/07/2022 15:17

I have never looked younger than I am. I got offered a discount for silver shoppers the other day.

Granted, I’m silver. Granted I looked ‘rough as Mrs vicarage’ as I’d just been at work for 15 hours. But I have a few years to go yet.

I might look 65 when I’m 80. And if someone thinks that in the future that I’ll be on here singing about it.

The likelihood is that I’ll probably compared to a 90 year old’s bawbag.

I won’t be singing about that.

😂😂😂
I think that people will revere your wisdom then, much as we do now, Sheldon. You should have taken the discount!

Carrotzen · 25/07/2022 15:31

Yes but were you IDed or refused sale on multiple occasions @Maireas . Because none of my friends did and it was fucking embarrassing.

Obviously it flags up because it's an age related product. Just as alcohol or energy drinks. You wouldn't get IDed if it wasn't. There's no legal limit but most places ask for 16 and over. Its not the automatic till judging its a physical person, I'm not thick and assuming an automatic automatic up means I'm being refused sale. I'm not sure what your not grasping

Anyway the point of my post was really just to be bit lighthearted as it doesn't happen anymore, and hopefully reassure some posters that things do improve. It's relentless having to defend minor posts and I'm not sure why some posters feel the need to assume every poster is lying

x2boys · 25/07/2022 15:34

PeloAddict · 25/07/2022 15:29

@x2boys I don't but my dad and cousins grandad genuinely do
Cousins grandad is 95 and was bustling about clearing glasses at a funeral the other week. He's only just stopped driving Blush

I think that's different to being 30 and claiming you look 15 though!

I think as you get older it's more difficult to say how old someone is my dad is 80 and upto a couple of years ago he was cycling ,walking everywhere, he looked much better than my mum who has chronic health conditions and in permanent pain
So I get that ,but people in their 30,s and 40,s believing they look like a teenager nah.

PeloAddict · 25/07/2022 15:35

Some people are definitely hard to place.. my dad said the other say about my partner "he's one of those who could be 28 or 48" and I agreed with him

Swipe left for the next trending thread