To be upset that someone thought I was 16 years old when I'm in my late 20s

[bluebirdsz]

I'm 28 and today I was at the hairdressers and the hair stylist asked me how old I was, when I said I was 28 she looked surprised and said she guessed I was 16 or 17. She then went onto say she expected me to be a lot younger as I'm very quiet and shy.

It's made me feel quite down to be honest. I know I'm quiet and shy but it's making me worry that my colleagues and clients don't/won't take me seriously. I don't think I look 16/17, but I admit I can come across as somewhat innocent and naive but I'm not sure how to change that

I'm 29 and get this. Im pregnant with my 3rd child, so yes I do find it upsetting and it makes me very self conscious. I have found I have been taken less serious in work situations and life in general.

Now im approaching 30, i am reaching the point of acceptance and I know I will value having a 'baby face'- but no YANBU.

I was mistaken for a 15 year old and charged a child’s fare on the bus on the way to take professional exams when I was mid twenties. I remember the outrage I’m in my fifties now and hanker for those times. Don’t worry you will look your age and more at some points in your life. I looked young till I hit menopause, boy that was a shocker.

I was 25 when my parents were moving and I went to a few viewings with them one afternoon out of nosiness. One of them had the vendor doing the viewing. At one point he pointed out of a bedroom window to show how close the grammar school was, "so your daughter could go there for her GCSEs".

I totally get where you're coming from with feeling offended. It's not always a blessing.
When I had DCs 1&2, they were in SCBU for 3 weeks after an emergency section at 32 weeks. For the first week or so I felt really uncomfortable and found the nursing staff quite condescending. They would constantly speak to my parents instead of me. I was too exhausted to think anything of it until one day, an HCA asked me for gift ideas for her daughters 18th birthday. I replied something along the lines of 'for my 18th I got xyz....' The HCA just stared at me for a minute or so and said 'you're 18 already?' My DM said 'she's 22...' Next day, the nursing staff all bent over backwards to apologise to me, they thought I was 15-16. I did point out to the sister of the ward that this wasn't an excuse for the ignorant behaviour and the first few days of DCs life being even more stressful than usual.

I mean ... There are better reasons to be upset over something is all I'm saying.

She made a pretty big error and then scrambled for something to explain why!

Don't give it another thought op she's just one random woman don't let it play on your mind :)

Ignore it. Hairdressers chat a complete load of shite in my experience.

Stealth boast.

My sil is like you. Always looked younger and was upset about it for years - but also doesn't want her friends to know her actual age 🙄

Personally take it as a compliment, in 10/15 years time you will be more thankful than you are now.

My best friend also looks younger, even in her early 40's she still gets asked for ID. The only thing that bothers her now is what people think of her clearly late 40's husband holding hands with this 'child' 😂

@Aargghh - so none of the medical staff ever checked your notes?

Sure

Or the band around wrist when doing any meds.....or the white board, or the chi....🙄

Cue the flurry of patronising ‘you should be flattered, I don’t see what the problem is’ replies

This. I used to get that, so I grew a beard, which has been brilliant (except for when people spot the old photo on my work ID). Sadly that's presumably not an option for you OP.

Yanbu and it isn’t professional of her to say you’re quite and shy. They should keep conversations neutral, not comment on your age or personality.

@Kanaloa @Maireas it was the lady on reception not the actual optician at least. It was the optician my parents used forever, she was his wife. I have loads of siblings, I'm guessing she just assumed I was younger than my brother (who also probably looks young) and got it very wrong? It was an interesting trip anyway.

@Maximoose it is interesting, I only learned this about a year ago and suddenly everything made sense 😂

I'm very petite and a teacher. I wear XL kids size for my work wear - sports kit - to give you some idea of my size. I find that most of the children I teach are taller than me and I've taken children to sports fixtures and had staff of other schools genuinely question the children (in front of me) where the teacher is. It's now a bit of a running joke and the school children in particular are always shocked that I'm in my 30s, married and have children.

It's only really a problem for me when I interview elsewhere or attend something in formal wear as I look like a sixth form pupil 😂 I'm a bit of a bossy boots and have great relationships with the children I work with so I've never had problems being taken seriously at work despite my young appearance.

I used to get this when I was in my twenties too, I used to hate it with a passion. There was nothing I could do about it either, I just have one of those faces!

I'm now nearly 50 and most people that I meet are quite surprised when they find out my age so I would say just wait till you are older 😂

Ah, come on now. No-one in their 40s looks like a child.

@Maireas

I did ask on the last ‘I’m 56 but frequently mistaken for a primary schooler’ thread if any of these 45 year old preschoolers would be interested in sharing a picture of themselves since I’ve genuinely never seen anybody in their 30s/40s who looks like a child or teen but nobody did.

I also find it a bit odd how so many people are ‘often told’ how young they look. Unless you ask people to guess your age it’s unusual for it to come up in regular conversations because most people will simply presume the person standing at the head of all the children who isn’t wearing school uniform is the teacher while all the small people in school uniform are the children. I couldn’t imagine a situation where there’s a group of children and an adult at an event and another person looks around and asks dumbly ‘where’s the teacher?’

@Maireas I wasn't the patient, my DCs were. I didn't have a medical bracelet or any reason for them to view MY records.

I can understand why this feels irritating. I’m 28 and constantly get told by clients in my work that they think I look 18. It does get annoying because I feel that people, especially men, speak down to me and explain things as if to assume I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. It can feel very grating.
The most annoying comment is when people talk to me about world events or music etc then say ‘you wouldn’t know about this, you’re too young’ when I have plenty of knowledge about what they’re telling me.

I used to get chatting to a member of who used to be in the girl band, The Honeyz as live very close by. Told her I was a big fan of her music and she told me that how could I be as I was too young to even know the group she was in. She thought I was 18 or 19 when I was at the time about 32. People don't want to believe this happens but it does and always awkward and embarrassing. I have counless more embarrassing age related stories to tell also.

I don't even think I look 16, I wouldn't have been offended if someone thought I looked younger than I was. It was more that she said it was because of my personality, it makes me feel like I come across as really young and nervous, and makes me feel a bit pathetic to be honest...

Dh looked about 18 until he hit 30ish- I didn't - he was asked if I was his mum a few times - ouch!! Our DS is the same - he is 20 - looks about 15 and always has to carry ID - it's the genes on DH side of the family - they all reach a grand old age as well - mostly living fit and well into their 90's. I'm glad for them but my side of the family is not so blessed and reaching 70 is an achievement. Happy DS takes so much after his Dad. At least DH now has some grey hair in his 50's and looks a bit more weathered!

@bluebirdsz really do not think along those lines! I'm sure you're not pathetic - it takes a bit of balls to start a thread on here for a start. Put it out of your mind, be yourself and be a little bit glad you have youthful looks.