Mother in law trouble

[Icequeen122]

Hi I was just wanting others opinions on this to see if anyone thinks I’m wrong I don’t think I am so here goes..
my son has autism and only 8 years old one of the things he can struggle with is behaviour I am doing everything I can to help him with his, he had a bad day and wasn’t listening to anything and was just doing a lot of misbehaving.
she isn’t his biological grandmother either so I felt how she handled him was completely wrong and I wouldn’t of even let my own mother do what she did.
she thought it would be okay to shout at him repeatedly and called him stupid and a fucking idiot and told him that his younger brothers were more intelligent than him. I then started to tell her I think she needs to stop and she then started to shout at me and call me a fucking idiot and said that if he was her son she would lock him down a hall way for a week with nothing to do. so I told my partner that me and the children were leaving she then kept shouting at me so I said oh that’s clever isn’t it keep shouting infront of the children that’s going to upset them. She then said to my partner oh so cos she says so you all need to leave do you! I kept saying we’re leaving and that was that. She then shouted at my partner telling him to never bring that thing here again meaning me and I said don’t worry I won’t be coming back again I don’t want too and told her sue wasn’t welcome at my home either. My partner has said it was all my fault and I shouldn’t of said anything to her. I was defending my child I had every right to pull her didn’t I?

Good on you!

Quite frankly, I would think very poorly of anybody that could stand by and watch a vulnerable child and his mother verbally abused like that. Let alone a person who is that woman's partner.

I would try to get evidence in writing of what happened today.

Maybe message them (separately) saying that you hope you can smooth things over one day for the sake of your child but you are v upset about how she shouted and swore at your son...

Has he adopted him? If not then thankfully you can keep him and his mother away from your child.

(she) called him stupid and a fucking idiot and told him that his younger brothers were more intelligent than him

Im glad for your sons sake you've ended the relationship with a man who agrees with this about a child

@Tigofigo no he’s not adopted him so he will be having no contact with him ever again. Unfortunately I do have 3 other sons to him which I am going to fight for I don’t trust him or his mother to be near them

Are you married to this useless man?

@Aquamarine1029 no thank heavens we’re not

wow even after what she did

I absolutely agree with you.

I’m actually crying with anger

wow, she's quite something isn't she? I'm so glad you're cutting this bitch and her somewhat lacking offspring loose.

Honey, cry with relief. They've showed their true colours, the pair of them, and you get to get rid of them.

I would unblock her and reply. I'd say that the way she spoke to one of your dc, shouting, telling them they were [insert all details of the abuse] was disgraceful and not something you are willing to accept.

Then I'd wait in hope for a reply with more abuse directed at your dc or at least confirmation of her actions.

And I'd save the fuck out of the message to use as leverage for your ex having no unsupervised contact with the dc, to make sure she never sets eyes on them again.

You don't need a chat.

You need a separation

Cross post

Well done. That was the right thing to do

If anyone called my autistic ds a fucking idiot or stupid they would have been picking their front teeth up off the floor! She should count herself lucky that all you did was leave! Absolutely no way would she go anywhere near my kids ever again.

Keep the message as evidence. I would also consider unblocking her (but only if you know you won't be tempted to reply) to see if she will send anything else that will be good evidence in the future. But only do this if you know you won't be baited into replying.

Well done for blocking her.

She is lashing out at you because she's used to bullying people and getting away with it. She thinks if she carries on, you will have to back down so she can continue to do it. You are in the right. It is never OK to allow anyong to speak to your child how she did.

Thank you all so much for the support! Just nice to know that people agree with me and I’m not the bad person they always portray me to be. I can’t stop crying I’m literally shaking with anger and emotions. I can’t believe he’s actually trying to remove the children from me and them making out I’m unstable and mentally unwell I’m so scared because I do actually suffer with mental health and worried they will achieve it especially when it’s both of them against me

Omg this is shocking!!!!

Hope you can leave or get him to leave immediately? Don't be afraid and don't react emotionally if you can avoid it.

They both sound like proper fuckers!!!!!

Best of luck

How's your son after all this?

@saraclara very upset, refusing to talk or eat he’s extremely shaken thank you for asking

Send her lots of information about autism and subscribe her to a charity which deals with autism mailing list. Then leave her to digest it for however long it takes for you and DS to regroup and recover

The alarming thing is her grandson from her other son has actually also got autism so she knows how bad they can react to things such as this and still didn’t stop her from abusing him the way she did.

Also, I wonder if you can continue the conversation, for the sake of evidence. You'd have to be super calm of course, because anything you type will also be looked at. But if you can give her enough rope to hang herself, it world be useful. Simply
"MIL, you called my autistic son stupid and afucking idiott, told him that his younger brothers were more intelligent than him, and that if he was your son you would lock him down a hall way for a week. So I defended him".

Then let her rant away. She'll probably say that he's all that and more, and then you can block her and save it. But don't let her wind you up into saying anything more.