Inventing your own nickname

[OldClothes]

I know I'm probably unreasonable but here goes.

A young volunteer colleague of mine calls herself by her nickname and seems to want everyone to use it. It relates to her first name but it's not a common variant and is barely shorter than her actual name.

It's also very informal - the sort of thing someone might be called at school by their close friends, but most of us barely know her. AIBU to find this a tiny bit annoying?

I've lengthened hers from her given diminutive, via her given name and now I'm adding suffixes

Funny

I once knew a Nicola who went by Nix and a Victoria who went by Ria. I didn’t think too much of it. I’d just call her by the name she’s chosen. If it makes you feel silly then that’s a bit odd tbh

On a practical level, would it help the colleagues who are squeamish about it to decontextualise it (e.g., from knowing her original name is Rebecca). Just imagine her name really is Rebbers - maybe it's her mother's maiden name or something - and there's no alternative.

That said, I used to work with a Kristin who wanted to be called Kitten. We complied, but half the office naturally pronounced it "kih-ehn", so she ended up as Kit. Perhaps friendly people will eventually shorten Rebbers to Reb, or Rebs. Or Ree?

@AmandaMirandaPanda Maybe, it's worth a try.

It's incredibly rude to not use a persons chosen name, you don't need to like it. How rude would it be for her to use a cutesy NN fir yiu, because she finds your name dated & fuddy fuddy 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd expect older staff to have better manners than that tbh, you are the ones being ridiculous

😂

😂 I'll never be able to speak to any Rebecca again 😂

Rebbers is nauseating

Fine if you're on the same football team but not if you're a colleague

Just call her reb

Rebbers 😂 tbh I’d just go with it if that’s what she wants, a diminutive is different to a nickname and I think it’s far more normal to choose your own there. It’s a stupid name tho 😂

Rebbers does sound a bit ridiculous. Like the name of a criminal in a Dickens novel. Or a teenager going through a rebellious phase. But I do think she should be called whatever she wants and people just need to get with the programme.

It's very rude when people call someone by a name they don't go by. Like when they shorten someone's name without asking or add a 'y' sound at the end. I have known people with some very strange pet names and diminutives and I find that once you call them the name a few times, you get used to it and stop thinking about it. They become one with the name! Not always a good thing, but that's their gig I guess.

Squeamish and nauseating? How utterly melodramatic. It’s a shortened version of a name requested by a young volunteer. If that ‘nauseates’ you I imagine you have a very closed life or serious mental health problems.

Are you serious?
The name that this intellectual colossus has chosen to go by is Rebbers.

Rebbers ffs!

You can't expect anyone on this forum to believe that you wouldn't feel an absolute idiot being expected to refer to another human being - in public no less - in this ridiculous manner.

Just use her chosen name and judge her accordingly for thinking a such a silly one sounds better. It’s the British way.

I have a friend who gets called ‘Rebs’ or ‘Becks’ for Rebecca, but only by her husband and family. Nicknames like that are normally bestowed by friends and family and kind of evolve naturally, they aren’t typically something you can ask other people to call you. She’s ‘Becky’ at work and everywhere else. I think if someone asked me to call them Rebbers at work I’d try my best but I’d probably find myself addressing them by name as little as possible and I’d definitely be introducing them as ‘Rebecca’ in formal meetings.

At primary school I had a friend who was nicknamed ‘Maz’ and I remember she tried to use it in class once, and the teacher explained that names like that are for your friends to use but not for the classroom. I don’t know exactly what makes some shortened names acceptable and some feel too informal but there’s a definite difference!

I knew a Christopher who went by 'Toffer' and it also made me feel weird! It felt like a random insult that a child had made up (like, 'Oi! Toffer!' or 'Stop being such a Toffer!'), I felt like I was being rude by saying it.

When DS1 was small he was known as Topher by my family because each time they shortened his name to Chris I would say 'topher. Then he became Chris at school.

It's her chosen name @MistyGreenAndBlue, using anything else is incredibly rude, whether you like her choice or not. If I was managing a team who refused to address another team member by their chosen name & bullied & bitched like this, I'd be hauling them in to my office for a chat & a warning about bullying. I'd be mentally logging their attitude too & they'd be out the door at the first chance

Get on board and have some fun with it, “Hey Rebbers, Reb-reb, good ‘ol Rebberoo, the Rebster, Chief Rebbi Jonathan Sacks” etc. etc.

Then you wouldn't be doing her any favours. Rebbers is the kind of name teenagers think sounds cool because they're, you know, idiots.
It would be far kinder in the long run not to let her get saddled with it as she gets older. No one is suggesting any 'bitching' or 'bullying' either.

Not being comfortable using a daft nickname for s relative stranger in a work setting is not bullying ffs.

I'm sorry - I just can't stop laughing at "Spermy"

Whereas calling me a prick is so kind and polite. 😂

Whereas calling me a prick is so kind and polite. 😂

& you really thought it was intended to be polite 😂

🤣🤣

I knew a Daphne who liked to be called Daffers, so I could probably get used to Rebbers.