Inventing your own nickname

[OldClothes]

I know I'm probably unreasonable but here goes.

A young volunteer colleague of mine calls herself by her nickname and seems to want everyone to use it. It relates to her first name but it's not a common variant and is barely shorter than her actual name.

It's also very informal - the sort of thing someone might be called at school by their close friends, but most of us barely know her. AIBU to find this a tiny bit annoying?

For the exact reason the OP said: it sounds completely juvenile.

I guess it's a matter of opinion.

For the exact reason the OP said: it sounds completely juvenile.

But that's her business. Also, she's a volunteer?

Rebbers 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ummmm... no.

I opened the thread expecting to disagree with you as I thought you meant a normal shortening of a name. Someone can't expect people in a professional environment to use a nickname they might use with friends but sounds like a joke and overfamiliar.

What makes you think she's invented her own nickname?
Is it not more likely that's what her friends and family have called her for years?

Or has she told you she decided it herself for the workplace?

Yes, it's a fucking stupid name though.

Maybe tell her that in the workplace normal diminutives are appropriate but nicknames are not.

Also opened this thread expecting to complete disagree with you. Assumed it might be a "foreign" (for want of a better word) name. Having read the thread, I think I'm on the fence.
I think I'd struggle to use "Dazza" in a formal setting if the original name was Darrel etc. But if it was as nickname Dazleodohgif (completely made that up, obviously, I wouldn't struggle so much at all). I think it is totally context dependent?
Molza short for Molly would feel silly in a professional capacity but Molza short Molzarina (again, totally just made it up) would feel fine. Anyone else get me?

@polka6 Yes, kind of.

But so are Becca, Becky and Bec.

They really aren’t

I get what you mean OP. I once knew a Jennifer who didn’t go by Jen, or Jenny

she was known as

Niffer.

🤣

🤣

In your opinion. In my opinion (which counts just as much as yours btw), they are no more 'mature' than 'Rebbers'. In fact I'd say Becky sounds babyish.

My name is Rebecca btw.

YANBU OP. You're in the workplace and can't be talking to people like you're 8 year olds in the playground. 'Rebbers' needs to realise some names are for friends and family.

It's not at all like a common shortening. People have been Mandy and Phil in the workplace for decades.

She sounds immature.

No way would I be using this. Nicknames are for the playground and the pub, not the workplace.

There’s a girl where I work who some of my
colleagues jokingly gave a nickname, and it stuck. I can’t bring myself to use it. Someone actually made a point of asking why I didn’t, as if I was being a ‘spoilsport’ somehow. I just said I don’t do nicknames (and studiously ignored any attempts to give me one).

Thanks Eunorition.

That’s her choice, that’s what I’d call her. She’s not seeking your approval but stating her preference. Your opinion isn’t required. 🤷‍♀️

😂 love it

It's weird to give yourself a nickname and expect others to use it. That's not what a nickname is. What 'rebbers', 'becky', 'bec' and even the questionable 'niffer' are, are just shortened/adjusted names. I would use them if I absolutely had to but it's quite possible that I'd just avoid using any name.

Nicknames are 'awarded' and they're generally given based on an amusing circummstance. Not something you pick for yourself; you really can't pick one for yourself because, what's the point? It means nothing to other people so they generally won't use it. Really bad form to insist on the use of a nickname that you haven't been given. Short form of names, meh. Not the same thing.

I'm not a fan of policing acceptable names, especially as schools no longer care, my DD has a formal name, think Geraldine/Josephina but everyone, school included, use her nn think Lily/Esme. (Before you ask this wasn't planned we had planned to use a diminutive of her given name) but I do agree Rebbers and Dazzer are possibly pushing it too much, Reb and Daz would be fine.
However I think ultimately as a pp says it is a 'you problem' (@TeaStory do you have teens, it is such a teen saying where I am at the moment, it made me smile reading it) and you should call her by what she wishes, especially as most workplaces fall over themselves to use the correct pronouns, so feels particularly unreasonable not to use her chosen name.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe did you got to Mallory Towers?

The idea or nn being awarded and bad form to ask to be called something you prefer is just so old fashioned.

Or Bekki, Bekkiiiie etc 😂😂

No, but I would have liked to.

Nicknames are NOT the same as shortened names which have been used throughout the thread as examples of nicknames; they're not. You can call yourself whatever you like and if it's a short-form of your name, most people will follow suit and call you that.

Nickname example would be friends calling another (short) friend, 'Stretch' or something like that. Or picking out the first letters of a full name as it makes a word. It's not a shortened name, it's something different that is down to circumstance - and it's not something you give yourself, that's the point.

This.

Honestly, I inwardly roll my eyes at so many names that you see on the baby names threads or that I hear through my work (I have to use databases which include hundreds of thousands of names and am often searching for someone not instantly findable because it turns out the parents decided to go for a Yooneek spelling) but that is as far as it goes inwardly rolling my eyes. If an adult says "My name is Rebbers" then that is what I would call them, even if I had a little inward roll of eyes. It is just manners.
Maybe it is because I come across so many names I've never heard of before, that I really wouldn't even register that some people might think Rebbers was strange.

I would use the shortening as that is what she goes by, its different to a random unrelated nickname.

I know lots of people who go by slightly quirky shortenings - Mimi (Mildred), YaYa (Anya), Mondy (Raymond) and Redder (Frederick)
But they are based on the name like Rebbers is.
Unlike random nicknames of people I know like Flaps, Horse, Playdoh and Tripey which are definitely just for friends and not appropriate for some workplaces.

Lying

Would you have called her Bill?