Blonde hair dye that doesn't damage hair - for 12 year old)

[XelaM]

My 12-year-old daughter has very long (waist-length) wavy light-brown hair and is obsessed with wanting to dye it blonde. I'm really worried she is going to damage her hair, as I did when I was younger (not with dye though). Are there any products out there that could lighten her hair but won't damage/burn it? It's ok if it's just temporary for the summer. I know that it's difficult to get blonde hair without bleaching it, especially if you start off with darker hair, but hers isn't really dark - it's on the lighter side of brown.

Honestly? No. If you lighten hair then you strip some of the pigment out of it. How much you damage the hair will depend on what you use but it isn't possible to strip colour out of hair without damaging it (even the sun will damage hair).

A hairdresser will do a better (less damaging) job of dyeing it but will cost quite a bit more (but worth it - a bad dye job is a terrible thing).

It won’t work.

There is no such thing as 'blonde hair dye' that will make hair a lighter blonde. You can only use bleach/peroxide. If your hair is ALREADY blondish, you can dye it an ash blonde, or silver blonde, or mousy blonde, but trying to DYE darker hair blonde is not possible, you can only use bleach and it WILL damage her hair.

Not being funny but no WAY would I have been allowing this when my daughters were 12 years old.

Agree with PP. The only advice I’d have is to get it done at a salon to minimise the damage that could potentially be done by doing a poor job at home and subsequent corrections.

My dd was really nagging about getting highlights -
she spoke to a hairdresser colourist specialist - me present of course - who told her there was no way the colourist would do this on a young teen as it would be too damaging

Just tell her no. A 12 year old child shouldn't colouring their hair.

Agree with PPs about the damage aspect, there's no way to avoid that. But how about Balayage or Babylights instead? That way it's not all the hair that will be bleached, just some of it.

Definitely best to get it done in a salon either way. They can also advise on hair care products to keep it healthy.

No, I don't think so. If you're stripping pigment out in any form it's technically 'damaging'. Personally, I wouldn't let her do it at 12. She doesn't need to 'dye' it, she just needs to bleach it to the appropriate shade, but to do that neatly, accurately and without damaging on hair so long would be a real challenge. And having it done at the hairdresser would be rather expensive I imagine! Best to wait till she's older and can make a more solid decision about whether she wants to accept the damage that will happen - cause it's going to happen when you bleach hair - or whether she'd rather stay natural and maintain her hair as is.
(I'm not against dying hair as a child - I did! But at an older age.)

I agree with all of you. It appears some of her friends have got highlights and one friend regularly dyes a few strands red, which is how this discussion/begging/pleading/nagging came about. She has very pretty hair and I am terrified she is going to ruin it, as that happened to me when I was young and stupid.

Op same situation here! My daughter is 12 and having highlights for the first time tomorrow. Loads of her friends have had them done and to be fair they all look lovely.

Ohh you're braver than me! Are you getting it done at a salon?

Bleach will always damage hair but as hers isn’t dark and she’s never done anything to it, it won’t be “ruined”. Let her get some highlights at a salon and go gradually from there. They’ll trim the ends and I bet it will still look lovely and healthy.

The product you're looking for is "No".

When my daughter was younger than this she wanted highlights and I bought a kit complete with skull cap and did it myself. The results were really good and her hair was not damaged in any way at all. We only did it once though. No regrets at all

You shouldn’t be ‘terrified she’ll ruin it’. At that age if you say ‘no’ that should be the end of it

I wouldn’t be ‘terrified’ over her ruining her own hair - it is literally just hair, regardless of how pretty it is. And inevitably she will experiment with it as she gets older since that’s what teens often do!

But nor would I let a 12 year old bleach their hair in the same way I wouldn’t let them pierce their eyebrow. Nothing wrong with bleached hair or eyebrow piercings but they’re not for 12 year olds! I’d just say ‘no, you’re a bit young for bleaching your hair just yet. It’s a lot of upkeep and expense, plus it damages your hair and school wouldn’t like it. Maybe when you’re older and have your own job you can do it instead.’

Highlights are still bleach though? I thought salons weren't allowed to use bleach/colour on under 16's for insurance reasons?

@XelaM yep definitely at a salon. I won't risk it another way

Meh, at that age I was spraying my hair with Sun-in on a regular basis, as were lots of my friends. I still have really good hair - you can’t ‘ruin’ it as it’ll be replaced with new hair once it grows out! There is a similar product in tesco now (in a yellow & black bottle, can’t remember what it’s called) which does the same thing but I’d imagine is less harsh than sun-in which was mega-bleach!

Too young

The world doesn't revolve around how people look

It also costs money & time

Look at the posts of people saying they are fed up of dyeing their hair in their 40s, 50s

I thought salons couldn’t do under 16s now? I’d not be doing it myself so can’t you just say that?

I was the same as your daughter and my Mum let me dye it. I’ve been doing it ever since and my hair is still totally fine (mid 40s), I just condition it very well.

That said, I’m not sure what I’d say if my daughter wants to do the same!

And what happens in 6 weeks when it's grown out and looks shit?
Being blonde is a luxury in terms of time and money. Has she budgeted her pocket money for this ongoing expense?
Once you start colouring your hair, you're on the merry-go-round.

12? ! ? Just get her to wait until she's paying for her own haircuts.

It doesn't exist. You can try and combat bleach with olaplex but at the end of the day you need bleach to go blonde and bleach is damaging.

Can she wear some blonde hair extensions so she's got blonde under layers and brown over layers. Like a reverse 00's Christina aguilera?