Blonde hair dye that doesn't damage hair - for 12 year old)

[XelaM]

My 12-year-old daughter has very long (waist-length) wavy light-brown hair and is obsessed with wanting to dye it blonde. I'm really worried she is going to damage her hair, as I did when I was younger (not with dye though). Are there any products out there that could lighten her hair but won't damage/burn it? It's ok if it's just temporary for the summer. I know that it's difficult to get blonde hair without bleaching it, especially if you start off with darker hair, but hers isn't really dark - it's on the lighter side of brown.

I've used the John Freida lightening spray on my mousy brown hair a few times recently and it's given me a subtle lighter highlights effect that looks good without any visible damage. I think it's a good compromise.

Salons are not allowed to do hair colouring on under 16s.

We asked when dd was 15, but salons are not covered under insurance.

I would let her get some subtle highlights. It won't damage the hair, especially if you get a repairing shampoo like Kerastase or Olaplex.

Would she be happy with a colour rather than blonde? Some of hair chalks/wax are fab

That's what I thought. Not under 16.

Salons are not allowed to do hair colouring on under 16s.

That hasn't been the case at any salon I've ever been to

No you have to bleach your hair to make it more blonde however a once off won't harm and to be honest after 30 years of all sorts including sun in and home jobs my hair isn't actually that damaged. If it's being down professionally from
The start it will be fine

No.
Dd has her hair dipped, so the last few inches are a bright color.
It can be easily cut off if it gets damaged.
She goes to a salon but we are in US.

Highlights at 12? Is this a thing???

I've name changed for privacy, but a few weeks ago I asked the hairdresser if my 14 year old would be able to have a few subtle highlights (she was blonde and it's growing darker). The hairdresser said they're not allowed to do it for under 16s.

Probably sensible really (and I was glad if the delay), but I said that I was surprised as we knew of other girls DDs age who have highlighted or dyed hair. Hairdresser said the salons aren't supposed to be doing it, so they mustn't be checking age, or they're doing a diy job at home.

I'm 42 and have been dying my hair blonde since age 12. At least dc are doing it properly these days 😆

I couldn’t get my daughter’s hair done when she was 14 - unless I had lied about her she. Every single one asked if she was 16.

Going blonde strips the colour. It's permanent.

My Dd is the same age and I’d be more concerned about the cost for such things!! It costs over £100 pounds to have my hair highlighted in the salon. I’m not paying that for a 12 year old!
Temporary Fun colours would be more ok.

What about that spray in stuff that 'reacts with the sun to lighten hair'? The Instagram algorithm seems to be obsessed with me trying this product so I see it everywhere

I have naturally dark blonde/light brown hair and I do my own highlights by using a box dye that is a lighter shade of blonde. It lifts my already light hair a few shades and isn’t anywhere near as damaging as bleach. I get compliments regularly on my ‘natural’ blonde hair. It takes some practice, but every few months I give it a little touch-up. I have lighter pieces around my face and on what someone on Youtube called my ‘T-bar’, which is around the face and selected strands on the crown of the head where the sun would hit. The best part is that since it only lightens a few shades, it really looks like the sun did it and there isn’t a line of re growth. This would only work on someone with light brown/dark blonde hair, but it sounds like your daughter is that colour. I use a Garnier Olia shade of lighter blonde for this. The key is don’t do big chunks, separate out small strands concentrating around her face and taking the colour to the ends. You can always add more later.

This is actually what my ex-SIL suggested and she's a hairdresser, but refused to do daughter's highlights. She said clip-on extensions.

Thank you all so much for al the suggestions. I will definitely look into them.

And I completely agree with some of the negative reactions. My initial reaction was "no.

I'd take the attitude that its her hair on her head and you can't dictate what way SHE wants to have it.

Just tell her no.

I mean in theory yes but in reality we all dictate what our kids can and can’t do with their appearance don’t we? We don’t allow them to pierce their faces or wear a bikini to school despite the fact that it’s ‘their body and they can do what they want.’

And let’s be honest, when you’re 12 years old and want an expensive hairstyle that needs regular maintenance mum does get to dictate which way you have your hair.

Exactly this.

Really? The Tony and Guy salon I’ve been going to for twenty years wouldn’t bleach my DDs hair until she was 18.
I did her hair for her during lockdown (so 16+) with Bleach London Plex Bleach, very gentle (as gentle as bleach can be) and she looked after it for all the months that we couldn’t get an appointment with olaplex. Her hair has remained in good condition. In fact, in all honesty, I’d say the home bleaching I did with Bleach London left her hair in better condition than now she’s going to the salon. The only reason I didn’t continue is it takes hours and I rarely have the time now. Having said that, I still wouldn’t have done it when she was 12.

It's a myth that lightening hair require bleach. Highlights are often peroxide not bleach and a good stylist will relies on doing these well without bleach or toner (which is applied to all hair to lift and unnecessary with the right colour).

PPs suggestion of balayage is a good compromise if you don't want anything on her roots, but the concept of damaging her hair forever is rubbish. At 12 with shoulder length hair she'll have an entirely new head of hair by 16!

That’s fine, if she’s paying for it.
She’s not, presumably, so she can do the things her mother is comfortable with.

Klorane camomile shampoo makes a real difference to this colour of hair and I'd go for these sort of options rather than dye.
She's very young for a high maintenance hair style.