Blonde hair dye that doesn't damage hair - for 12 year old)

[XelaM]

My 12-year-old daughter has very long (waist-length) wavy light-brown hair and is obsessed with wanting to dye it blonde. I'm really worried she is going to damage her hair, as I did when I was younger (not with dye though). Are there any products out there that could lighten her hair but won't damage/burn it? It's ok if it's just temporary for the summer. I know that it's difficult to get blonde hair without bleaching it, especially if you start off with darker hair, but hers isn't really dark - it's on the lighter side of brown.

If she wants it, I'd let her have it. It's HER hair. She wants to develop her own look and identity. It's hardly a tattoo. I agree that I would direct her towards highlights or balayage so there is less maintenance and it can grow out more naturally.

My DD is 13.5 and dyes her hair black. It's only hair, you can cut it and restart

If you’re lightening hair in any way you’re damaging it. DD has peekaboo blonde underneath, some of her friends have money pieces. I did it, she knows she has to have strands tests etc and its a faff and her hair hasn’t been compromised but she knew it was a real risk. I used wella bleach and developer. It does look lovely. Some others have faffed around with box dye and its not turned out great.

Agree with others though, if your instinct says no than go with that. You’ve got to consider the fall out if she hates it, if it goes wrong etc if she wants to dye it back to her old colour and can’t and so on.

Think of her skin more than her hair.

?

Superdrug do a wash-in:wash-out colour range (like the old Wella sachets). Have a look in there for non permanent options.

I too tried Sun-In spray as a teen. Not sure it had much effect.

If done incorrectly, especially at home, the scalp and skin can be damaged. I remember seeing in the papers a lady who had burns all over her scalp, hair falling off and everything. And I believe she’d had it done at a hairdressers.

And a noooooooo to getting the Bank of Mum her on the Kerastase/Olaplex merry-go-round at twelve years old.

Ahh I see what you mean. Yes, definitely the scalp is the most important bit, but her hair is so long it will take AGES to grow out to the same length if she wants to grow out the colour 😧

Any lightening causes damage, its unavoidable. It's just a question of how much damage.

With luck, if hair is currently strong, the first round of lightening probably wont cause visible damage & could look lovely.

Maintaining blonde though, especially on hair that long, becomes a battle to minimise damage.

And the grow-out from an all over blonde is not an easy look to carry off.

Wouldn't recommend starting down route.

Highlights or bayalage could be a compromise.

You could keep control of the % of the hair that is lightened & start out conservative, by using a home lightener jelly (John Frieda do one) to do a few subtle highlights. You may find salons won't do bleach/ permanent colour for a 12 year old - that is rather young tbh.

Always patch test & strand test first.

She’s far too young - just tell her no- and that there’ll be serious consequences if she does it anyway.

Get her highlights or some Sun in type home highlights.
I let my 13yo dye her hair bright purple one summer so going from light brown to blonde is barely daring.

I guess I’m in the minority but I’d let her do it. Hair grows so even if it did damage it, you can cut it and it will grow out.

She might find that the sunlight will lighten it naturally. Mine was a similar colour and by the end of the summer, it would be practically white blonde.

Also heard that chamomile can help. The tea bags are pretty cheap and won't damage her hair. Just make it like tea, let it cool and rinse her hair with it.

It's a myth that lightening hair require bleach. Highlights are often peroxide not bleach

Hydrogen peroxide is a bleaching agent.

She might find that the sunlight will lighten it naturally. Mine was a similar colour and by the end of the summer, it would be practically white blonde.

Yes... if you want great natural looking highlights nature does it best. I wouldn't let a 12 yo do anything other than camomile shampoo.

Of course you can’t dye hair blonde temporarily, colour removal/ lightening is permanent. Baby lights/ very minimal highlights would be the best option as it would look like it had lightened in the sun.

The sun in spray things aren’t that effective and they dry hair out allot

You can’t get blonde without bleaching it. But does damage really matter? It’s hair and it grows back. You can always use treatments to minimise damage.

That’s because they have a lower % of bleaching agent compared to box or salon highlight treatments. So it’s more a way to highlight that is more gentle and works gradually. It shouldn’t dry out hair any more than swimming in a chlorinated pool would.

That's so weird. I got highlights at Toni & Guy when I was 14. It was never an issue!

My DD has medium- dark brown hair and wanted to colour it this summer. The hairdresser only agreed because she is a few weeks away from 16 and even then wouldn't do an all over colour ...and it was eye wateringly expensive!

I've noticed how much dryer and tanglier her hair is after colouring though

Hydrogen peroxide is the chemical name for bleach.

I was chatting with my hairdresser about this in the sun up to prom hair season. Hairdressers couldn’t colour under 16 but could use lightener, as allergy risks etc were much more minimal. Now (possibly since covid affecting allergies etc and insistence on strand tests) their insurances won’t cover lightener on under 16’s either.

Some may offer and will do a good job but they are taking a risk if something does go wrong.

She is 12...way too young to start bleaching her hair.

That's pretty much the answer.

You should be encouraging your kid to develop a healthy set-esteem which isn't based so much on how she looks and what her friends are doing.