To press ahead with this despite DH opposition

[DancingQueen2018]

We have a 5 bed house 2 doubles 3 singles, we’ve historically always kept the 2nd double as a guest room but it gets used maybe twice a year.

DD1 is now 12 and ideally needs a bigger room, first prize would be to reconfigure the entire upstairs but that isn’t an option right now, so I’m planning to move her into the spare room so she can have a desk for homework and just more room.

DH is vehemently opposed to this and thinks she should just carry on in the small single (despite having a high sleeper she nearly thumps her head on the ceiling in). Mainly it appears As it means getting rid of a perfectly serviceable wardrobe from the current spare room (we’ve had it 15?years, but so huge there’s no way of moving it). I’m going to pay for the whole thing and do all the work myself. Is this massively unreasonable of me???

I think you should definitely go ahead with the plan. The house needs to be used for the people who live in it.

i can’t imagine keeping my dd in a room that was too small whilst a bigger bedroom just sat empty. Ridiculous.

The only thing I’d say is, I was that eldest child always pushed out of her room for guests. I really didn’t like it as I hated having no “retreat” during the time guests were staying. And my room didn’t feel fully mine- I hadn’t asked for the biggest room either and didn’t like sleeping in a double bed which took up a lot of the floor space.

So I might be thinking of any other plans worked for guests, such as the double sofa bed.

@ThinWomansBrain hahaha!
@DancingQueen2018 just go for it. It’s only a wardrobe. DD can’t stay in that situation forever. She’ll need to move at some point.
And please take no notice of @underneaththeash. They seem to be on a mission this eve to let us all know how tedious we are.

1. guests could be accommodated in the single
2. guests can stay in a hotel

kids need a desk when they get older.

How many children do you have?

Could you and dh move in with the hallowed enormous wardrobe so he can enjoy it every day? Leaving your room for dd.

Of course your daughter should have the spare room - keeping a large room empty 362 days of the year is ridiculous.
I had the same situation with a large, expensive wardrobe after our children left home. Husband kept going on about how much it cost ( I think we bought it 16 - 17 years ago ) but it was completely redundant to our needs.
After a bit of work I found a charity ( I'm in Australia) that collects good quality furniture for rental housing for people in need. We had to wait three months for it to be taken away but I organised it all and in the end he was happy to see it go and that it would be used by people in need.

Dd1 into double, dd2 into the high sleeper, wardrobe into a single with aid of man with van or removal firm, desk in 5th single for study space. Maybe?

Why on earth do you need a double for guests? That's a luxury, not something to put ahead of your own daughters need for space.

We used to have a spare room with a double bed, then realised it was only actually being used about 3 weeks of every year in total as most guests only stayed 1-2 nights. So we got rid of the bed, and put in a sofa bed, desk and TV. Now in the daytime it's my office, and at night it's a second sitting room if someone wants to watch a different channel on TV. It's already getting a lot more use! You should try to make the most of the space you have instead of prioritising guests.

Of course she should have the room.

Isn’t it better it is fully occupied 365 days a year than just when the occasional guest stays?

Is DD not your husbands child? Because he is treating her like Harry Potter, sounds like a cupboard under the stairs. He is being a dick.

YABVU the wardrobe is older than DD and it needs more space.

Just providing the voice of your husband here for a different perspective...

... Go ahead with the switch.

Tell him you have a solution, the precious wardrobe can stay..

DD can have YOUR room, and you and DH will move into the spare, as you don't require a desk...

I predict he wont like that plan and may start to see sense.

If its a big solid antique double wardrobe, some of those are actually modular.. I had a super duper ugly one as a child, the top came off, then it split into three sections stood on a base that also came off.
Not that im suggesting the wardrobe goblins steal it when he is out or anything...

I have this exact issue other than we have a 3 bedroom house and only one DD who is 10. I would like her to move into the spare room from her awkward shaped single but DH is saying no. The main issue appears to be that the king size bed won’t fit in her single room (if we swapped over) and we would need to clear out some of our clothes from a large wardrobe in the spare room. We now only have a guest occasionally as MIL & FIL have both died. My argument is she is a permanent member of our family and her needs trump any occasional guest. I feel weird just going ahead against his wishes though and would be bloody annoyed if he was going ahead with something I was opposed to.

With regards to your DD having to give up her bedroom when there are guests, when I was a child and we had Grandparents staying, my parents gave up their double room, I was never asked to. Other visitors had to stay in a B&B or hotel.

men are weird.

I'd leave that Narnia to itself. The Turkish delight is dangerous.

YANBU on fictional and real grounds. Some men are just weirdly change averse. Who prioritises Christmas over their kids?

Won’t your DD need a wardrobe anyway? You could always paint it if needed.

Of course she should have the room, and a double bed too.

Are you sure the wardrobe is the reason? It just seems so ridiculous in the circumstances. Might there be something else going on? Does he not want to reconfigure even in four years when you've had a chance to save?

Do it. If the high sleeper is so high dd hits her head on the ceiling then she’s outgrown it. Use the room for the family who live there.
Theres also a risk with these high sleepers, God forbid, of smoke inhalation f there was ever a fire. Smoke rises These really high sleepers and triple bunks are too close to the ceiling, as told to me by a fireman last year, he was satisfied with ours as the bottom bunk is quite low to the floor hence the gap between ceiling and the top bunk being more than usual. Even so he still fitted a smoke alarm in the gc room.

Does the wardrobe lead somewhere else?

Maybe you should find out a bit more about it before getting rid of it. All the best.

Your dh is being ridiculous.
Your child soon to be teen needs more space that is readily available in a room you never use.
Is he lazy and can’t be bothered to help make the change happen?

I wouldn’t be moving teen out at Christmas book somewhere nearby well in advance and have your house the way you need it to suit the needs of your family 364 days a year.

It's not unreasonable to want to do it but I think it's unreasonable to do it despite your husband. After all, if a man came on here and said he was going to repurpose a bedroom, his wife was dead against it but he was doing it anyway, he'd get hammered. It's his house too (presumably). Just keep talking to him and if he's reasonable, you'll eventually reach a compromise.

What do you mean you are paying for it and you will save for the reconfigured layout in a few years time? Surely this is a shared cost and you are married so it’s shared money anyway?

Who are the important visitors ?