One thing they get wrong in films or TV dramas about your job

[KarlWrenbury]

In schools. That boyfriends (invariably ) could just turn up in classes
See. Bruce almighty. Yesterday. Cheaters.

They were replying to honeyrider who said Teachers normally arrive and leave the same time as pupils at any of the schools I drop and collect children.

Honeyrider, in turn, was replying to the Get into teaching post.

Not my job (be nice if it were!), but when drinking coffee from takeaway cups they never make it look like there's actually any coffee in it. It'll either be too hot to drink straightaway, or they'll carry four cups in a tray in one hand with ease and no worries about spilling them, or they'll be gesticulating with the cup that clearly has no weight to it.

I agree with all the other teacher pps - teachers don't arrive with all the pupils (this was my first thought - Waterloo Road, I'm looking at you!). Also, no-one would ever be wandering around in a school looking for their friend or family member without having had to be buzzed in, questioned by admin and actually let in for whatever spurious reason they've said, photographed, given a lanyard and told to wait in the entrance until break because said teacher is teaching/in assembly/on break duty.

I've never seen a bad representation of my own job but I'm guessing all the sneaking off to have sex on greys anatomy 😂

Police officers don't drive everywhere with blues & twos

Why do people still refer to "blues & twos"? Police cars in Britain haven't had two-tone sirens since the early nineteen-eighties.

Paramedics do not get deeply involved in their patient's life dramas. We are with them for about an hour, or so, we assess, patch up, provide a kind listening ear and move on.

We do not shout our handovers while running down a corridor. If the patient is very unwell, we go into a cubicle with them, the trauma/medical/stroke/a&e team is there waiting for us. They help us transfer the patient on to a hospital bed and then they all listen while we do a calm and professional handover. Someone either takes notes or types it. its all very calm.

if the patient is not that unwell, we stand in a corridor for hours and then hand over to a nurse.

Out of hospital cardiac arrests are very calm and controlled. No one yells. No one panics. We all know what we are doing. We do say "stand clear" before a shock, but we say it. We don't scream it.

If a patient's heart rhythm is returned to normal with a shock, they do not immediately sit up and have a chat with us. They are still gravely unwell and usually not breathing for themselves.

Male Paramedics are not all devastatingly handsome unfortunately.

University academic here. They never show the hundreds of bloody emails or the endless committees. Can't think why

That a pregnant woman will suddenly get their first contraction, shout "the baby's coming", her waters immediately break and then there's a blind panic to get to the hospital and they only just make it. Everyone who has had a baby knows this very rarely happens.

Ha! I always thought that too! It annoyed me so much in films.
First contraction I shouted to my husband “the baby’s coming! Call the hospital!”
He tried to argue with me but I was adamant and 10 minutes later I was in hospital and only just made it! 🤣🤣

That journalists have a budget that allows them to work on one story for more than a day. HAHAHAHA

That teachers sit in a staffroom and have lunch.

Unbalanced centrifuges, (the noise that would make) PCR/sequencing results in about 10 seconds.

Lab costs that flatter the figure, not the voluminous reality

I'm not a forensic scientist (I do work with DNA) but CSI used to really wind me up. Swanning around scenes contaminating everything, sometimes in white trousers and heels

As an nhs worker, I think this potrayal is entirely accurate...

no, now they just make the most disgusting ear-splitting wail...

Labs are full of fancy equipment but entirely devoid of any of the “clutter” necessary to prepare samples for said equipment. Apart from random flasks/bottles/beakers of unlabelled blue liquid that are dotted about the place for no apparent reason.

Choice of PPE is a random mix entirely unrelated to the situation and more likely to be based on the attractiveness and gender of the person wearing it - eg man in full hazmat suit, woman in half open lab coat so her cleavage is visible and with long hair hanging down around her face.

We watched Sherwood and my police officer DH was killing himself laughing at the idea that DCS St Clair would have ever been interviewing a suspect. We generally don’t watch police dramas as he says they are too inaccurate.

I was a teacher and the idea we turn up and leave as the bell rings, that affairs are had in the staff room, and that you just turn at the houses of students always made me laugh. Also, it’s mostly secondary teaching, primary teaching is not often shown.

Teachers don’t wander out during free periods and lunch breaks for leisurely cafe coffees and meals with friends!

Also if a teacher sees a kid in town, they always knows the kid‘s name, where they live and everything about their life (“Ah yes. Rhys Parker. Lives down by the railway track in one of the council houses. Not been the same since his brother got sent down for GBH in July last year”). In reality half the time I can’t remember the name of students I actually teach when I see them outside college (the memory seems to be massively context-dependent for some reason! Know who everyone is when they’re in the right place but move them and it’s gone!)

CCTV. That it’s always pointed where the crime happens or that we can zoom in on the reflection on a windscreen to see the registration we need. In reality some cameras pan around and just miss what happens or there’s a spider on the lens or someone has a system that overwrites after 5 days.

You’d be surprised how often this does happen in hospitals. I know countless colleagues who have had affairs at work, I can’t understand the appeal of it myself but it’s more common than you would think.

Sorry that was in reply to @autienotnaughty but seemed to have failed in my attempt to quote reply!

See also Broadchurch - that it's the job of crime victims to find and instruct the prosecuting barrister.

Not exactly related to my pre retirement role in the NHS but I had to roll my eyes at Corrie when Fiz and Tyrone were in a couples counselling session and someone knocks on the door (Phil) and the counsellor shouts out “ come in”. That should never happen, but of course, why stand in the way of a bit of drama! 🙄

Any chefs here. When I used to watch Corrie I was always amazed that after a day of cooking Marlon always had pristine and spotless whites on. Not a splash or a smear or a crease. Is that the reality?

They can't talk about it on account of the first rule

I work in hospital labs at one of the hospital's that has a reality TV show situated in a&e. The amount of times when watching "we are still waiting on results back from the lab", is ridiculous. The blood results will have been back in 30 minutes, it's just that your doctor hasn't bothered to look at them. And micro samples can take days to result as that's how culturing works. I once attended as a patient and after 6 hours they told me that I was delayed as the lab was running slow. The look on their faces when I told them they hadn't even taken a sample for the lab to process was priceless. Needless to say I try and avoid a&e.

@TheUnexpectedPickle

I had been taken into A and E by ambulance, a few days later I met the paramedic in the Supermarket, I was shocked he remembered me.

Teacher: That they leave the smart board switched on for the whole lesson but never seem to use it! All lessons consist of "Open your books at page x"