Am I even cut out for work..?!

[itsoneofthosethings]

I'm really struggling.
I'm 25 - been working in various roles in v serious companies since I've been 16, so never been out of work.

I truly feel as though I've never found something I LOVE and want to do.. and I really gets to me.

Every day I dread work. Not so much the work I do, but the people I work with. I struggle to assert myself and I am fully aware that I get walked all over. I'm sick of being told what to do, by colleagues at the same professional level in the company as me.

I'm sick of that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach every morning before I go to work, and the feeling of just wanting the ground to swallow me up / to escape when I'm there. I find I'm always daydreaming of 'what if I just left.. just walked out right now' which is worrying me.

I feel some kind of empowerment knowing that my fate is in my hands, if I wanted to leave and walk away I could. But of course I never would. I need the money to live!

Does anybody else feel this way?! I just want to do something I enjoy. I don't know what to do.. if I should look for a new job; considering I've got a very busy few months coming up with my wedding and honeymoon in September, so it would be a log of stress and upheaval. I just hate this feeling.

I've just come back home today after a lovely weeks holiday and maybe that's what's contributing to my depressive state. But each time I think about Monday, going back to work, I feel like I could cry 😢

I've been receiving emails all week whilst off with things I need to do when back next week, most being from a colleague in particular that appears to take great pleasure in telling me how to do my job; when they aren't even in my department. It's made me wobbly each time I've seen them pop up. I'm just feeling really fragile!

Anybody ever felt the same? Not sure what I'm asking here but I'm just fed up of feeling like I'm stuck in a hole of not really knowing what I want to do and and I want my career to go..

I want to give you a big hug because I’ve been in a very similar situation and know just how awful that pre Monday anxiety can be. It sounds like you actually don’t mind your role but the workplace culture is having a hugely negative impact on you. I stuck it out until I was at breaking point and then applied for other jobs out of desperation I took the first I was offered and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. The job wasn’t my dream job but the team was lovely and I still have friends from that job ten years later. Changing jobs helped me build up my confidence, I also started volunteering for something I felt passionately about and a year down the line felt so much better about everything. No job is worth this amount of stress - so if you can get a plan together - update your CV get a friend to check it and then apply apply apply. If there’s anything else you can do, just for you, like a hobby or voluntary role that makes you feel good about yourself then also invest time in that it’ll help with your confidence.

@Herejustforthisone

Fuck sake. This place

If people realised they can choose where to be, and acted on that, then they wouldn't get pissed off with where they were. That's the point I'm making, which you're grandly missing, in favour of uselessly cursing without even bothering to make a point. What was it you were actually trying to communicate? You didn't like my post? That's fine. But it was a valid point, and there's really no need to rile yourself up to the point of swearing.