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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parents dating children

102 replies

Thegroaninggurner · 22/07/2022 15:13

I often see posts on Facebook of parents saying they are going on a date with their children I find this absolutely cringeworthy does anyone else? To me you go on a date with a man or woman that you see as a partner not a child. Just saw one of daddy saying he's going on a date with his daughter really does make my skin crawl.

OP posts:
Herejustforthisone · 22/07/2022 16:11

It’s rank.

Decidualcast · 22/07/2022 16:20

Never seen it but urrgghhh.

TiaraBoo · 22/07/2022 16:24

Probably comes from saying “it’s a date”, lots of people say that when you mail down a date to do something with someone. Oh just checked dictionary - it can be a social or romantic appointment.

Macaroni46 · 22/07/2022 16:26

I agree OP, it's weird. But then I'm so old that I find the term 'Play Date' deeply annoying and unnecessary!

Michellebops · 22/07/2022 16:37

Ffs ott a bit here
Play dates
Mate dates
Parent/child dates

Where 2 individuals (or more) get to do something they want to and enjoying it.

Stop sexualising everything!

Cantthinkofausername01 · 22/07/2022 16:46

What a load of shite! People go on breakfast dates and lunch dates with their friends!

I seriously think your weird for even letting this enter your mind.

People cannot do anything these days

Thegroaninggurner · 22/07/2022 16:48

Maximoose · 22/07/2022 15:16

I go on dates with my daughter 🤷🏻‍♀️ And my friends. It’s just going out doing something together.

So why not just say I'm going out with my daughter or I'm going out with my friends?

OP posts:
CallOnMe · 22/07/2022 17:01

Colloquially the word "date" means literally a date as in a day on a calendar agreed to do something - so a date with a friend, a date with a child. Not linked intrinsically with romance.

Exactly this.

It was never linked to anything romantic until recently but lots of people will still say ‘it’s a date’ when arranging a meeting with someone with no romance involved.

I don’t say it but I couldn’t get worked up about it either.

luxxlisbon · 22/07/2022 17:02

Interesting no one tries to make a ‘play date’ creepy or inappropriate.

Kite22 · 22/07/2022 17:08

LittleBearPad · 22/07/2022 16:06

Social media bollocks that sooner or later will be monetised. See Christmas Eve boxes, matching pjs, Easter Trees and presents etc.

I agree

I agree OP, it's weird. But then I'm so old that I find the term 'Play Date' deeply annoying and unnecessary!

Yup, me too.
My kids "came (or went) round to play" , or "come round for tea after school"

ChilliPB · 22/07/2022 17:13

I couldn’t get worked up about this. I’ve got friends who’ll say ‘let’s get a coffee date in the diary’ etc. Date doesn’t have to equal romantic date, and language evolves and changes.

PixieAndProsecco · 22/07/2022 17:16

One definition of "date" is a "social or romantic engagement or arrangement".
Which is why people might say "it's a date" when they make plans, or the term "play date" comes from.

Someone else's lack of understand around the meaning of a word, or their inherently sexual view of the word, does not mean that the people who use the word "date" as described are wrong.

girlmom21 · 22/07/2022 17:16

Do you never say "it's a date" when someone suggests you do something together?

It literally means "we've agreed on that date".

If you think using a certain word when you're taking your child out for a nice mommy/daughter bonding meal is creepy I think you're the issue.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 22/07/2022 17:18

It's one to one time carved out for someone you love, not romancing necessarily

I wouldn't call it a date myself but it is no harm.

Thegroaninggurner · 22/07/2022 17:20

Sux2buthen · 22/07/2022 15:22

It's not so much linked to romance. Play date etc
It's nice, parents spending time with kids is hardly a bad thing

It's wonderful adults spending time with their children as they should be however that is exactly what it is spending time with them not dating them.

OP posts:
Maximoose · 22/07/2022 17:22

i just don’t get the angst. A date is a date. Then you attach whatever prefix to it.

lunch date
play date
romantic date
First date
dinner date
cinema date

etc.

Ihatethenewlook · 22/07/2022 17:39

It’s just a phrase. I don’t get why so many people on mn have to get so offended about things like this 🙄

Ihatethenewlook · 22/07/2022 17:40

Maximoose · 22/07/2022 17:22

i just don’t get the angst. A date is a date. Then you attach whatever prefix to it.

lunch date
play date
romantic date
First date
dinner date
cinema date

etc.

This. I took my 14yo on a dinner date last week 🤷🏼‍♀️

MassiveSalad22 · 22/07/2022 17:48

I actually messaged my friend yesterday ‘let’s get some dates in the diary for the summer’ and there’s no question I was referring to both play sessions for our kids and childfree coffees etc. I really think it’s no biggie 😄

Just10moreminutesplease · 22/07/2022 17:52

I’ve always used date to mean one on one time. Me and a friend would have a coffee date, or children might have a play date. It doesn’t feel inherently romantic to me?

AngelfishDecay · 22/07/2022 18:16

Just saw one of daddy saying he's going on a date with his daughter really does make my skin crawl.

Normal for Norfolk...

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 22/07/2022 18:32

Am not on facebook but that sounds just weird. But Woody Allen did it for real and Elon Musk's dad with his stepdaugher and have 2 children together which is just sooo wrong and is like dating your daughter as raised them since they were small.

Jolinar · 22/07/2022 18:36

I can't get worked up about this. I plan something with a friend and might say "it's a date". I organise play dates, I set a wedding date. I don't think it inferres romantic undertones.

42isthemeaning · 22/07/2022 18:39

EV117 · 22/07/2022 15:18

Meh. I think it’s kinda cute. A bit like when people slow dance with their little kids at a wedding. You don’t have to link these things with ‘romance’. That’s on you.

Say, what?!

WimbyAce · 22/07/2022 18:39

Prob something else that has come over from America and great for instagram 🙄
But Easter trees for the record have been around for donkeys, I remember my mum doing them when we were little (we did live overseas though).