To want to take my own children to school and pick up sometimes?

[Coolertoday]

I am a teacher, currently 3 days a week. Obviously this works well for school holidays but less so in term time.

I’d like to stay three days throughout my childrens time at primary school - this means until I am 52/53. I don’t imagine many promotions will be available to me after this.

So - is it unreasonable to want to stay part time, mainly so I can take them and pick them up a couple of days a week?

I’m a SAHM to primary children. I find it weird it’s the school run bit you mention as why you want to be PT. My NT child doesn’t particularly need me to do school run and I barely speak to her teacher outside of parents evening etc. Literally I think I’ve spoken to him less than a dozen times this year - I can’t imagine he’d want 30 parents all chatting to him when he’s trying to get on with work. Child is still KS1 so not upper end of primary either.

I’m a SAHM because my other child has special needs, and yes, I talk to his teacher and TA a lot at drop off, pick up and sometimes phone calls from school during day too - but that’s because of his SN and behaviour, it’s not something the parents of his NT friends are doing (and honestly I wish I wasn’t having to do it either).

Yes, it’s lovely I can be involved in their school life - but that’s more through going to assemblies, sports days, I volunteer on PTA etc. Far more lovely is that I can be there for them after school - we have a lot of flexibility about activities, play dates etc and they get more chilled out evenings. Plus we have nicer weekends because all the boring stuff gets done during the week.

If you can afford it, want to do it and it works for your family, why shouldn’t you be part time? It’s hardly unusual - and I know plenty of PT people in promoted roles in schools. But you might feel differently by the time your youngest is y4/5/6 if it’s just about the school run (here a y5/6 would probably be walking themselves) and that’s ok too.

I don't think its unreasonable, its simply a cost of weighing out what is most important to you and then if you are able to choosing the life that best support this!

I don't prioritise work because it isn't important to me (obviously i need to earn money, but i'd rather earn less and have flexibility and work life balance). I accept that I will not reach my full potential professionally and I am ok with that.

I'm not a teacher, but I worked part time when my DC were at primary school, and it was mainly so that I could do the school run and be there in the evenings for them some nights each week (otherwise they'd have been in wraparound care 5 days a week). The days off while they were at school were a bonus!

Why do you find it weird I’d want to walk to school with my children and not leave them in breakfast club?

Why do you find it weird I’d want to collect my own children on time and not have them in after school club?

Seriously … how is that ‘weird’?

I have to admit though, I don’t want to endure a decade of stress because it might mean I get more money when I’m well into my 60s. It’s a bit miserable.

If you're finding your job really stressful then tbh I'd be looking at a career change rather than putting up with 0.6 of stress!

Obviously at the end of the day it's up to you but I'd just advise looking at the longer term too. Im in my 50s and at the tail end of my career and tbh wouldn't want the stress of worrying about finances because of having underfunded my pension. I'm pretty fit and healthy but even so, I can feel myself getting tired more quickly and I know there'll come a point by my early 60s when I'll want to stop working. I also know, like many others in their 60s and even 70s, that I'll want to have a full and active life, eating out, holidays etc and not worrying about paying my heating bills. I do understand the dilemma, but from an 'oldies' perspective, don't underestimate what you'll feel like in later years.

Loads of people can't take their kids to school, not just teachers so YABU IMO.
Don't forget that a 3 day week will also have an effect on your pension, not just your current earnings.

Because that’s not what you said. You said you want to drop off and pick up so you can be involved in their school life and talk to their teacher - that’s what I find odd, because I don’t think simply doing the school run achieves that. Maybe your school operates differently but here it’s literally walk into playground, wave bye, leave again. Takes moments, often I don’t say anything to anybody besides good morning to whichever staff member is on the gate.

If you’d said you want to be PT because you didn’t want to use wrap around every day or so you can spend time with your child after school I would find that much more relatable - in fact that’s one reason why I am SAHM. I just find the focus on drop off/pick up/teacher chat, which is a matter of seconds a day, an unusual thing. Maybe I misunderstood your focus.

I know that @MrsOwainGlyndŵr but I’m not posting about other people, I’m posting about me, and I am a teacher.

There wouldn’t be any point in ‘I’m a teacher but if I was a nurse, firefighter, air hostess my dilemma would be the same’ would there?

@Theladybirdthatsaidboo i don’t want to just meet the teacher once a year at parents evening. I don’t think that’s weird, really.

I really don’t care about my pension tbh. Sorry - I know that’s not a MN attitude but I really don’t want to not live now because of the future. A career change would mean such a drop in salary that even if I did work FT and pay into the all important pension it would still be the same amount as on three days a week.

Of course. I guess all schools are very different- I wouldn’t be able to chat to the teacher here even if I wanted to at drop off (for a typical child, my child with SN has a TA I can talk to if necessary). They’re lining up a class and greeting children and going straight inside to begin learning, they don’t have time. At pick up they’re handing out head injury forms and matching children to parents from across the playground and talking to parents they want to talk to because of behaviour etc - they aren’t chatting unless there’s an actual reason. I speak to them at advertised opportunities- stay and plays, “get to know the teacher” meeting at the start of the year, termly parents evening etc. If yours works differently and it’ll make you feel more involved and like you know the teacher to pick up then you should do that.

You can do what u like. I guess the crucial factors are can you afford it and how will it impact your pension.

I think you’re taking me very literally @Theladybirdthatsaidboo and it’s unclear whether that level of only taking my post at face value is an attempt to be funny, to be provocative or a genuine misunderstanding. Either way, I don’t think there’s much to be gained by discussing it to this level of nit-picking.

The main thing I was wondering is if having two days off is over indulgent and it’s good to know most people don’t see it as such.

WTF?!!! A day you're NOT being paid to plan and mark. Absolutely no way! We do enough of that on work days/ evenings/ weekends.

OP, I worked 3 days teaching for 14 years (3 DC) and now work 4 days now they're older (2 teens and 10 yo) and I can assure you that those 2 days are taken up with so much. The physical/ mental/ admin aspects of running a house take up all of that time. 9-3 flies by when you're at home. It means the time you do have with your children, including weekends, are so much less stressful and you can focus on them.

Don't listen to those talking about promotion if you're not that way inclined. I've

I've been teaching 28 years and am very content being an indian- no chief wishes here. (Checkout the Peter Principle- it's so very prevalent in teaching).

It's not indulgent, it's what works for you and your family.

The only other thing to consider is your vulnerability if you separated. Many women in that position then find themselves facing financial issues.

I’ve no real interest in promotion, tbh thanks.

Can you afford it (currently and long term)? Are you happy working PT? Does it work for your family?

if the answer to all of those things is yes then why not?

I currently work 3 days and love the two off with my youngest one and the ability to pick the older one up from school and spent an extra few hours with him before bed.

I would completely continue with this but financially it will be difficult for us when it comes to retirement so once my youngest is in school I’ll up to 4 days. If I didn’t have to then I wouldn’t because I really enjoy the balance!

I'm a teacher and I've gone up to 4 days since my youngest has been at school full time. I find that's a good balance for me. But essentially, being contracted for 4 days means working basically full time hours (what's that saying in teaching? Part time means full time, and full time means all the time 🙄)

Genuine misunderstanding, no humour was intended - I wasn’t sure if you’d achieve what you want to achieve just through doing school runs. Apparently you will. All good. No offence meant.

If you and your dh are happy with it then do it. Doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.....as you've clearly pointed out several times!

I'm a sahm due to older kids SN. I have a primary yr3.

I'd say the yr3 does not need me / be that bothered about my presence for drop off... so if you need to drop anything it would be that.
Pick up is different/lovely, and it gives me time to catch up with him.

I think having some time in the day is useful so you can deal with teachers/swim club or whatever else when folks are around. It's been invaluable with sorting out SN dd however I assume you've not got that do deal with?

If you can afford it, and don't have any interest in career progression ( or could look at moving schools for it as I think some schools are better than others for PT staff), and your gusband as breadwinner is supportive, then I'd stick with PT!

I didn’t work ft as a teacher until at daughter was 11. It was great and I am very grateful for the opportunity. However pension was a massive problem and a huge factor in my decision to return ft.

I wouldnt do this OP, at this stage anyway, you can review as they get older

You have the holidays so you get plenty of quality time with your kids.

Chopping your salary by 40% just to speak to the teachers and to avoid breakfast / after school club does seem a bit drastic for me. I'd see how it goes and then see how much interaction you get / need from teachers.

At our school they don't like parents grabbing the teachers for a word at the end of the school day, as it's always so hectic for everyone, if you need to speak to them they like you to ring and set up a phone call (and they are fairly flexible about when). So if this is a big part of your thinking then I'd see how it goes first.

Also...it will be much easier to get your kids used to wraparound and change it rather than the other way round. My kids actually quite like it now, they like knowing children in different years, they like having breakfast with their friends etc. It works ok. Yes I'm sure they would probably rather be home earlier...but perhaps not at the expense of say the extra holiday that we have from both of us working the hours we do.

The part that I find tricky personally is homework, it's very tricky getting the time to do it and we tend to do it at weekends in one big block which probably isnt as good for learning as little and often. However again not an issue in the first couple of years of primary (and I imagine at the latter stages they will be able olton manage it themselves a bit better - it's the middle years that are harder)

I'm working three days for this exact reason, I love walking them to school and picking them up, it's often the time of the day they chat to me the most. It means they can bring friends home which they love. They can't do that on the nights I work. It also means we sometimes get homework done those days instead of the weekend. My days are filled with housework/washing and ironing/marking books/planning and running and as a result my evenings and weekends are free for family time or taking my kids to clubs/parties etc.

I think to be fair, no one has been flippant in their replies to you OP. We've just taken it at face value. You said your main reason for thinking 3 days was to do the school run and as people have pointed out, a lot of teachers really won't have time to be having daily playground chats. On the other hand, many teachers are very amenable to organising a meeting if you want to chat about things in between parents' evenings.

You also mentioned 'stress' so my response about a possible career change was picking up on that. No way would I do a job for 3 days if I found it that bad... I'd rather find a better job for 5 days.

Ultimately this is for you and your partner to discuss and come to a decision. If he's happy for you to work just 3 days and you are too, then fine. But I wouldn't go into it thinking it will automatically ensure you're super-involved in your childrens schooling because I think how you support your child and the school has very little to do with the school run. I expect there are some parents who don't work and can take their children to school every day who do sod-all to support their kids sadly! And likewise parents who aren't doing the school run who are very involved with their child's education. (And vice versa for each of those scenarios!)

And as pp have said, do consider the longer term too because part time hours means part time pension. None of us want to just think about the future, life's for living in the moment too, but there's a balance to be struck.

If you can afford to stay part time, then why not?

I work 4 days and am dreaming of when DS goes to school so I can have my day off to myself.