Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tips to deal with a manager from hell

59 replies

Queenie6655 · 18/07/2022 13:18

Hello all

Any tips please

She is the absolute worst

It's been 3 months now and it's to the point where she is a total bully

Take it and say nothing and just eventually leave

Or speak out?

So far I have done nothing wrong but hand one thing in late ( I warned her in advance it may be late)

So down today 😢😡😡😡

OP posts:
Original poster
Queenie6655 · 18/07/2022 13:20

Realistically she should not be getting to me

But I can't stop worrying about her

Wish I was more resilient 😢😢

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 18/07/2022 13:23

No advice except to leave as soon as practicable, no wage is worth a shit manager.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 18/07/2022 13:24

I'm gone

Wiring the draft email as we speak

Why are people like that

I tried so hard

Over and above and nothing is good enough

Only started the work recently

How do I tell her this in a polite way?

OP posts:
SQLserved · 18/07/2022 13:25

Poor you, shite managers have such a horrible impact Flowers

Get signed off work with stress, take some time to recover your self esteem and use the remaining time to search for a new job.

If you work for a big organisation, have a friendly HR team and have documented evidence, then consider raising a grievance.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 18/07/2022 13:26

Thank you

Tempted to leave and say nothing just that I am not able for her

Utterly awful

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 18/07/2022 13:26

It's really hard to maintain resilience if someone who is meant to back you, constantly undermines it.

SQLserved · 18/07/2022 13:27

In my experience, trying to resolve it never works and results in you being more damaged. There are plenty of nice employers out there. It’s not worth putting yourself through the hassle.

1VY · 18/07/2022 13:27

Get another job first and then leave. Unless jobs are easy to find in your area.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 18/07/2022 13:29

Yes a very kind recruiter called earlier

Just feel like shit

OP posts:
Original poster
Queenie6655 · 18/07/2022 14:00

Total bully

OP posts:
madmumofteens · 19/07/2022 21:43

I would leave as soon as possible wish I had 🥺 just know it's not you it's her and hold your head high and remind yourself at least you're not her 💐

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 19/07/2022 21:45

Thanks so much

The fcker has stopped my timesheets being approved

Low life

Hate her

Have work elsewhere lined up

People like this can crawl back in their caves 😣😣

OP posts:
madmumofteens · 19/07/2022 21:52

I hear you OP you've got this don't let her know she has got to you nasty bitch x

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 19/07/2022 21:54

Awful person

Only been there a few months
It started early on and then nit picking that this wasn't right and that was t right

She gave me no support and as a new employee I wasn't shown the correct way to send things and complete forms but she then has a go at me that I'm doing things wrong

I refuse to speak to her
So she is not signing my timesheets
Been there 2 months
So far not been paid

Fcker

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 19/07/2022 21:57

Being brutally honest: Leave.

I did. It was the best thing I ever did.

I was early 20’s and my manager was the most vindictive bully I’d ever come across. I didn’t have the balls to stand up for myself or challenge her. She made my life hell. Gave me awful anxiety. It wasn’t worth it.

No job on earth is worth being bullied for. No job is worth feeling miserable.

A lot of managers, CEOs and directors are bullies. Look at Parliament too! So many people at the top are awful, vile people. It’s a sad culture of this country.

OP, I really do wish you all the best. Because I’ve been there 💐

LuckyLil · 19/07/2022 22:01

Queenie6655 · 19/07/2022 21:54

Awful person

Only been there a few months
It started early on and then nit picking that this wasn't right and that was t right

She gave me no support and as a new employee I wasn't shown the correct way to send things and complete forms but she then has a go at me that I'm doing things wrong

I refuse to speak to her
So she is not signing my timesheets
Been there 2 months
So far not been paid

Fcker

Can't you report that to her superior?

SpaceGoatFarm · 19/07/2022 22:02

My last job had an awful work bully, she didnt do it with me for some reason. I left for different reasons but found out then she was on her last warning for basically abusing staff, so put in a complaints to higher if you can on leaving, and definitely do leave. Employers need to start learning the reason they 'cant get the staff' is because they treat them like cattle.

Temporaryname158 · 19/07/2022 22:15

You’ve been there 2 months and not got paid? Go above her and put in. A formal complaint for your pay.

BoilingHotWoman · 19/07/2022 22:21

What kind of set up is this that you haven’t been paid for 2 months because someone refuses to approve your timesheets?

Is there a HR department? Her boss? How was it able to get to two months? Are you freelance or employed?

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 19/07/2022 22:23

Freelance

I need to get someone to send the boss' detAils to me

She keeps moving the goal posts
'If you do xyz then I will approve your timesheets'

Shocking stuff really and a total mad woman

Never again will
I put myself through this

OP posts:
CanYouNotReadTheSign · 19/07/2022 22:27

Please get another job and leave. I've been there and i ended up ill with stress and anxiety. No job is worth dealing with a bully. I wish you the best.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 19/07/2022 22:29

Thanks so much

Have no choice but leave

Awful person

She speaks to me like a 5 year old

Just sad that this has happened but glad I can leave so quickly and get something elsewhere

OP posts:
BoilingHotWoman · 19/07/2022 22:41

Are you WFH then? Assume you’re off site if you don’t know who her boss is?

Call the company tomorrow and ask to speak to company head and ask for email address, to put it in writing ccing her in, tell them what’s been going on and that you are unable to continue working for them as they owe you 2 months money so far and their employee is refusing to approve timesheets. Do not do any more work at all until you’re paid and you have a response from them about her behaviour if there’s a chance they want you to stay.

No way would I let that go without causing a kerfuffle. If you’ve only been there for 3 months, take it off your CV if you’re concerned about repercussions.

Cherrysoup · 19/07/2022 22:43

Omg, 2 months and not been paid and she’s blackmailing you to ensure you get paid? Go to her line manager, HR and get advice from ACAS. How are you supposed to live when you aren’t being paid. Be brave, stand up for yourself and go nuts!

Nat6999 · 20/07/2022 00:09

Are you in a union? Stick it out & then go for constructive dismissal. I know it is awful, I had a manager like that, I asked to move departments & bugger me if they didn't move her as well. She made the first year of my marriage a living hell & ruined my pregnancy, when I was due to return to work I asked for a change of department.