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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get children christened

69 replies

SpinningAround1 · 18/07/2022 12:40

I am not religious in anyway, I don’t believe in god or anything else, I feel I would be taking the piss put of the priest if I get my children christened?

so many people do it but have no beliefs, why?

OP posts:
CraftyGin · 18/07/2022 12:41

You need to make promises on behalf of the children, so if you have no belief you cannot make these promises honestly.

The children can take themselves to baptism when they are older.

MinnieMountain · 18/07/2022 12:42

School places?
I’m also an atheist so it baffles me.

dementedpixie · 18/07/2022 12:42

I'm not christened and neither are my kids. Think dh is but isn't religious at all

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/07/2022 12:42

It would be taking the piss, you’re right. Don’t do it.

Mrsphilmiller · 18/07/2022 12:42

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. Why would you think otherwise?

Harridance · 18/07/2022 12:43

Yes it's a very odd practice

Bergamotte · 18/07/2022 12:43

I think it would be very weird if you DID get your children christened.

SerenadeOfTheSchoolRun · 18/07/2022 12:44

Because it’s traditional, because they have some spirituality or remnant of their religion and do it ‘just in case’. Because their families expect it. Because it feels right to mark the arrival of your child in some formal way.

Of course you are not being unreasonable but maybe you are being a bit judgy of other people’s choices.

RiderOfTheBlue · 18/07/2022 12:45

I suspect a lot of people do it just because it's the done thing, without thing whether it's appropriate for them. Or they're pressured to by older generations. Or they just want an excuse for a good party.

CointreauVersial · 18/07/2022 12:45

It never crossed my mind to have our DCs christened, for exactly those reasons.

Monoandsix · 18/07/2022 12:46

We didn't Christen our kids. I'm very much of the opinion they can pick their own faith as and when they're ready.

A lot of people do it due to family pressure and wanting a big party/piss up when the DC are born.

Other people do naming ceremonies. Then get slagged off on MN for appearing grabby. So you can't win.

IncompleteSenten · 18/07/2022 12:47

I think people see it as a tradition rather than religious.

Same reason people who aren't Christian celebrate Christmas (or who aren't pagans celebrating the winter festival Christians hijacked). It's traditional.

CatchingSocks · 18/07/2022 12:47

I would never; ever make that decision on behalf of my DC. They MUST be allowed to choose for themselves

Original poster
SpinningAround1 · 18/07/2022 12:48

I’m not judging at all! I’m just not religious, although I have got the impression that children tend to do far better at a catholic school? Would I really change everything I believe in for that reason?

OP posts:
UnimpeachableBravery · 18/07/2022 12:48

I think a lot of people do it because we don't really have any other relevant rites of passage.

Original poster
SpinningAround1 · 18/07/2022 12:49

Are catholic schools actually better or does a lot of it come down to parenting?

OP posts:
Wilkolampshade · 18/07/2022 12:50

No, didn't do mine and that was nearly 25 years ago. I was aware not doing so would avoid another grim, formal family occasion and that helped me to decide against it.

NeedMoMoney · 18/07/2022 12:52

I was christened when I was a baby (34 now) I asked my mum why, as she and my dad arn't religious in any shape or form, my mum's a total atheist, she just said it was what you did back then. I guess I'm a "just in case baby" 😄.

forlornlorna1 · 18/07/2022 12:54

It's an excuse for a big piss up for most of my family and to show off and keep up with the joneses on my dh side of the family

Transformatio · 18/07/2022 12:57

I’ve only known two couples who has their children christened when they’re not religious - no idea why they did it but I don’t think highly of them for other reasons…so in my sample of two - I would say it is for the attention! Definitely wasn’t to get their kids into catholic school. Maybe family pressure or wanted to host a family gathering with a reason are nicer explanations…

Wilkolampshade · 18/07/2022 12:58

I was brought up in the Catholic faith, mum Catholic, Dad militant atheist. Went to Catholic school (about 100 years ago).
There used to be some kind of idea that Catholic schools were better but I'm surprised if it's still the case.

Hoppinggreen · 18/07/2022 12:58

YWBU to do it.
I am not Christened and neither are the DC - we joke they burst into flames if they get too close to a church altar!
I have also refused to be a Godparent a couple of times as I wont promise to bring a child up "in God" or whatever you are supposed to say. I don't even go to Christenings these days, just the party afterwards
People do it without even thinking , usually tradition or an excuse for a party

KittyEmK · 18/07/2022 13:01

Party, presents..

Enko · 18/07/2022 13:03

I've voted YABU. Not because you are over not wanting to Christen your children thats your choice. However, your last comment about so many doing but have no belief.made me say YABU. As you don't know this. I know for a fact many claimed my children were christened foe tradition or because i felt i ought to. (Some have outright told me others I overheard saying it) I have a belief I simply chose to not share it with others as its not their business imo.

Christen your children or don't. Your choice. Don't judge others on what you presume to be their choice when it may not be.

Dixiechickonhols · 18/07/2022 13:06

People often do it for school reasons. Either primary or secondary. Or family pressure. If you aren’t religious at all and never attend church just don’t. You can do a naming ceremony if you want a party.
Many do get children done or suddenly go to church weekly yr 4 and 5 when facing option of dire secondary or outstanding religious one. Most of the children at religious school won’t be regular church goers.