To not get children christened

[SpinningAround1]

I am not religious in anyway, I don’t believe in god or anything else, I feel I would be taking the piss put of the priest if I get my children christened?

so many people do it but have no beliefs, why?

I'm not Christened, my kids aren't, DH doesn't know if he is or not!
I do understand the aspect of wanting to bring the family together to welcome a new arrival and promise support to them through their life, I think that is a good thing. I have been to some humanist naming ceremonies which were similar. We had a big family first birthday party which ticked some of those boxes.

Ds isn't christened, there were too many hoops to jump through before, you had to attend a blessing, then attend church for so many Sundays before you could book the christening. At the time we were having to cope with exh having a life changing diagnosis & I had severe pnd so ds was never done. He still got a place in a church school, we were just in the last category to get a place.

A good point about the just in case too. It used to be done for that reason/why tempt fate. My cousin was christened in hospital as a baby when really ill and my uncle/auntie weren’t religious.

I know 2 people who did it just for the presents/cash

I think Catholic schools used to be thought better as they generally had more discipline. They were also-if taught by nuns-thought to be better for girls as they were expected to do well.
I'd be surprised if either of those things are the case now. In any event, my local Catholic school seems to have all religions going so not sure they even exist any more except in name.

It obviously depends on individual schools. In RC school my friend works in most places went to RC siblings and rest to RC baptised.

Church schools in town I used to live in especially secondary are seen as much better option - results, ofsted and behaviour wise. They admit children whose parents were organised enough to get them baptsed/christened, go to church weekly for 2 years yr 4 and 5 and in case of c of e pay the £££ for bus pass as only c of e secondary is out of town. Children from chaotic families won’t get a place.

To answer for myself

Firstly, because having a connection to their Christian background from a cultural pov is important to me. So much European art, music, morality, governance is informed by Christian teaching. I want my kids to be familiar with that background.

Secondly, humans like celebrating milestones and imbuing events with a sense of gravitas and the church is really excellent at all that. We haven't replaced its influence with anything similar so people will return to it for that. If anyone interested, Philip Larkin's Church Going captures this beautifully. Having a ceremony was also important to our parents.

Do what's right for your family, other peoples choices shouldn't have much relevance to you.

I can’t think of anything that being Christened prevents you from doing, but there are things you can’t do if you’re not Christened: attend some schools, be a godparent, get married in some churches, be a vicar… Might as well go for it.

I’m Church of Scotland, not Catholic, but I wanted to reassure the PP who sounded horrified by infant baptism and who said that children should choose for themselves when adult.
Baptism confers no obligation on the baby. If it wants to become a Christian when older, it needs to voluntarily undergo a Confirmation ceremony.
The baptism is for the parents, who vow to bring up the child in a loving, Christian home and to explain the tenets of the faith to their child, so that it has all the information it needs to make its own decision later. In the C of S we don’t have Godparents as such either, the whole congregation vows to care for the child and support its journey to faith.

I went to a christening recently and felt awful for the vicar as nobody in the church seemed to pay any attention to what he was saying (there were two different families having their children christened).

It's just a bit of tradition. We didn't bother but I can see why people would do it flr the party or school application. It's not hurting anyone is it?

I know some atheists who got their kids christened for school places even though the only primaries around here are either C of E or nothing (anyone can go to any of the local schools) and the only religious high schools I know are catholic, which is very niche and why would you want your non-catholic kids to go there? 😵‍💫 makes no sense to me.

You could arrange a humanist or a friend to preside at a formal naming ceremony for your children. Print a certificate for them.
It would welcome them into your wider families and the community.
It depends on if you want to be more matter of fact or full on New Age woo.
ps. I am a Christian and get fed up with the 'just to be safe' nonsense.
Full respect and thanks to you for thinking about this.

I’m not christened and went to multiple C of E schools….. do people think you have to be christened to get in to these??

As soon as DS1 was born - and I mean during the phone call to tell PIL he was born - FIL said 'Right, we need to see about getting this child christened'. Ya what? A long, drawn out battle commenced with PIL almost in tears at our decision not to have him christened. DP nearly gave in because of the awful emotional blackmail, but we stuck to our guns. We are both atheists. DP's parents are Catholic and mine are mixed. We are in NI, so religion is a big thing and people do often have their children baptised even if they never darken the doorway of a church. It's seen as traditional. DP's parents thought we believed in God, but just didn't go to church, so it was a shock for them to discover the extent of our heathenism!! But we don't go around telling people we're atheists or discuss it unless we're asked.

Statistically, faith schools get better results regardless of what the faith is.

I christened my kids because I wanted to. They don’t have to say they have a religion, and they can change it if they want.

@MassiveSalad22
Well, my daughter attends a Catholic school in Madrid, there are Christian Orthodox kids, muslims, jewish kids...I understand the reasoning being that they rather their kids are brought up in an institution with some idea of transcendence than in one without.

I’m not christened and went to multiple C of E schools….. do people think you have to be christened to get in to these?

Depends on the school, plenty have it as criteria.

Myself and my husband are religious, we're active Christians who go to church every week, I'm the secretary and on the leadership team, dh often preaches (we're a tiny baptist church). We didnt have our children baptised.

They were dedicated and then could make the choice themselves about baptism. Both dd1 and ds decided to get baptised (full immersion) and dd2 doesn't believe at all, so she didn't. We didn't want to force it on them. Once they started high school they could choose whether to come on Sunday or not.

if you have no belief you cannot make these promises honestly

I can't find a way of reading that sentence that isn't insulting at best and insane at worst. Or possibly the other way round.

We did it because it would have broken MIL and FIL's hearts if we hadn't. They were utterly lovely people. My late husband believed in a god but didn't care fo organised religion, I'm an atheist. The DDs are also atheists now, through their own choice.

That's not my post but I'm trying to work out how it is insulting?
if someone with no religious beliefs makes promises in a church about raising their dc as a Christian, then they are obviously being dishonest - even if it's done for a well-meaning reason such as to please family.

No idea. If you're not religious then of course you shouldn't do it, it's fucking weird.