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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To drive 2 and a half hours with my kids on Monday and Tuesday?

84 replies

surreygirl1987 · 16/07/2022 20:20

Not sure what to do and would love to hear other people's opinions.

I graduate from my PhD on Tuesday. It's a huge deal to me and I've been dreaming of this day for years. But it's a 2 and a half hours drive away and of course, there'sthe weather warning. Original plan is to drive up on Monday, spend the day at a local children's attraction, stay in an airbnb overnight (log cabin sort of thing), attend graduation on the Tuesday, and then drive straight home. For context, kids are both preschoolers. They won't actually be in the graduation ceremony (they wouldn't stay quiet for that long) so my husband is going to try to watch on the big screen with them, or else take them to the nearby air-conditioned shopping mall if that fails. I wouldn't bother travelling up on my own. Nobody to babysit the kids if my husband and I went without them.

I wasn't too bothered by the impending heatwave before (we've lived in Australia, plus travelled to some extremely hot parts of the world - people do cope!) but now I'm started to have second thoughts due to the severity of the warnings.
What would you do? What should I do!

YABU - no way should you be going- skip the graduation
YANBU - stick with the original plan (or go alone; a consideration but one I'm reluctant to do and would probably rather not go at all).

OP posts:
yonce · 16/07/2022 20:22

Personally - I'd go alone if you're desperate to go. I wouldn't be travelling with young children in a heatwave, the advice is not to travel unnecessarily (especially 2.5 hours). There's a higher risk of breakdowns, emergency services will be busy etc.

QuiltedHippo · 16/07/2022 20:24

I would go, might flex plans a bit depending on what the children's attraction is but it's going to be hot everywhere, doesn't matter if its home or away, and it's a one time thing. Congratulations on your PHD

PuttingDownRoots · 16/07/2022 20:25

Leave early Monday.
Spend day at air conditioned childrens venue, or cinema or similar

Enjoy your graduation Tuesday

Leave late Tuesday when temperatures drop.

OperaStation · 16/07/2022 20:27

Go on your own. Those log cabins are hotter than hell and the last place on earth I would want to be in this heat. I also wouldn’t want to risk a long drive during a severe weather warning. It’s just not worth the risk.

PuffinMcStuffin · 16/07/2022 20:27

Leave early in the morning before it gets too hot, problem solved.

Shiningstarinsummer · 16/07/2022 20:28

I’d go alone.

twordle · 16/07/2022 20:28

Ive just been flamed (excuse pun) on another post about venturing to coast on mon/Tues so good luck with this one! Obvs v different situation for you tho. What part of the country are you in? As PP said, I'd probably not take children if possible. Just in case of breakdown etc. What are others on the course doing? Surprised they're still holding graduation ceremony when apparently official advice is not to travel..

TeaAndThenMoreTea · 16/07/2022 20:29

Wouldn't think twice about it. Get yourself there with your kids and enjoy it and be proud of your achievement

Twattergy · 16/07/2022 20:30

Go alone. This is exceptional circumstances and I think a total no no to have preschoolers travelling and out and about in such heat. Its disappointing but going alone will allow you to take in the moment for yourself and really savour it without worry about tiny kids and heat.

Icedbannoffee · 16/07/2022 20:35

Nope, if they were older and would remember the day and be able to watch the ceremony live as it were then sure. But pre schoolers? No way. Personally I'd go alone and make sure you get lots of photos, can then compile them and go through them with them when they're older and they'll understand more what a wonderful achievement it is. Your PhD isn't going anywhere after all, it will always be an incredible thing to have done.

TuftyMarmoset · 16/07/2022 20:35

I’d probably try to go but travel early on Monday and late on Tuesday if possible, and make sure you have water in the car. Do you have some sort of breakdown cover for your car if it overheats? And I’d maybe see if you could book a hotel or something as a log cabin sounds like it could get quite hot.

TabithaTittlemouse · 16/07/2022 20:35

How are you travelling?
I think you’ll regret not going. Just be sensible about it.

wibblewobbleball · 16/07/2022 20:37

Congratulations and well bloody done OP! What an achievement, your family must be so so proud of you. I would go early morning Monday to beat the worst of the heat? And consider how warm the Airbnb will be for the kids, and possibly change to a premier inn type place with AC. Enjoy your celebration Smile

toomuchlaundry · 16/07/2022 20:39

Whereabouts in the country are you travelling?

Namechanger355 · 16/07/2022 20:40

To be honest, given how important it is - I would go with your family - but just leave really early on Monday and settle there. Then leave late on tuesday

you will def regret it if you don’t go - but only you can say whether you will regret it if your kids aren’t there with you

JessesMum777888 · 16/07/2022 20:42

TeaAndThenMoreTea · 16/07/2022 20:29

Wouldn't think twice about it. Get yourself there with your kids and enjoy it and be proud of your achievement

This 🫶👏

PeekAtYou · 16/07/2022 20:43

I would leave very early Monday and depending on temperatures, leave very late Tuesday. I'm assuming that you have a cool place to stay out of the sun in between.

Sloebluewalls · 16/07/2022 20:44

Drive up early morning around 8am, forget the attraction and instead get a paddling pool and an umbrella for the woodland cabin shade.

Greenrogue · 16/07/2022 20:46

If your car has air con then go for it

Costacoffeeplease · 16/07/2022 20:47

Go alone

FlissyPaps · 16/07/2022 20:50

Given you’ve lived in Aus, do you think you could cope with how hot it will be here? If so, then go. You’ll know how to deal with heat.

On the other hand, Aus is very different to the UK. Our buildings are designed to keep heat in.
What is the building/venue like that will hold the ceremony? Is it air conditioned?

But, if you have any doubts. Any at all. It’s not worth the risk with 2 small children. If you believe they may get heat stroke or be uncomfortable. Then go alone.

Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 16/07/2022 20:56

Ive just been flamed (excuse pun) on another post about venturing to coast on mon/Tues so good luck with this one!

Oh I read that one! Actually that's what prompted me to post my thread, as I did go to the beach when I was living in Aus and it got to 42 degrees! I was living close to it though and didn't have kids then so I guess things change.

Thank you so much for all the responses. Will show my husband in a mo and have a really good chat about it. Definitely lots of food for thought and widely differing opinions!

In answer to a couple of questions- we were planning on driving in our family car. I've been in touch with the log cabin owner who tells me that it's cooler than a house in there (obviously just taking their word for it). The suggestion to get a hotel room with aircon is a really good one- thank you.

I know the sensible compromise would probably be to go alone - but I feel like that would be kind of hollow in a way. My kids were born during my PhD and have always been a huge part of it as a result. I don't think attending would mean anywhere near as much if they weren't there (even if they do wander off during the ceremony). It's hard to explain. I guess that's quite selfish of me actually.

Traveling from the coast to the centre-ish of the UK to answer another question.

Yes - travelling at early/ late hours is the plan. And definitely loads of water. I wouldn't be fussed at all about just me and my husband (we did this sort of journey a million times abroad) but with our little kids I wonder if I'm being a bit blasé.

OP posts:
Mol1628 · 16/07/2022 20:59

I would go. Just be sensible, take supplies etc.

Original poster
surreygirl1987 · 16/07/2022 21:00

*Given you’ve lived in Aus, do you think you could cope with how hot it will be here? If so, then go. You’ll know how to deal with heat.

On the other hand, Aus is very different to the UK. Our buildings are designed to keep heat in.
What is the building/venue like that will hold the ceremony? Is it air conditioned?

But, if you have any doubts. Any at all. It’s not worth the risk with 2 small children. If you believe they may get heat stroke or be uncomfortable. Then go alone*

Yeh, we'd cope (my husband and I, I mean) but my little ones are both under 4 and they've never been abroad or experienced anything above the 20s (or whatever it was during July 2020!).

I have no idea if the graduation building has AC but I'm not too fussed about that. I guess I just don't know how risky it is taking my two kids. One part of me thinks the concerns are really hyped l, but there's also this niggling worry that I'm just not making the right decision for my kids. If it was anything else I wouldn't care so much, but this just matters so much to me!

OP posts:
Deux · 16/07/2022 21:00

It depends where your start and end point are. Is it forecast to be cooler where you’re going?

Getting a PhD is a seriously huge achievement. Massive. I think you should go to celebrate your achievement, plus otherwise I think you’ll regret it.

I’d leave super early on Monday, aiming to get to your destination before 10am and consider leaving on Wednesday instead.

Have there been any mutterings that the ceremony is likely to be postponed. I think that’s a very real possibility as well.