To drive 2 and a half hours with my kids on Monday and Tuesday?

[surreygirl1987]

Not sure what to do and would love to hear other people's opinions.

I graduate from my PhD on Tuesday. It's a huge deal to me and I've been dreaming of this day for years. But it's a 2 and a half hours drive away and of course, there'sthe weather warning. Original plan is to drive up on Monday, spend the day at a local children's attraction, stay in an airbnb overnight (log cabin sort of thing), attend graduation on the Tuesday, and then drive straight home. For context, kids are both preschoolers. They won't actually be in the graduation ceremony (they wouldn't stay quiet for that long) so my husband is going to try to watch on the big screen with them, or else take them to the nearby air-conditioned shopping mall if that fails. I wouldn't bother travelling up on my own. Nobody to babysit the kids if my husband and I went without them.

I wasn't too bothered by the impending heatwave before (we've lived in Australia, plus travelled to some extremely hot parts of the world - people do cope!) but now I'm started to have second thoughts due to the severity of the warnings.
What would you do? What should I do!

YABU - no way should you be going- skip the graduation
YANBU - stick with the original plan (or go alone; a consideration but one I'm reluctant to do and would probably rather not go at all).

I would only consider it if the car has air con. We travelled into London on Tuesday and it was hideous. Air con made it bearable. My 10 year old collapsed in the heat, and that was in a shady cemetery.

I’d probably go alone. Congrats by the way, make sure you go, it’s a proud day

It's going to be 40 in centre of the country on Monday.

If the attraction is one of the many around there that is outside, I really wouldn't.

I've been to the Graduation ceremony for my DS today. To be honest, I'm not sure I'd bother. It was 2 hours of watching people walk across a stage whilst we clapped. Certificates for the degrees were sent out in the post months ago after the ceremony was cancelled due to Covid.
Unless you particularly want to dress up in your different gown and funny hat then I wouldn't bother. There were people there with babies who spent more time trying to entertain them than appreciating the ceremony and whilst I take my metaphorical hat off to them for completing their degrees whilst having young children, this was not recognised on stage at all - they were just like all the other graduates.

We are very proud of our DS who was graduating in a Masters but both DH & I concluded at the end of the ceremony that it was a couple of hours of our life that we'd never get back.

It's a really tough question to answer, isn't it, @surreygirl1987

I guess your comments mean that your kids being there crystallises the compromises you felt you had to make and makes it worthwhile.

They won't ever feel that but you do.

So if that were the only reason, I'd say maybe consider leaving them at home.

Is deferring the ceremony a possibility? There must be others who won’t make it because of heat/ covid etc. the uni must be able to make contingencies

I would say - go by yourself if you have no babysitting / childcare . The children won't remember the ceremony - just get someone to take a video or plenty of photos. It will be a great shame not to have DH there , but surely it is just the same as covid things etc. Otherwise travel whilst it is cooler and just alter the times of travelling even if not what you had originally planned.

You ceremony will not be hollow if you go alone. What an achievement. Congratulations. Quick question is this the only graduation ceremony - DS's university had more than one for each year - can you change to another date ?

You deserve your celebration. If your car has aircon and you stay somewhere with aircon and otherwise will be in aircon shopping centres etc, plus take water/sunscreen/hats then I don’t see too much of an issue. Travel earlier or later and lay low at other times (ceremony permitting).

Either way, your family won't actually be there when you graduate so I'd rather they were safe and as comfortable as possible at home.

Can you get an air conditioned premier inn or something similar? Travel early on Monday to avoid the 12-3 peak, and as pp suggested find an air conditioned place to spend the day.

You deserve to go and there are ways to keep relatively cool.

Congratulations on your PhD! I'd go, set off at 6 and leave late on Tuesday, it'll be fine :)

Completely agree. I didn't go to my graduation (didn't want to) and my daughter was fairly ambivalent about hers - she went in the end but we all agreed it was a bit of a waste of time.
Find some other way to celebrate with your partner and children.

This. Can't actually believe all the posts encouraging the journey with pre-school kids. Madness!

Could you go Sunday late eve/ v early Monday morning and check in to somewhere with air con so you have a safe / cool base.

Then return Wednesday early hours/ early morning.

My thinking is for the kids it's more comfortable to travel when they'll sleep through!

My biggest worry would be the car. Will it last?!

Apols - my post in reply to bigbluebus

I'd you have a reliable car with good air con and travel early/leave late ,take lots of water in the car then that's a lot more sensible than being at the beach!

Congratulations 👏

My DH had his graduation and we took permission to take DD out of school for half a day. It was long and she got bored, she managed ok overall but said she 'missed school', wanted to go play with her friends and when he asked her how it was she said 'I was really boring' and honestly I agree with her. Half a day to watch 2 mins of graduation relevant to her. Regardless of the heatwave, leave the kids at home.

Is it a new-ish car, with reliable air-con?
Can you turn it into a big adventure and travel very early on Monday morning, or on Sunday night, while it's coolest, with kids in PJ's and mostly asleep? Can you book the extra night?

If yes - perhaps. Focus on safety. Can you sufficiently mitigate the risks for young children who are far more vulnerable to extreme heat?

I do understand why you want your whole family there. I have fuzzy memories of my single Mum completing her interrupted degree and graduating whilst I was tiny, and even though a toddler doesn't really understand, it still creates a pattern of women learning and achieving. Big congratulations to you X

Congratulations on your achievement OP. Although I can understand your reasoning for wanting your children there, I don't think it would be fair on them.
We had a short car journey today and my kids were acting like they were being catapulted into the sun. They don't cope well in the heat (much like me), or long car journeys (also like me).
They won't understand what's going on, will most likely be bored, hot, and restless. And you'll be worried the whole time.
I am a worrier though, and I would be concerned about what would happen if we were to break down or get stuck in traffic. I'm sure we have been warned to only travel if essential (although I may be wrong).

Government love a 'don't travel' warning 😂

It’s going to snow - don’t travel
It’s going to be windy - don’t travel
It’s going to rain too much - don’t travel
It’s going to be foggy - don’t travel
It’s Covid - don’t travel
It’s too hot - don’t travel

Don't travel - but go to work 😂

Is it a new car with air con recently serviced etc ? I think I'd have to be feeling really confident I'd done everything I could to minimise the risks if you are to go ...

Realistically where are the kids going to wait around whilst you go into the ceremony? It's going to be too hot for them to be outside waiting for you probably even in the shade - so they would have to find a nearby building with air con etc which kind of defeats the point of you all being there ?

I understand your reasons but I don't think I could put everyone through it really so I would be going on my own if it's not cancelled.

Huge congrats on your achievement though

Definitely go. It'll be great! You can stop off at a nice tea room/farm on the way up for the kids to enjoy. Have a great time in the b&b.

You only graduate with a PhD once (usually!)

Go with the kids and have a blast!

stop at a farm ffs

I wouldn't travel that far with pre-schoolers in such extreme temperatures but then I've had the unfortunate experience of breaking down on the motorway with small children in the car on a hot day. The AA took hours to come out to us. It was utterly miserable, and it wasn't anywhere near as hot as it's predicted to be on Monday and Tuesday!

It's entirely your call of course and you deserve to celebrate your achievement but I am wondering if the reality will live up to your expectations given that you'll have two hot, tired children in tow. I remember my graduation ceremonies being looooong, your children will get bored and your DH will have to entertain them so he may not even get to watch on the screen. I'd go on my own if I was in your position, unless you can find someone to have the kids.

I would do my own celebration at home for the DC. Your call whether you go to your actual one. Can you defer to another day?

Congratulations by the way