Splitting a meal when one person doesn't drink?

[MildredMilfred]

Went out for a meal with a family of 3 , 2 of us. These people are the kind of people who have everything - cocktail and beers to start off meal, more beers, always the most expensive things on the menu loads of sides plus wine, liquors, coffee, tea you name it. I had 3 courses the same as everyone else minus all the booze and extras and one bottle of mineral water - my cost would have been 43 Pounds. Instead I get 1/5 of the meal so I ended up having to pay 73 pounds.I'm pissed off with myself now for not saying -oh as I'm not drinking can I just pay what I had? Am I a miser to think like this? It happens every single time.

Not a miser. Alcohol can add a lot to a bill. Say upfront that you'll pay for your own meal/drinks next time.

It happens every time, you know the fairest way to split the bill, but you sit there and say nothing?!

Yanbu. My friends usually just split it but everyone knows that drinks can be expensive (eg a cocktail is often more than a starter) and really add up so normally if one person isnt drinking its routine for everyone else to take their meal off and then split the remainder. An extra £30 on that size of bill is an unreasonable amount to expect you to subsidise them but equally you should have said 'oh I didnt have any drinks or sides so would prefer to pay for what I had'

YANBU

How annoying!! We all learn one way or another to speak up next time. So let it go for now and next time just say "sorry I'm not paying for your cocktails" xx

You allow it to happen.
Go to the till and pay for yours separately.

It really isn't normal to hand over £30 when you weren't drinking.

You are making a fool of yourself by doing so.

When we go out we split the alcohol differently and then soft drinks and food as a group. It doesn't take that long.

It's ok if people have only had one drink as they generally don't cost too much more but when it's bottles and bottles it's not on.

Yabu not to say something if it keeps on happening.

You need to get a back bone and say no I'm not subsidising your share

Definitely not unreasonable. Just saw next time you want to pay separately.

it tends to bring loads of handwringing here about just paying for what you had but my friend and I always seem to manage. (Vastly different income levels) If in doubt round up.

It's really inconsiderate of the others to not figure that into the split. You should have just paid your bit and everyone else split the rest.

You must speak up for yourself and say that you'll pay for your own as you only had one soft drink. If you can, take cash with you so you can simply place the correct amount on the table when the time comes to pay.

Nope. Ideally if you are a non drinker the group should be taking this into account otherwise you have to speak up - if they were pissed don't expect them to think about these things.

Bear in mind non alcoholic drinks also cost money but if you were not drinking as you were giving them a lift home then your drinks should have been divided amongst the 'drinkers.'

I usually just say... oh, I don't drink or only had xyz and will pay for my things separately.

Never had any issues.

I think splitting bills never woks for people who don't drink or don't have starters/ desserts.

YABU for not having the guts to stand up for yourself when it came time to pay.

Well you sit there and say nothing, knowing what they’re like.

More fool you.

Next time try speaking up “mine only came to £43, and here’s a few quid extra towardss the tip”

Or ask when ordering for the waiter to put yours on a separate tab.

Drinks get taken off the bill and split between those who drank. Food bill split between everyone. It's simple.

No way would I put up with that! Stand up for yourself OP, just say "here's our share plus tip".

Yes you need to speak up for yourself. You pay for yours and they can split the rest between themselves if they want. If they kick up a fuss point out how much extra their booze is costing

This always happens to me when we go out with the in-laws. Last night I had around 40£ of food and drinks, but we were told our share of the bill was £77 each 🙄🙄. No matter how aware my bills are that I don't drink, they forget to take this into account as they divide bills into adults and kids, and the adults all share the booze bill.

These threads do my head in, like what kind of wanker let's you split it when they know full well that they have had a massive discount 😒.

You're not a miser, but you are a doormat

(posted too soon hence typos and unfinished). It annoys me, but it is so rare an event I officially suck it up, whilst being really pissed off (they are a lot better off than me so totally unaware of what it's like having years and years of watching every penny carefully).

With friends I always just pay for mine separately, and we do cash tips (which I put more in for than I 'should' as I'd rather spend my money on that than other people's booze.)

You're not being unreasonable and they should have immediately offered to take the alcohol off the bill - I think that's the responsibility of the drinkers in that situation, and it's what I always do myself if I'm drinking and someone else isn't or if I have a much bigger meal etc. I think it's really rude to put people in the position of having to point out they owe less, which is inevitably a bit awkward for them.

You are all right. I am a doormat. Next time I am going to say that. If they resent it then too bad.

Are these people friends because they’re taking you for a ride. I regularly go out with a couple of mates and one of us will drive and not drink but the three of us always sort the drink separately and generally just split the food equally.