AIBU to want a bigger house? Please help me. Stay or Go?

[MrsWolfyWoo]

We live in a small 2 bed . Me , dh and Ds. We are lucky it is affordable and absolutely love the house and location but it’s very small especially as I work from home . We want another baby so space will be tighter .

The thing is - DH is older . So if we are going to move - we have to do it now while we can get a 17 year mortgage together . The issue is a 17 year mortgage on a bigger house will mean out mortgage payment will double our current payments . Things will be much tighter and the price of living is going up . This worries me especially if I want to have another baby ( maternity pay is low - then nursery fees)

If we don’t move I’m worried that we will become stuck in a 2 bed as if I was to borrow alone I can only borrow about £100k . Which would not be enough for us to get a bigger house even with the equity we have .

Do we stay and know we are comfortable but always worry that we may not get a 3 bed . Or do we move now whilst we can and accept things will be tight for at least 5 years ?

There is no room for an extension !

Advice please ?

I would move, 4 in a small 2 bed and you will always have moving on your mind. As the kids get older it will also become more of an issue.

Move. Before you have another child. We ended up stuck in a tiny 2 bed with 2 dc until youngest was 7 and eldest was a teen. It was really difficult, to put it mildly. If you can expand now then do so.

Move - you can always downsize to pay off the mortgage in 25-30 years when the DC have left home.

Do you have room to extend, or space in your garden for a good-sized garden room / office?

Moving is expensive, and stressful, so it’s often worth looking at whether you can change your current home to give you what you need rather than moving to add a relatively small amount to your living space.

Have you an attic? Extend upwards?

I wouldn't move, no way would I increase my outgoings that much at this time.

From an unemotional outsider, who has no further background that the OP, I'd say don't have another child and stay in the 2 bed that is affordable for now - moving at this time (inflated prices, high mortgage rates, inflation and cost of living increases) and doubling a mortgage payment before a lower paid maternity leave sounds like a perfect storm for stress and further worries down the line.

If you were asking this 5 years ago the answer would be MOVE.

But now… interest rates are going up. The cost of living is spiralling. We’re heading for a recession. You’re very likely to be in negative equity for a good few years if you buy now.

Added to having a baby and lower income and it’s a perfect storm.

It’s bad timing unfortunately.

Also OP while living in cramped conditions are bad, losing your entire house, with children. And not finding anywhere to rent (as they’re shooting up, with so many LL’ s selling up) is even worse.

Can you not put away the money you’d have put into the higher mortgage - come out with a bigger deposit? or once your second child goes to school - pivot into your career?

You won’t be ‘stuck’, don’t worry

We've just moved. Almost doubled our mortgage and council tax but most things are similar prices or cheaper - ie water rates, car insurance and fuel.

We moved based on area rather than size but have upsized. It's absolutely the best decision we could have made.

But your income isn’t going to drop, which is the OP’s problem.
It’s not just about the mortgage and council tax but the double whammy of everything increasing.

I’m usually a very precise budgeter. I’ve given up for the past few months because every time I redo my calculations prices have shot up.

Nobody knows where it’s going to end.

We’re also in the process of buying a family home but no extra child expenses and we expect our salaries to increase.

@OooErr but a temporary drop during maternity leave isn't a reason to not move IMO

We started paying for a second full time childcare place whilst the move was going through so had to recalculate too but if she's got limited time to make the decision due to her DH's age I was trying to reassure her that it's not all horribly expensive

Stay.Stay Stay Stay

You sound like you have a lovely setup, perfect for riding out the shitstorm that is on its way for a huge proportion of the population. You would be insane to put yourself at risk of losing everything because you feel like you are missing the boat with regards to a larger property.

In your post it sounds like you would be pushing it to afford a bigger house at present. Add to that possibly another child and all the other increases in costs and it just doesnt make sense.

For the record we brought our kids up in a 3 bed property. The 3rd room was a box room and my daughter never slept in a full length bed until she was 14. I got sick of the amount of times Mr & Mrs debt would suggest we were squashed into our little house. "Cant believe how you manage in that little house" etc. Well those same people don't make the same noises now we live in a house double the size, with a small mortgage and a couple of years wages saved in the bank. Its much easier to make yourself comfortable when you are not stretched financially.

I wouldn't do it now, not at this time of high inflation and not at this time in your lives.

I think it really depends on your incomes and mortgage payments. I don't think anyone can really say without knowing. If your mortgage payment is currently £200/month then doubling is probably okay, but if it's £700/month it's probably not. Are you willing to give some vague details?

Our next door neighbours have 2 kids in a 2 bed terrace (boy and girl). It looks awful and stressful. I find it tight for a couple and a dog so we're upsizing. If you can move, I would.

Hi OP,
We don't know your income or outgoings so only you can decide if you can afford it.

What you do need to factor in is the cost of living increases in your expenses on top of your increased mortgage.

After Oct I expect our gas/electric to be £250 a month (from £100 a year ago), our mortgage is £40 more due to interest rate rises and our petrol and food is more. After Oct our outgoing will probably have gone up around £300 a month for the same lifestyle.

So do you have the money to pay double the mortgage on top of all the other recent and coming increases?

We just moved in similar circumstances, though we're both older and with a daughter about to hit teenage years. 15 year mortgage.

So we all needed a bit more space around each other!

Yes, I'm worried about the cost of living going up, but we can tighten belts. The bigger house is well worth the extra cost, in both physical and mental terms.

Go for it.

Personally I would stay put and not have another child.

Do we stay and know we are comfortable

Yes, I would, at least for the next few years unless you have fertility issues. After that, more providers are allowing longer mortgage terms even if someone is over retirement age.

Assume there's no room in the garden for a workshop or additional sleeping?

Another thing to consider - what do people mean when they say ‘tight’? What exactly is it about the living space?
I’m happy as long as I have a desk and bookshelf . Also space for gym equipment but all of that can be folded up.
I don’t tend to have much ‘stuff’.

DP grew up in a 4 bed , 3 reception room house. Wants loads of rooms for different stuff. His dream house is a mansion, with pool and garden.
But all he does for fun is sit on the computer. He’s anti-social (so never has any guests). Doesn’t even go into any of the other rooms. Doesn’t go into the garden.

he has a lot of computer stuff (fair enough) and other random bits.

I told him he can have a mansion if he’s going to do all the cleaning :p

Of course all of this depends on house size.m, number of bedrooms is deceptive. A 2 bed with good sized double bedrooms and big lounge/kitchen is very different from a 2 bed with an extra box room and tiny lounge.

I don’t know how large yours is but if there’s more space than the bare minimum you could work something out.

If I were you I’d stay, try for another baby ASAP in the small house with the affordable mortgage. I’d get the expensive maternity leave + childcare years done, then look to maximise my salary and do a move then. Your DH could still get a 12-13 year mortgage, you’ll hopefully have more equity, interest rates hopefully stabilised etc. I don’t think it’s now or never. But now doesn’t seem good anyway.

Do you have a garden? Could you build one of those garden room/home office/children's playroom/teenager chill out rooms as a stop gap?

How old is he, how old are you, how old is DS, did you conceive easily, are you likely to have 2xnursery fees, will you need to move to a different part of the country or can you stay in the area, are you likely to get future promotions or salary increases, does DH have a good pension? etc. etc.

There are so many factors to weigh up. Generally, I'd say it sounds like you're going to be needing that three bed and that now is the time before DP is too old. But hard to say for sure without knowing all of the above.

On the one hand, I have a friend getting her first mortgage in her mid-50s so his age (depending on what it is) isn't necessarily going to stop your chances of moving in future when nursery fees are done and future DC situation is clearer. On the other hand, another friend's DH is drawing the line at one DC (to her disappointment) because he feels he's too old to do it all again in his 50s, so who knows if you'll even need that third bedroom.

How old is DH? Some banks have higher maximum ages than others so you may find that some will offer a term longer than 17 years. My DH is 55 and we’ve just been offered a 24 year term with Halifax as they allow up to 80 - I am the main earner though which probably makes a difference. Anyway, worth talking to a broker to see if you can get a longer term anywhere.

Can you extend ? I think you need to factor in interest rate rises. Eg if you're on 1.5% now could you still afford the bigger mortgage at say 6% ?