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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want a bigger house? Please help me. Stay or Go?

90 replies

MrsWolfyWoo · 15/07/2022 10:48

We live in a small 2 bed . Me , dh and Ds. We are lucky it is affordable and absolutely love the house and location but it’s very small especially as I work from home . We want another baby so space will be tighter .

The thing is - DH is older . So if we are going to move - we have to do it now while we can get a 17 year mortgage together . The issue is a 17 year mortgage on a bigger house will mean out mortgage payment will double our current payments . Things will be much tighter and the price of living is going up . This worries me especially if I want to have another baby ( maternity pay is low - then nursery fees)

If we don’t move I’m worried that we will become stuck in a 2 bed as if I was to borrow alone I can only borrow about £100k . Which would not be enough for us to get a bigger house even with the equity we have .

Do we stay and know we are comfortable but always worry that we may not get a 3 bed . Or do we move now whilst we can and accept things will be tight for at least 5 years ?

There is no room for an extension !

Advice please ?

OP posts:
ILikeHotWaterBottles · 15/07/2022 13:03

I get you want a second child, but the whole thing sounds insane.

Doubling your mortgage rates now - what are you going to do if 5 years time, the interest rate is double your current rate?

As you say living costs are rising. Doubt they are coming back down any time soon.

Nursery fees - they will increase too.

Your maternity pay will not increase, very unlikely at least.

Add up the worst case scenario in 5 years time - you have another child in nursery, your mortgage payments have more than doubled, your living costs are a lot higher than they are now. Can you afford it on your current salaries?

If no, don't do it. You could try for another child in your current house, but you could stick with just one.

newbiename · 15/07/2022 13:04

Sorry - just re read no room for an extension

cottagegardenflower · 15/07/2022 13:04

i would go for the bigger house while you are younger. i think you risk being stuck.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 15/07/2022 13:13

Move while you can.

BammBamm · 15/07/2022 13:24

We had this debate for several years and eventually moved in 2020 when DC2 was 4. In hindsight, we should have done it earlier because prices rose and we were upsizing. The current situation is starting to worry me. Our council tax doubled and our energy bills were and still are higher even though we've replaced heating and made other changes. Our mortgage is due to end in January and I'm dreading the increase. We still have a significant amount of work to do on the house too but some will have to wait.

If I was in your shoes, I would ride out this storm where you are and see what happens with house prices. I honestly think there will have to be some kind of readjustment and it will work in your favour if you're upsizing.

CaptainCorellisXylophone · 15/07/2022 13:29

Nobody has asked what feels like an obvious question to me: are you and your DP sure about having another child?

I am assuming 17 year mortgage means that your DP is 53. So you will likely still be supporting child 2 long after they are 70?

Whendovescry03 · 15/07/2022 13:35

I would also say to consider not having another child as it sounds like you'll be a lot worse off if you do. You could stay put and have a much bigger disposable income if you stay as you are. Finances is the main reason we stopped at one child and friends have done the same.

Doubling your current mortgage, going on maternity pay and then paying childcare just sounds bonkers to me (unless you can comfortably afford it of course).

TheTeddyBears · 15/07/2022 13:45

If it's affordable then do it. U can re evaluate whether to have a baby once you know more above the additional living costs etc.

AlwaysLatte · 15/07/2022 13:45

Nobody has asked what feels like an obvious question to me: are you and your DP sure about having another child ?I am assuming 17 year mortgage means that your DP is 53. So you will likely still be supporting child 2 long after they are 70?
Don't let that put you off. My husband was 59 when child #4 came along (now in yr 7). He's loving the fact that he has lots of time on his hands to spend with the children, and has been helping the older two with their house renovations.

Theoneinthemiddle · 15/07/2022 13:46

Stay.

why add wirry, expebse and stress to your life unnecessarily?

Thehonestbadger · 15/07/2022 14:12

Hmm I’m on the fence with this.
I have two small people (2&1) and we have a ‘big family house’ which we bought just before we had them. We thought we planned really well financially but were totally wrong footed when our eldest had additional needs (waiting on ASD diagnosis) I had to stop working, cost of living went sky high and we are now having to downsize and massively struggle. It sucks. Whenever I hear ‘it will be tight’ and ‘planning another baby’ together I cringe a bit. I personally think it’s a bit reckless to put yourself in a tight financial spot and then introduce a baby on top … but I can understand why you’d want the space.

could you compromise and maybe up size to a 3 bed semi, enough space but not a massive step up on mortgage/bills/CT??

LadyDanburysHat · 15/07/2022 14:17

It really does depend on your DHs age. You may be able to get longer than you think on a mortgage. My DH is 53 and we just got a 19 year mortgage.

cestlavielife · 15/07/2022 14:23

What will your pension be?
What will tax free lump sum be worth? Enough to pay off mortgage?
You can get a mortgage into your 70s
What sbout your earnings ?

Original poster
MrsWolfyWoo · 15/07/2022 15:35

Hi,

We both want a second baby and it is extremely important to us . If time was on our side we would stay in our little house for 5 years then move .
But time isn’t on our side due to DH’s age .

I know DH would move or stay. I’m just terrified if we don’t Move now we will be stuck and I’ll feel so guilty as two teenagers sharing a tiny bedroom would be hard ! Plus me working from home.

Current mortgage is £750. I think our mortgage would rise to £1400 if we were to move . However today I have really considered a house which isn’t all done and needs work
ans we could modernise . Meaning we could borrow less so it would cost about £ 1,100 a month .

Between us we earn about £3,200 a month . We have mortgage , house hold bills , petrol and nursery to pay if we had another baby .

I realize I am not being super specific here . I have booked to speak with a broker next week.

we can’t extended up or out.

It has been really interesting reading all responses . Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWolfyWoo · 15/07/2022 15:37

We have no debts / credit cards / car loans etc .

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWolfyWoo · 15/07/2022 15:42

Sorry . We earn 3,600 a month after tax .

OP posts:
llareggub · 15/07/2022 15:44

That’s a big mortgage IMO on that income. I know, I’ve done it (I’m a single parent) and it doesn’t leave much room for anything else.

NoSquirrels · 15/07/2022 15:51

I personally wouldn’t on that income to mortgage ratio. Not if you need to also factor in maternity leave, childcare costs and with no guarantee of higher income.

Thehonestbadger · 15/07/2022 15:52

@MrsWolfyWoo

Your situation is so similar to ours. We also had a £750 mortgage and made the jump to £1100 but that also came with a 50% CT increase (£150 extra) and bills bump (£100 extra pre covid and about £250 now) plus a slightly longer commute for DH so extra petrol. Nursery fees are around £800 a month. We don’t have credit cards or debts but one car finance around £200pm.

We have an income of £3500 and we are not managing at all! After everything we pay out it’s leaving us around £150pm to live on including nappies, wipes, food, petrol…etc so we are just dipping into savings every month.

it’s all the ‘one off annual stuff’ that adds up like MOT’s, insurance’s, internet security, Microsoft office. I added up our annual expenses equate to at least £250 a month broken down. Then there’s kids clubs, clothes, at least one family member birthday each month. When you get it all on a spread sheet you realise suddenly why you’re not managing and as much as you can cut down you can’t really stop these things, they’re either essential or you’d have a pretty miserable life without them. Fwiw I get a lot second hand too so I’m really not excessive. I worry you’ll struggle much more than you think x

OhmygodDont · 15/07/2022 15:53

That’s a big jump cost wise. Have you also looked at 2beds that have the possibility to extend out or up or to have like office/lodges in the garden?

OooErr · 15/07/2022 15:56

Why are you so worried about being stuck?
Assuming you have a baby next year. That’s at least a decade before it becomes a teenager.
Plenty of time for you to save
up, get a new higher paid job. You don’t have to rely solely on the equity from your current home.
Mortgages are also being given for older people so your H’s age shouldn’t be an issue.

SunshineAndFizz · 15/07/2022 15:57

Move now.

Sprig1 · 15/07/2022 15:58

I would say stay. It doesn't sound like you are in a financial position to do the move. If you really want to move then please do your sums v carefully. Bills are likely to increase significantly and look to stress test your mortgage payments to worst case scenario interest rates.

Ilikewinter · 15/07/2022 15:58

So your looking at a 50% mortgage payment jump, personally i wouldnt want to commit to that, if utility bills continue to rise and inflation I could see you could quickly start to struggle.

Winter2020 · 15/07/2022 16:00

Could you broaden your house search to bring the cost down and consider:
Cheaper areas/streets/estates
2 bed places with a second reception/dining room that could be used as a bedroom in future.
Places that don't have the extra space but have potential to extend.
Shared ownership?