AIBU to want a bigger house? Please help me. Stay or Go?

[MrsWolfyWoo]

We live in a small 2 bed . Me , dh and Ds. We are lucky it is affordable and absolutely love the house and location but it’s very small especially as I work from home . We want another baby so space will be tighter .

The thing is - DH is older . So if we are going to move - we have to do it now while we can get a 17 year mortgage together . The issue is a 17 year mortgage on a bigger house will mean out mortgage payment will double our current payments . Things will be much tighter and the price of living is going up . This worries me especially if I want to have another baby ( maternity pay is low - then nursery fees)

If we don’t move I’m worried that we will become stuck in a 2 bed as if I was to borrow alone I can only borrow about £100k . Which would not be enough for us to get a bigger house even with the equity we have .

Do we stay and know we are comfortable but always worry that we may not get a 3 bed . Or do we move now whilst we can and accept things will be tight for at least 5 years ?

There is no room for an extension !

Advice please ?

Sorry, OP, on your current household income you'd be insane to double your mortgage. You're not wrong to want more space, of course not, but realistically life is only going to get more expensive for everyone, and adding in a big mortgage plus nursery fees / loss of income from mat leave...no way on earth would I consider it.

It sucks, though. I hope you find an alternative.

I'd caution a fixer upper. We've had to dramatically reduce what we are doing to our house (and do it in bits) because the cost of building work / materials is so much now. I daren't borrow any more money with mortgage rates, so we are saving up (and I'm mustering all my patience and gratitude in the process).

How big are your two bedrooms? A friend of mine had a generous master and a decent second bedroom. She's just rejigged them to create a small ish double and two singles. Now her children have a room each (boy and girl) and the house will do them for a few more years. Is there any possibility of that?

Also look at Pinterest and YouTube for maximising storage etc for small spaces.

Given the current climate you'll have to compromise somewhere. In your shoes I'd probably stay put, save like crazy and then see where you are in a year or two.

I know at the moment you want to move into a bigger home and have a second child. You dh is older and you said you can only get a mortgage for 17 years because of his age. I presume he could be 52/53. You feel if you don't get a bigger home now you will miss out and you won't have the space for a 2nd child.

1. Does your dh really want a 2nd child considering their age and the fact they could be retired before the child finishes secondary school? How will you afford to put your current child and this child through college?

2 Your mortgage is currently £750 pm. To move to a new house this could change to £1400pm or £1150/1200 pm if you buy a fixer upper? Interest rates are going up so what happens if rates go to 6 or 7%?

3 fixer upper house are out their but the cost of building materials, paint ect have risen a lot and it hard to get good trades people to do things and they are not cheap either. Then you start to work on a house like this find problems and end up with a lot of unexpected expense.

4 When you apply for a mortgage banks will stress test you to see if you can afford to replay.
Also they will look at car loans, credit card ect. They also take into consideration how many kids you have. If you have another child you can't borrow as much.

5 Another child means that you have to live on maternity pay so you less income coming in for X period of time. You have the cost of nursery fees and the hassle of finding a place.
As your current child get older the expenses will get higher. Your extending the length of time you will children dependant on you and doubling the costs of bringing up just one child
As children get older they get more expensive.

6 At the moment the cost of living has gone crazy. Electric, gas, petrol have all shot up and are due to rise even further. Foods bills will be rising further as well because the cost of fertilizer has doubled and farmers cost of diesel ect will have to be passed on.

7 What happens if you have a 2nd child and you or your dh can no longer work because this child needs care?

Even one of the posters here said she is good with money and budgeting but she can't budget at the moment with the way everything is rising. Another person here did what your planning on around your income and she is finding it hard to manage on their income.
It not just that prices are rising but people's wages are not going up at the same rate and taxes are rising also.

I think that you would be better off staying in your current home and not having a 2nd child.
If you move house, take on a bigger mortgage and have another child I think that your just going to make life more difficult for you all. It important to have some spare cash to put aside into savings and a pension as you get older. You also important in case anything unforeseen happens that you have some bit of a buffer.

I’d say now is not the time to be living beyond your means - stay where you can afford, save save save, and look to buy again bigger and better when things settle down a bit. Even if you do have another baby, that’s 9 months of pregnancy, 6 months of the baby in your room at least - you have some time, I would use it personally.

I would only move if your income is set to increase.

Look into extending or putting an annexe in your garden for your office space.

You can manage with two bedrooms until DCs are at least 10/11. Wait out the current economic uncertainty. Build your equity. When the housing bubble bursts you will not find yourselves in over your heads.

@Ilady thank you so much for your reply . Lots of really important points . I hugely appreciate you taking the time .

The issue is we really want another child and I’ll always regret not having a second but I’m thinking that in the case of having a second child we need to accept we can’t relatively afford to move !

I’m sure someone will have already mentioned this but you need to calculate what will happen if interest rates rise a lot.

at the moment our payment is £1050 per month and we are on a rate we got fixed in 2020 of 1.7%. At current interest rates of 3.3% the repayments would jump to over £1300. Just think what they would be if rates rise to 6 or 7% which is really not that unlikely or god forbid 10% plus.

only move to a 3 bed if you can do it by moving to a cheaper area. Do not for the love of god double your mortgage payment when we are on the cusp of some huge interest rate rises.

Oh meant to add that we are worrying about this and our income is quite a bit higher than yours. Around £5200 combined after tax.

The issue is we really want another child and I’ll always regret not having a second but I’m thinking that in the case of having a second child we need to accept we can’t relatively afford to move

In that case I'd maybe TTC the second, accept you're staying where you are at least until the mat leave and double nursery stage has passed, and be absolutely ruthless about clutter and storage.

You need to compromise.

Second child and cramped living space, not a comfortable life
Second child and bigger house but in worse area probably or in bad condition that you can't afford to do up, not a comfortable life
No second child and have a relatively comfortable life

You can't afford the big house in nice area and done up, and the second child. You have to compromise and accept a bad situation in any form.

Mat pay and nursery fees plus double the mortgage? I'd say it has to be one or the other.

We had two dc in a 2bed flat til the youngest was 3. That's another 4 years if you ttc now, and gets you to the free 30 hrs.

Do you have to get a 17yr mortgage? Don't they do them smaller?

@ILikeHotWaterBottles harsh

OP basically needs to accept their shit life by the sounds of it haha

(OP it’s not shit)

I agree with the pp who said stay where you are, have the second baby, and save the difference between the mortgage you’re paying now and the mortgage you would be paying if you’d moved (so potentially £500-700 a month). In a few years you’ll have a canny whack of savings, the equity in your house, you’ll be past the super expensive childcare phase and you can work with a broker to find a mortgage provider who can work with your DH’s situation (or you can get a shorter mortgage term). There’s no point putting yourself in financial difficulties now for an unknown “if” of struggling to move in 4-5 years time

This is what I am going to do! Thanks all!

You haven't specified the age of your husband - understandably you may not want to give personal information but I'm wondering what assumption you are making about the upper age limit for having your mortgage paid off and whether you might be missing a trick by calculating the term and monthly payments on the wrong basis.

Many mortgage lenders have an upper age limit of 70 or maybe 75 in some cases, but some will give mortgages of up to the age of 80 or even 85, subject to satisfying their criteria. I know because I got one! That means your monthly payments would be much less than perhaps you think. So I'd say go and have your baby. It's important. You have only one life, one family. Seize the day.

Have a look online. Lots of calculators there. I've used London and Country in the past. Put in your criteria for upper age limit for paying off the mortgage and see what comes up. Or ring them and ask. They don't charge.