I can’t cope with my daughters tics anymore.

[MiniMoosey]

I was wondering if there was anyone on here who can help? Or has the same thing?

My 8 year old has vocal tics, throat clearing and grunting. It’s literally every 3 seconds whilst she is awake.

I have misophonia and asd and her tics set off my anxiety and rage (never at her!).

I just can’t live like this anymore. Right now she’s in bed and I’m 2 floors below her and I can still hear it, there’s is literally no escape from it.

It’s effecting our relationship so much because I just find spending time with her so painful atm.

Doctors are no help at all. I miss our close relationship before all this started. I’m so so down about it all.

I work with extremely loud kids and find some days really taxing in a sensory way, and a friend recommended these noise filtering ear buds. She swears they take the edge off. I also sleep in Moldex 39decibel reduction earplugs.

I do have some but I’m worried I won’t hear my baby.

I get it. I really really get it.

I have two boys that tic and when my eldest was around that age his tics (throat clearing and sniffing) were every other second for a long long time.

I also have misophonia.

There was one time he was in the back of the car ticking and my other son was wheezing and coughing (asthmatic) and I wanted SCREAM.

It was utterly irrational, they can't help it but it grates on you.

Can you get some headphone?

Put some white noise on and have the baby monitor on loud, by your head.

Out of interest have you or your husband ever suffered with OCD?

There are some very effective medications for tics. If they are that bad, surely they must be affecting her life in other ways. Perhaps keep trying the doctors?

Is she autistic? I used to do this a lot as a child. I do it much less now for some reason. I'd also whistle breathe, like blowing air out.

The worst thing with tics is to draw attention to them as it usually makes them worse (not saying you are doing that obvs!)

DS was the same at that age - part of his autism. We managed to stop it with ice cubes. He was finding it annoying too and couldn't control it so every time it started (a lot!) I'd get him a cup of ice cubes and he'd sit and suck them which meant he couldn't do a vocal tic. Gradually the habit broke and he was doing it much less. In periods of high stress it comes back but we just start the ice cubes again and it always breaks the cycle.

No I don’t think so. I have an array of mental health issues but I’m fairly sure ocd isn’t one of them

What are these "very effective" medications that you speak of?

We have been through CAMHS and the best we got was Phenergan.
(I don't recommend it)

I love how different kids are, ice lollies used to be a trigger for my eldest sons throat clearing tic!

Took us months to realise it was a tic and not the fault of the ice lolly!

This might sound strange but I had an issue with certain sounds from childhood

When I reached a certain age I made an effort to tell myself these noises didn't bother me it was programming
And it went away 😳

@ImFuminHun interesting! I would only use plain ice, never lollies - the sugar and crap in them is very drying and would irritate the laryngeal mucosa more. Vocal tics cause greater irritation and you need to increase hydration to help stop them.

Yes OP, just tell yourself not to be bothered by it and it will go away.

While you're there, tell your DD to stop ticking and maybe tell a depressed person "chin up love, it might never 'appen!"

😉

I never even considered that, that may well have been why it was triggering for them.

I could have done with that sage input 7 years ago! 😁

Although I have other sons so perhaps I will take that advice forward at some point!

My son was diagnosed with Tourettes last year and so I completely understand how you are struggling. My son’s tics vary in severity. There have been times I haven’t wanted to go home from work due to his coughing/throat noise tic being more severe during that time. His motor tics are currently more severe than his vocal tics. Sending you a big hug. The severity of my sons Tics seem to fluctuate. I really appreciate the times when they are milder x

Sympathies. My DD has tics and so does DH. When baby DS was born they both exploded with them. My nerves were absolutely shredded. Their tics seem encouraged by each other. It really took a lot not to lose it with them (even though I know they can't help it)

Seem to be quite a few of us who have children with tics and we have misophonia. Is there a genetic link between the two?

I have times where DD's tics drive me to full misophonia rage/flight or fight/repulsion and I really struggle. I'd never let her know that, it's incredibly hard.

Someone upthread mentioned training themselves out of misophonia and I've actually done that, to a certain extent, over the years. The less attention you give it, the more you distract yourself, the easier it gets. DD's throat tics and the dog's dry mouth slapping noises still make me clench horribly though.

It’s awful but I sometimes wish she could go and live with someone else. That’s how bad it is. It’s just constant.

I know it's not helpful in this moment but it won't always be constant.
It does get easier.

I do understand OP, my niece clears her throat, sniffs and grunts CONSTANTLY (only hay-fever or dust according to my DB🙄) and it's awful for the shirt times I'm there.

The training yourself out of it is a kind of CBT.

The ice cube thing sounds like a good idea. I know that with motor tics, you can teach kids to do an opposite action when they feel one coming on, but wasn't sure how that would work with throat clearing.

The medication that I've seen work for tics is catapress.

I've looked into medications for misphonia - I've read that propanolol can work, but haven't asked my GP about it.

PragmaticWench
Misophonia can occur in Autism. Autism and tics do have shared genetic links.

op - not sure what’s available on NHS locally for children- but seen this offered for adults on NHS
habit reversal training

kidadl.com/parents/tips/habit-reversal-training-does-it-really-work

I suffer tics. I find singing helps. I don't know why. Maybe because it's using the linguistic and noise producing part is my brain.

Mine aren't as bad as you're daughters sound, and I had adult onset. Just thought it might be something to try. They are exhausting and I bet your daughter would welcome the respite as much as you. X

Have you tried probiotic foods (for both you and your ds)?