I can’t cope with my daughters tics anymore.

[MiniMoosey]

I was wondering if there was anyone on here who can help? Or has the same thing?

My 8 year old has vocal tics, throat clearing and grunting. It’s literally every 3 seconds whilst she is awake.

I have misophonia and asd and her tics set off my anxiety and rage (never at her!).

I just can’t live like this anymore. Right now she’s in bed and I’m 2 floors below her and I can still hear it, there’s is literally no escape from it.

It’s effecting our relationship so much because I just find spending time with her so painful atm.

Doctors are no help at all. I miss our close relationship before all this started. I’m so so down about it all.

Sorry I should have says dd

I feel for you. I have misophonia, my exhusband had tics that appeared after our son was born. It drove me insane, and definitely contributed to our divorce. There was no escape and I just got more and more shredded and angry.

I’ve had tics since childhood and still do. They get worse when I’m stressed. A mixture of vocal and motor. Some family members were really mean and nasty to me about them and constantly got on at me to stop. No one ever considered speaking to a medical professional about it. They all referred to them as ‘habits’.

A couple of years ago I sought some advice and long story short found out I am autistic. Possibly have Tourette’s too - or tics might just be linked to the autism.

I’m also very sensitive to noise particularly repetitive noise so know how annoying it can be - but don’t get on at your daughter as it will likely stress her and make the tics worse.

Both of my kids have had tics - one really severe swearing - and CBD oil is absolutely what changed things for them both.

I really get the dread of coming home from work to hear the constant sounds; DM me if you want the info on CBD oil that we gathered through our own research. It changed things massively within 10-14 days.

I hear you. My son has verbal and physical tics. They’re more prevalent when he is stressed. I’ve no words of wisdom so I’m sending you an unmumsnetty hug instead ((()))

Is your misophonia anxiety/stress related? It often is.

Most troubling things are worse when you are stressed. If you can prioritise self care, you may have more capacity for irritating noises!

I have misophonia and I too have trained myself out of the worst of it. My worst sound was flowing concrete which might not be so bad if I wasn’t an engineer.

I do a sort of mindfulness/meditation thing where if you can imagine having a pain somewhere in your body and focussing on the sensations you feel around the pain rather than the actual pain. It is a way of diverting your brains attention away from the thing that is bothering you. It takes a tonne of practice but it works. So in your case focus on not the sound but exploring where in your brain you are feeling the sound, what is happening there etc etc it really does work.

Ear defenders lessen loud noises to a tolerable level but you would still hear a baby cry.
magnesium supplements sometimes help reduce tics.

You have my sympathy.

Practicing some meditation, the type that helps block out sounds through breathing exercises.

Ear pods?

One of my DC had a vocal tic at about that age. Lasted 3-4 months. Then got it again at about 12 years old. Less pronounced and shorter duration. It’s annoying and taxing your patience and understanding. You all feel so helpless.

Thankyou I’m going to try the ice cube thing! She definitely doesn’t drink enough.

@ImFuminHun can I ask the correlation.

Op look up NLP and tapping

Between OCD and tics/tourettes you mean?

They are both a neurological disorder, closely linked.

I had OCD as a child, this made me more like to have a child with OCD or tourettes. It made it even more likely because all my children are male. So I passed that cheery nugget on to them. Poor kids.

Because my eldest two have Tourette's and my third child is male, he has 50/50 chance of developing tics as well.

It's also linked with ADHD, off the top of my head over half of those with Tourette's have ADHD. My second son has ADHD, I'm almost certain I have ADHD.

I just googled NLP tapping.

I was taught this years ago when I suffered with panic attacks. It helped a lot. I also recommend this.

@ImFuminHun

Thanks,I was just wondering as a relative seems to have ocd and their child seems to have tics.

Try magnesium supplements (for children- there are chewable ones) and B6 as well. My son is autistic and he developed signicant tics over lockdown. The supplements really worked, particularly the magnesium. It is also quite common to develop tics at this age and kids do tend to outgrow them.

My younger brother has tourettes and multiple different tics at various times.

I would strongly suggest you go back to your GP and talk about whether anything effective for anxiety (medication or therapy) might help you to be able to manage her tics better. Then you can support her better. Regardless of your best efforts she will eventually pick up on your struggles with her tics and it could be very damaging for her to have that come from you. Sorry if that sounds brutal, you are not in the wrong or unreasonable I just think you need some help.

Your daughter must be exhausted. Does she have a diagnosis of Tourette’s for example? If not I’d be pushing the GP to get her seen by someone who can diagnose what’s going on and put some kind of plan in place to help make her more comfortable.

and just to add that I have an adult son with a diagnosis of classic kanneea autism whose related tics and stims became so bad that they were eventually diagnosed as Tourette’s.

I know how hard it can be to hear and see the tics but just remember that no matter how difficult it is to witness them it’s umpteen more times difficult to be the person having them.

Do you know what the trigger is for you daughter’s tics are? Is there anything that makes them better or worse. Look up sensory profiles as meeting your sensory needs reduces your tics. When I was little I had a little trampoline that I would bounce up and down on when my tics were bad.

Stress makes it much worse so it could be that she is pick-up on your stress

The therapy to reduce your tics is habit reversal therapy. I am not sure what age it is available from but I had it as an adult.

My grandson used Ashwagandha and his tics have been greatly reduced and as a bonus he’s able to enjoy school a lot more.

My friend’s daughter had facial tics and went to see a hypnotist. They disappeared completely after one session. Maybe worth a try?

Literally no advice, but I feel for you.💐

I used to have a throat clearing tic at that age. That, and lip-licking. It drove my ASD sister absolutely bonkers. Of course, there was nothing I could really do about it, but the attention probably only made it worse.

You'll be pleased to know that the throat clearing did fade and is now completely gone. The lip-licking has sort of gone, but I've replaced it with regular applications of lipbalm!

In other news, I have ADHD, which wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult, and I suspect it's all linked.

www.flareaudio.com/products/calmer

I find these make a difference, they seem to take the edge off for me.