To think DH sleeping whilst looking after a baby is unacceptable?

[Playgrind]

DH was looking after our baby, (not tiny but nearly walking independently) and napping toddler whilst I was out.

Got home to find out DH had been sleeping, then baby fell asleep on the carpet, and the toddler had been napping for over 3 hours! DH can't understand why I'm upset. AIBU?

Was he asleep while baby was awake? If so he is very lucky they didn’t get hurt.

To answer your thread title no, sleeping whilst looking after a baby is not unacceptable. Most people do it every night. Even if they all had a nap it would be fine, but it sounds like he just went to sleep and didn't ensure they were safe first?

Is there something else going on @Playgrind?

Aren’t we all told to sleep when the baby naps?

When my DD was a baby and I absolutely couldn’t keep my eyes open (suffer from an autoimmune disease that causes fatigue) I would put her in the jumper so she couldn’t get out and would be entertained and then set an alarm for 15 minutes on my phone to shut my eyes (never fully asleep though) so no it’s not unreasonable for people to sleep whilst caring for a child BUT as long as they’ve made sure it’s safe first.

It isn't unacceptable to sleep when you have a baby.

But he didn't sleep when the baby slept. The baby was awake, he went to sleep, and the baby ended up falling asleep on the floor because he wasn't awake to put the baby in their cot.

Also: toddler

I don’t know how you come up with that from the OP! It certainly didn’t clearly say that

Would love to know what happens at night in your house.

I'm waiting for the massive drip feed about toddler not sleeping until 10pm and there being a mountain of housework that hasn't been done.

That’s how I read the OP too- “DH had been sleeping, then baby fell asleep on the carpet”.

So so dangerous.

Yes that's how I read it

More context needed on who fell asleep first. If the baby was asleep first and the area is secured, I don’t see why he can’t sleep. However if he fell asleep before the baby and just left them to their vices, then that’s irresponsible

As long as the baby was contained in a safe environment I don't see what the problem is to be honest. I'd be more annoyed at letting a toddler sleep for 3 hours close to bedtime.

I have photos of both my kids asleep on the floor as babies. We were awake, they were crawling around and conked out. I don't think a tired baby getting caught out by a nap is the end of the world.

DS used to wake up for the day at 4:30 every day. DH, bless him, used to bring him downstairs, turn on the tv and sleep on the couch. The room was baby-proofed, he couldn't escape, and he had two more-or-less sane parents for the day. If you're desperate for sleep, sometimes a less-than-ideal arrangement will do.

Soooooo it's perfectly acceptable for a mother to sleep when they sleep but when a man does it........🤔 okay then

He shouldn't be sleeping with an uncontained baby in the house. Wouldn't have been so bad if the baby was in it's cot. And a three hour nap for a toddler makes me twitchy, unless they're poorly.
I managed to lone parent 2 under 3, never fell asleep in the day and always made sure they were tucked up safely to sleep.

I don’t really understand why you’re upset either to be honest!

Did he fall asleep accidentally? I couldn't get mad about this tbh, it's knackering having little kids and everyone's fine so no point being pissed off about it.

So it's okay for you to sleep or 'nap when the baby naps' but if he does it he's the devil reincarnated?

Weird.

My reading of this is that he fell asleep before the baby, who is 'nearly walking independently' I.e. cruising round the furniture. If this is the case then YANBU

Otherwise YABU.

If the baby is asleep ON THE CARPET that baby could easily wake and get into all sorts of danger without DH waking up. Eg crawl / cruise into another room!!

If he fell asleep before the baby then YANBU.

If he fell asleep after the baby then YABU.

I think I’d be more concerned that they’ve all fallen asleep simultaneously and one has been asleep for over 3 hours.

Have they all been out in the hot sun playing?
They might just be exhausted.
If you have gas I would check your carbon monoxide detector though too just in case.

I looked after my friends non sleeping twins once after they tag teamed her for a week so she could get some rest.

I had them 2 days and I have no idea how she lasted a week. At one point I had one asleep slumped forward in the jumperoo the other sprawled out asleep on the floor and me also asleep on the floor, propped up against the sofa.

They were both down, I seized my moment.

Best contraception ever.

Sounds like he has a good technique there !