To think DH sleeping whilst looking after a baby is unacceptable?

[Playgrind]

DH was looking after our baby, (not tiny but nearly walking independently) and napping toddler whilst I was out.

Got home to find out DH had been sleeping, then baby fell asleep on the carpet, and the toddler had been napping for over 3 hours! DH can't understand why I'm upset. AIBU?

Fine to sleep during planned naps. Absolutely not fine to allow toddler or baby to sleep for 3 hours, would ruin night sleep for us as far too long.

And if he went to sleep while 11 month awake and then baby went to sleep on floor that is very unsafe, surely baby was whingy before napping on floor and dh didnt hear? Or ignored. Why was he asleep so deeply and so long during the day? Just off a nightshift? If so might not be completely his fault but you should both take steps to make sure this can't happen again.

I fell asleep with a 5 month old crawling all over the bed once, he wouldn't sleep! He always stopped at the edge of the bed and didn't work out to turn around to get down until 9 months so was effectively in an enclosed space.

Sleep when they sleep if they are safe in a cot. Not if they are 11 months old

Not if they are 11 months old and starting to explore

Missed a line out of that. It should say, you sleep when they sleep. I didn't even remember falling asleep. He probably didn't mean to. I'd be a bit annoyed but wouldn't be upset as such. Everyone slept, everyone lived, no one choked, starved or got kidnapped. Let it go.

You don’t go to sleep if a baby is on the floor. You just don’t. If they’re in their cot then great, nap away. Sounds like he left the baby on the floor and went to sleep. I would be furious.

think most responsible mothers would a)!get the baby to sleep
b) ensure baby was sleeping safely either in cot / Moses basket / conslepeing and then c) have a sleep herself

think some people are being obtuse here when it’s clear that the father fell asleep on the sofa whilst the baby was still awake and left to their own devices and mobile /
that is not the same at all now is it

Perfectly OK to sleep when looking after sleeping baby.

Not OK to have an 11 month old asleep on the floor with a sleeping adult who won't know if baby wakes up and crawls around the house.

When the man doesn't follow safe sleep regulations and lets a baby sleep on the floor, then yes it's not perfectly acceptable.

Huge gaps in the OP, how would you know who fell asleep first OP?

What do you mean by 'on the carpet', do you mean the child is just laying asleep on the carpet or do you mean they're on a play mat or baby gym or little bed whic h is on the floor

What has your partner said about it?

I'm curious about the amount of people saying this.
As I read it, there are two children an older baby who can almost walk on his own and a toddler.
The toddler was already napping but the baby "ended up falling asleep on the carpet" implies that the baby was awake for a bit when dad was already asleep.
If this is the case then it's not great, he should have put baby down to sleep first.

On the other hand if both the toddler and the baby zonked out and dad seized his moment to close his eyes...that would be fine.

Need clarification I think?

Tbf I think most people would assume there's a risk toddler will be up til all hours after an unscheduled 3 hour nap? Not sure that would count as a drip feed, it seems obvious.

Yeah, whether baby fell asleep first or he did, being asleep while a baby could wake up and crawl anywhere without any supervision is NOT okay. Fine if baby was in its crib or whatever.

The toddler nap would also annoy me if it meant that the toddler would now not sleep tonight. But on that one, I'd tell DH it's his problem to deal with and I'd be in the bath with a book and a large glass of wine.

OP wasn’t even there do has no way of knowing who fell asleep first (unless she has done kind of camera on them at all times). She can only take her husband’s word for it. He may or may not have told her the truth.

With an 11 month old surely the room was baby proofed and door closed, so baby wouldn't get far. A floor itself isn't inherently unsafe, you can't fall off a floor, it's the things on the floor that might be.

Given the heat, assuming in the UK then probably a good idea for toddler to siesta in the heat, and go to bed much much later. As a one off

I used to snooze on the settee every day when my dc were that age. We'd be in the same room and safe from whatever a toddler and baby may have got up to bit yes, I'd often put the TV on and just sleep for a bit.

My DH has had to look after our DD 21 months today after doing a night shift in work 11-7, she decided she didn’t fancy her usual 90 min nap this afternoon, poor DH usually gets a little nap when she’s napping..not today!!

Allow the man some rest, hey at least he told you too.

Shit happens. I've fell asleep many of times by accident looking after my 3. I'm a lone parent and once fell asleep side ways across my bed while the 3 of them caused carnage around me. No ones been hurt, it is what it is.

God my baby falls asleep on the floor all the time 😬 did DH fall asleep pre- or post- baby falling asleep? Think that’s the only issue really. My second used to regularly take 3 hour naps until he was 4 years old, never crossed my mind to complain about that!

My dick of an ex used to do this all the time, would like on settee or bed with minute baby lying on top, no matter how many times I told him he shouldn't do this, ended up him 'looking after the baby' upstairs whilst I was doing jobs downstairs, sickening thud from the wooden floor in my bedroom and baby had rolled off him. Knobhead don't even wake up until I ran in screaming. Then he acted all offended when I refused his help taking the baby to A&E.

Why are people being obtuse - the OP clearly says that the DH was sleeping and then the baby fell asleep on the carpet. It's quite clear he fell asleep leaving the baby unattended.

She hasnt said how she knows this though?

She wasnt there

If we're reading it correctly OP, and the baby fell asleep on the floor after dh did, it's definitely not OK.

I don't see where it says the baby was uncontained - unless the OP's living room is out in the wild, outdoors, no you know, house around it..

Yes, the OP says the adult fell asleep then the baby did, but I take that with a pinch of salt, without further info that is an assumption, as she was not present. It could just as easily have been the other way around.

If baby is contained in a safe room, and falls asleep on the carpet, and then the adult falls asleep... and the toddler naps too long, big deal, the adult who got the extra kip can deal with the napped-too-long toddler when the time comes.

If the baby was actually free ranging on the carpet with all the doors open onto the street and the adult fell asleep whilst baby was rampaging around, waving scissors and running with pint glasses... no, thats not ok.

Details people, the OP needs to give them and the readers need to not invent details that didn't exist.