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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asking me to do his chores as BD gift

70 replies

Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:07

Today is DH birthday
I wanted him to have a easy day (he took a day off from work) so i did morning and night routine, school rounds, cooked dinner, cleared kitchen etc. (and went to work)
I have baked a cake, decorated it, made handmade presents from DCs, and gave him a book as my present.

He then asked me:
As a gift, can you also iron my shirts, wash pumping parts (normally his task) and clean the shower (his turn this week).

I am now silently pissed because i do not want to argue on his birthday, but i want to understand…

AIBU to be so incredibly pissed of by his requests?

OP posts:
butternutsquishh · 13/07/2022 20:09

what do you normally do for birthdays?

what did he get you for your birthday? Because if he wasn’t your skivvy for the day wtf should you be his

BananaSpanner · 13/07/2022 20:10

wash pumping parts

What are his pumping parts?

ThinWomansBrain · 13/07/2022 20:10

noy sure whay pumping parts are, but organise a cleaner / ironng service?

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/07/2022 20:11

No one does housework on their birthday here. However he can wash the shower tomorrow!

rubyslippers · 13/07/2022 20:11

he can do all that tomorrow surely?!
I like a lazy day on my birthday but work etc still needs to be done - it sounds like he’s had loads of time to chill today so he can iron his own shirts

gamerchick · 13/07/2022 20:11

Does he do all of that for you on yours?

Anothernamechangeplease · 13/07/2022 20:11

He is BVU and a CF. I would say no, you've had your gift already!

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 13/07/2022 20:12

Just laugh and say 'nice try, enjoy your book' and then wait until tomorrow to ask him to hurry up and finish his jobs.

Original poster
Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:13

Sorry, maybe i need to be more specific😂, we have a 9 months old baby, and i use a pump for breastmilk when i am at work. He is normally washing the pump parts in the evening.

OP posts:
SalmonEile · 13/07/2022 20:14

Would he be due to clean the shower and iron shirts today?
if he usually washes up I’d probably do it but not the other stuff
he sounds cheeky imo unless he does all this stuff for you on your birthday (which I doubt)

Meraas · 13/07/2022 20:15

No, you’ve done plenty.

Tell him not to push his luck.

LucyLocketLostThePlot · 13/07/2022 20:16

The key question is, would he do the same for you?

est1899 · 13/07/2022 20:33

The ironing and shower clean can wait till tomorrow. When it's not his birthday and you are not his live in maid.

Original poster
Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:34

Ironing has to be done this evening because he needs the clothes for an event tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:37

I mean, he probably would do the same for me if i would be "mean" enough to ask him.
I think it's more the fact that i would have loved to spend the evening with him instead of being in the spare bedroom waiting for the iron to reach temperature

OP posts:
Anxiernie · 13/07/2022 20:37

He can wash the shower tomorrow.

Things that need doing on his birthday, I would do for him, but only if I also didn't have to do time-specific chores on my birthday.

Burnamer · 13/07/2022 20:40

I’d probably iron the one shirt he needed for tomorrow and wash up as it needs to be done today. I would not do the shower. He can do that tomorrow or the next day.

SandieCollins · 13/07/2022 20:40

Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:37

I mean, he probably would do the same for me if i would be "mean" enough to ask him.
I think it's more the fact that i would have loved to spend the evening with him instead of being in the spare bedroom waiting for the iron to reach temperature

Blimey! How long does it take to heat up?

mewkins · 13/07/2022 20:40

Just tell him you haven't got time.

5zeds · 13/07/2022 20:41

Ironing a shirt takes a few minutes as does washing a pump. Shower can be done tomorrow. One of you iron one of you wash up and then have a drink together.

Fifi0102 · 13/07/2022 20:42

I would I would rather someone did the cleaning and tidying rather than give me handmade gifts and books.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/07/2022 20:42

Well in fairness, if it's instead of a bought gift I would probably do the extra stuff and buy myself something nice instead. It would be a one day deal only, but now I think about it, it would be nice not to have to do tedious chores for a day.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/07/2022 20:44

Oh I see you gave him a book. Hmm, well in that case I would do it on the understanding he does the same on my birthday.

Tiani4 · 13/07/2022 20:49

If shirt takes 15 mins to iron i'd do that

He can clean shower tomorrow not on his birthday
This isn't a do all his jobs for the week present!

Cleaning out Breast pump well .., umm... super if you do that as he does something for you another day

It seems like you waited on him all day took care of DVs all day and already did all his jobs 12 hours ago all morning and afternoon and he's still expecting more . Sheesh 🙄

I hope you ask for same on your birthday . If he didn't do all of what you did for your birthday or it wss recent and not coming up soon, I would say "nah you are taking the pee mate, you did none of that for me on my birthday"

1000yellowdaisies · 13/07/2022 20:50

No way would i agree to that you've done enough. I have a close friend and about 3 years ago i asked her what she wanted for her birthday (as we always do) and she said that this year rather than getting material gifts she was asking friends to 'spend their time on her' and she asked me if i would clean her oven as her gift.
I said absolutely not you can have a bottle of wine! Fortunately we are close s9 it was all fine. She is a single parent but so am i and i thought that was cheeky!

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