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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH asking me to do his chores as BD gift

70 replies

Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:07

Today is DH birthday
I wanted him to have a easy day (he took a day off from work) so i did morning and night routine, school rounds, cooked dinner, cleared kitchen etc. (and went to work)
I have baked a cake, decorated it, made handmade presents from DCs, and gave him a book as my present.

He then asked me:
As a gift, can you also iron my shirts, wash pumping parts (normally his task) and clean the shower (his turn this week).

I am now silently pissed because i do not want to argue on his birthday, but i want to understand…

AIBU to be so incredibly pissed of by his requests?

OP posts:

Penguinsaregreat · 13/07/2022 22:31

I hope he is going to do all the chores, bake you a cake, cook for you, and go to work on your birthday.

UWhatNow · 13/07/2022 22:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SnackSizeRaisin · 13/07/2022 22:41

1000yellowdaisies · 13/07/2022 20:50

No way would i agree to that you've done enough. I have a close friend and about 3 years ago i asked her what she wanted for her birthday (as we always do) and she said that this year rather than getting material gifts she was asking friends to 'spend their time on her' and she asked me if i would clean her oven as her gift.
I said absolutely not you can have a bottle of wine! Fortunately we are close s9 it was all fine. She is a single parent but so am i and i thought that was cheeky!

That's cheeky. It costs about sixty quid to get an oven cleaned. A job that would cost a tenner would be more reasonable. An hour's childcare perhaps

Quia · 13/07/2022 22:42

Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:34

Ironing has to be done this evening because he needs the clothes for an event tomorrow.

Can't he do that tomorrow? Presumably it's not much more than a shirt that needs to be ironed?

Tombero · 13/07/2022 22:44

I’d iron and wash pumping parts if it got me out of the non spontaneous bj / sex requirement. (light-hearted)

Jossfromtenko · 13/07/2022 22:44

A book? I got my husband a Camero for his birthday and a weekend away from the brats

RustyShackleford3 · 13/07/2022 22:47

I'd probably wash the pumping parts since that only takes 2 mins, and presumably you're washing up from dinner anyway? (Nobody washes up on their birthday in our house, I believe this rule is universal)

I wouldn't clean the shower. That takes longer and can be done tomorrow instead. He's pushing his luck.

I'm not sure what to say about the ironing. I own an iron but I've only used it once. I can't remember how long it took to heat up. For all I know, it could have been hours. Maybe even days. Good luck with that one.

CatLadyDrinksGin · 13/07/2022 22:48

He can get up 5 min early in the morning and iron his shirt or go crumpled. I’d do the pump parts as they’re for my use. The shower he can do tomorrow evening. And he can forget a bj.

Summersolargirl · 13/07/2022 22:49

What kinda book was it? Can’t say I’d be thrilled with just that.

I mean if you don’t want to do the chores don’t. But past that you really just did the school run, made dinner and cleaned after. It’s hardly the spectacular effort you’re making out 😂

allboysherebutme · 13/07/2022 22:54

wash pumping parts (normally his task) 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Make sure you write a long list of jobs you want doing on your birthday 🎂. X

MichelleScarn · 13/07/2022 22:59

Summersolargirl · 13/07/2022 22:49

What kinda book was it? Can’t say I’d be thrilled with just that.

I mean if you don’t want to do the chores don’t. But past that you really just did the school run, made dinner and cleaned after. It’s hardly the spectacular effort you’re making out 😂

And is it a book he'll want or something like 'how to be a better you?.....

LetHimHaveIt · 13/07/2022 23:17

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

A third finding this all completely barking.

1iquid · 13/07/2022 23:24

Why does he need the shower cleaned tonight specifically? What has happened in the shower?

Whst does he do on your birthday OP?

Let me guess ...... Sod all????

Ragwort · 13/07/2022 23:29

You both sound bonkers - as a PP mentioned I can envisage you with a chart and stickers for when you complete a job. .

How long does it take to iron a shirt?

MatildaTheCat · 13/07/2022 23:51

Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:13

Sorry, maybe i need to be more specific😂, we have a 9 months old baby, and i use a pump for breastmilk when i am at work. He is normally washing the pump parts in the evening.

Ask him if he will take over breastfeeding when it’s your birthday.

just say No. he’s being a CF and that needs nipping in the bud.

Dweetfidilove · 14/07/2022 00:12

The chores sound awfully regimented 😒

CactusBlossom · 14/07/2022 00:17

Get your list ready for your birthday...

Sweetener12 · 14/07/2022 09:14

Honestly, I'd decline. A gift is something that is given out of free will and while one may express their wishes, fulfilling them is not a must. Don't do this if you don't want to and go for a whatever gift you've planned or a simple Smartshow 3d video card + a gift card or anything else.

NoitsNott · 14/07/2022 09:25

Some people like organizing their chores. Its not weird at all to me. We don't clean when we feel like its needed cuz if we do that, things just pile up and never gets done. To each their own.

I don't think its a big deal if your DH ask you to some of his chores as birthday gift. The way I see it is he probs just thought "hmmm lets see if i can get out of doing some chores since its my BD"

And like you said he would probs do that same for you. My advice to you is don't get into an argument or be resentful; for something simple as this.

Be very careful OP cuz MN will tell you that he's a lazy bastard and you need to throw him out of the house tonight!!

ChaToilLeam · 14/07/2022 09:31

Tell him he’s had his pressies! (Tinkly laugh 😆)

I don’t find it weird to have organized chores, it means everyone knows what they are doing and when. Tonight it’s bathroom cleaning night and DP is doing it.

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