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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asking me to do his chores as BD gift

70 replies

Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:07

Today is DH birthday
I wanted him to have a easy day (he took a day off from work) so i did morning and night routine, school rounds, cooked dinner, cleared kitchen etc. (and went to work)
I have baked a cake, decorated it, made handmade presents from DCs, and gave him a book as my present.

He then asked me:
As a gift, can you also iron my shirts, wash pumping parts (normally his task) and clean the shower (his turn this week).

I am now silently pissed because i do not want to argue on his birthday, but i want to understand…

AIBU to be so incredibly pissed of by his requests?

OP posts:
Tiani4 · 13/07/2022 20:50

DH not DV

Tiani4 · 13/07/2022 20:50

Oh no I meant DCs not DV

Scianel · 13/07/2022 20:57

Okay so given what pumping means in Scotland, that was quite the mental image I had of you cleaning his pumping parts.

Aposterhasnoname · 13/07/2022 21:00

15 minutes to iron one shirt, and all evening to wait for the iron to heat up! Fuck I’m doing it wrong. Maybe I should do the mumsnet take in ironing thing, cos one shirt would take me less than five minutes, including heating up the iron.

YRGAM · 13/07/2022 21:03

YABU. No chores on your birthday in our house, you don't lift a finger. It's like a Haredi Jewish Sabbath. You should have done them anyway before he asked!

Bonjovispjs · 13/07/2022 21:03

I didn't read properly and thought you said pumping pants, thought he had pants especially to fart in and I was going to say he should definitely wash those himself😂

diddl · 13/07/2022 21:14

Why didn't you tell him no as he had already had his presents?

He could do the shower another day.

Ironing a couple of shirts & cleaning "pumping parts" surely doesn't take long?

Of course it's nice to do fuck all on your birthday-but sometimes things need doing & he would still have had an easy day!

MichelleScarn · 13/07/2022 21:14

Scianel · 13/07/2022 20:57

Okay so given what pumping means in Scotland, that was quite the mental image I had of you cleaning his pumping parts.

Now have the horrors of over hearing boy teen talk on the train 😑
'Totally pumped 'Senga' on Saturday night'
'Did ye aye'...
😆

jay55 · 13/07/2022 21:20

Ironing in this heat sounds like torture.

Tothemoonandbackx · 13/07/2022 21:32

Throw him a blow job in too for God sake.......how dare you take care of the kids all day, make him his dinner, bake him a homemade cake AND decorate it too.....the fact you also helped make hand made gifts from your kids AND had the audacity to buy him a book......you monster you....and all of this on his Birthday, no wonder hes wanting you to do the ironing, pumping and cleaning out thw shower, you clearly haven't done enough for him.......😂😂😂😂😂😂...
.....but seriously, nah....I wouldn't, he should have thought about the ironing before, they're his clothes after, he's just being a CF seeing as it's his B'day, he probably thinks you'll happily oblige Xx

Bubblesandsqueak1 · 13/07/2022 21:40

Haha made me laugh I would just do it to be honest we do no chores on our birthday its a chill day we also do yes days as fun so we can't say no the child is more into this 😄 also no of those jobs take longer then an hour topsinless he has like 50 shirts

Hilda40 · 13/07/2022 21:55

I lost all sympathy at the need for ironing by either of you.

TRAPPPED · 13/07/2022 21:58

It's his birthday... of course you should deal with his, urm, "pumping parts" 😉

Anyway - I'd laugh at this. If DH asked this in advance then fine, it's his request and I'll consider it. But you can't wait until after you've received your birthday gift and then demand another one (or another many). That's rude. I'd avoid the argument by focusing on his pumping parts.

AffIt · 13/07/2022 21:59

How long does your iron take to heat up? Do you live in 1897?

Talipesmum · 13/07/2022 22:01

I can see why you might be annoyed if it wouldn’t be the same in reverse on your birthday, but I’d def be doing those jobs for my DH on his birthday, and he’d def be doing them for me on mine, we wouldn’t be asking. The shower could stay dirty though.

Topseyt123 · 13/07/2022 22:03

I wouldn't agree to any of that bollocks.

He can clean the shower tomorrow or another day. As for ironing, well what is that? We don't do ironing in this house.

Trytoavoidthebastardbus · 13/07/2022 22:08

If he wanted his birthday ‘off’ then he should have done what was needed yesterday.

SheepingStandingUp · 13/07/2022 22:10

Santorini22 · 13/07/2022 20:37

I mean, he probably would do the same for me if i would be "mean" enough to ask him.
I think it's more the fact that i would have loved to spend the evening with him instead of being in the spare bedroom waiting for the iron to reach temperature

Well surely you wouldn't be together BECAUSE HE'D be in the spare room waiting for the iron to heat up.

Anyway you just laugh and say no chance, you've had your present! The pump I don't think needs to be such an onerous activity surely so I'd have just done that when I did the washing up. Shower can be done tomorrow.

SheSaidHummingbird · 13/07/2022 22:12

What's wrong with saying no?

MarshaMelrose · 13/07/2022 22:12

It's ironing one outfit of clothes. How long can that take? You could have washed the breast pump in the time it took you to write this. And cleaning the shower isn't a mammoth task. It only takes me 15mins to do the whole bathroom. If he was mean with the cleaning, maybe I'd be more sympathetic, but the fact that he'd do it for you...

NoSquirrels · 13/07/2022 22:16

He then asked me:
As a gift, can you also iron my shirts, wash pumping parts (normally his task) and clean the shower (his turn this week).

“I can iron your shirts OR wash the breast pump - which do you want to do and I’ll do the other? But the shower’s all yours, you can clean it tomorrow. I’ve done all the rest of the chores today, cheeky sod!”

Said with a smile.

Tractordiggerdump · 13/07/2022 22:20

So, 10 minutes tops. Or are you a household of faffers?

MichelleScarn · 13/07/2022 22:23

Don't you wash/rinse the pump out as soon as you've finished using it?!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/07/2022 22:25

The chores in your house sound very rigidly organised. Do you have a wall chart and give one another stars on it for completion? Can't you both just do shit when it looks like it's needed?

How often does a shower need cleaning that someone has to specifically do it today?

AgathaMystery · 13/07/2022 22:29

AffIt · 13/07/2022 21:59

How long does your iron take to heat up? Do you live in 1897?

Honestly MN is on FIRE tonight 😂