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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I can work p/t night shifts and be a SAHM during the day? I can make this work, right?

79 replies

lpsyUpsyDaisyDoo · 12/07/2022 17:47

DH and I have two DC, aged 2y8m and 7m. DH wfh 3 days a week, the other two he’s in the office in London (we live in Home Counties). Currently DC1 goes to a childminder 1 day a week as that’s all we can afford.

DH gives me a set amount of money per month and I also get the child benefit paid into my bank account (I know that might seem odd to some but I’m happy with that arrangement).

Like a lot of people we’re starting to feel the squeeze and our finances are stretched pretty thin, so I started looking for part time jobs that I could work around looking after DC. I applied for and have been offered one which was basically the most optimal hours I think I’d be able to find as it doesn’t cut into my time with the DC at all.

It’s 20 or 25 hours per week, hours are 9pm-2am over 4/5 nights- 1 weekend night per month. It will be mostly WFH, would only be required to go into the office a couple of times a month. But even then the office is a short distance away - a 10 minute bike ride or (if/when I pass my test but that’s a whole other situation), a 5 minute drive.

At the moment this is how I see it working- I can do bedtime with the DC, will be able to have dinner with DH before I leave/start work. When wfh I can basically work in my pyjamas and be in bed by 2:10, on office days would be home and in bed by 2:30. Sleep for 5/6 hours, DH does DC2 night feed and wakes me when he’s starting work or on days he’s in the office just whenever the baby monitor DC wake me up. During the day, drink a shitload of assam, nap when the DC are napping- DC1 is pretty reliable nap-wise and will usually go down for a couple of hours in the afternoon- with DC2 it’s kind of all or nothing, some days will only go down for a short period in the cot but is usually happy to nap on me so I can doze on the sofa at the same time.

One issue is that obviously there is training involved, and that training would need to take place during the core office hours. I need to figure out how we would manage that as we would need to have both DC in childcare- our childminder has the space but obviously we would need to pay upfront and that’s money we don’t really have at present. We’ve got some money coming from DH’s employer’s share scheme in September but I don’t think it’s realistic to not start until then. Plus I’m not keen on the idea of putting DC2 in full time childcare at 7mo even if it is only for a few weeks. So need to figure out how we would manage that.

Pros:

-I’ll be earning my own money so DH won’t need to give me any. We could afford to put DC1 in childcare for an extra day until January, when the 30 funded hours would kick in. In the meantime we’ll be eligible for tax-free childcare so would be able to save some money that way.

-It’s a really nice company, has a great reputation as a local employer and has some really good benefits. They’re expanding and have a lot of emphasis on nurturing their own talent so there’s quite a lot of scope for progression.

-It won’t take me away from the DC at all- I’d be around for bedtime, DH already does DC2’s night feed so no change there. Obviously I’ll still be with them during the day so we won’t have to change our usual routine in any way.

-At the moment our mortgage is solely in DH’s name; this was necessary as I had a pretty sketchy credit history and was unemployed when we were looking to move. With this job I’d be able to keep building up my credit score and have a few years earning behind me which will put us in a better position for our next (and hopefully last!) move in 4 or 5 years, maybe sooner.

-I’ll be getting earning money. I’ll be able to pay for stuff. Like more driving lessons if I don’t pass my test, or things like swimming lessons for the DC which we just can’t manage at the moment.

Cons:

-I’ll be fucking knackered.

Is this do-able or am I crazy to even be thinking about it?

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 13/07/2022 14:45

I hope that you can work out the training period, it sounds like a great opportunity!

Yes, you'll be tired, but it just might work! Good luck!

LillyDeValley · 13/07/2022 14:48

Yes you can do it. Yes it will be exhausting but you will survive. Needs must.

Ponderingwindow · 13/07/2022 14:52

I have a neighbor who works a shift like that. Her husband does mornings with the kids and then drops the children at nursery for a half day on his way to work so that she can get a full block of sleep. The thing is that you can’t really expect to just come home and instantly switch off and fall asleep within minutes.

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 13/07/2022 14:56

Short term yes its possible. I reckon you'll be knackered though. Longer term is sounds like a recipe for burnout, but does depend on how much sleep you need, how easy you find it to go to sleep etc. I suffered with insomnia and would no way be able to do this, as I simply couldn't get straight to sleep as is needed to get any kind of decent rest.

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