School reports

[lollipoprainbow]

So dd10 came out of school today clutching her school report anxiously, a girl in front of her with her dad ripped her envelope open and then exclaimed 'all A's yay!!'. Aibu to think that school reports should either be posted home or to save postage collected from the teacher at home time and then taken home to read. ? My dd was all upset as she knew she wasn't going to get A's!! She did ok though and I tried to reassure her.

He sounds like the kind of dickhead parent I was happy to avoid due to having a childminder. Honestly, so pleased that I rarely had to deal with twats like that in the playground.
And yes, they should be put in book bags, or handed directly to parents.

Well he sounds like an insecure competitive attention seeker, but in general I don't think it's necessarily a good thing to hide from the fact that some kids do very well at school and will be better academically than your child.

Yabu, it doesn't have anything to do with your dd. He didn't do that to spite her 🙄. He's obviously very happy that she worked hard enough to get all A's.

She’s 10! By 11 we got them open in front of our peers. I’d be teaching your DD some resilience.

Sorry, was it the little girl or the dad that said yay? If it's the girl, she's allowed to be happy about her report.

Eitherway, I'm not sure how that would be stopped. It would cost a fortune to post all of the reports and if handed to parents, they can just pass them straight to their child anyway.

Not an English state school I presume? What are the As for - attainment or effort?

Do primary schools really give out 'grades' ? I've never come across it.

Exactly. This place is ridiculous at times. The girl worked hard to get excellent results, so her parents must hide away because your dd is around. 🙄

What can a 10 year old even get an A in?
Isn't it usually working towards/working at/working above, in primary?

DC primary send them home with the kids usually tucked into their school bags. Iv never had this in playground. What kind of ass parent does that.

Never have I seen a school report for a ten year old in recent years that uses such a nice simple system as A’s and B’s. Generally they are (to me at least) in some weird code of numbers, route paths/targets and all other gobbledegook that takes hours to decipher. And this seems to change all the time.

I sympathise OP as I think this touched a raw nerve for you.

However, I don't think it's a good approach to try to shield children from disappointment or feeling upset about things: much better to let it happen, talk about things and move on, so your DC learns how to process their feelings.

It's a shame your daughter was upset, but I don't think you can really expect children and parents to always avoid referring to achievements in public. Insisting reports should remain sealed and not looked at until they are at home is unreasonable. You can't hide from children the fact that they won't all get the same grades - they do talk about these things!

Private school OP? A in state school means ‘working at expected levels’. E would mean exceeding. Or it could have been A for effort. Not convinced by your post really…

Stop thinking so much about other people. He's enjoying his kid's school report. No one's even thinking about you and yours.

Teach your kid to focus on her own issues and not to be earwigging on other people's.

Never heard of a primary school giving letter grades?

People are missing the point. I'm guessing op dc already knows exactly where she is in the academic ability in her class, my 8yr old with Sen certainly does. Kids who aren't as academically able or have learning disability are often already anxious that they aren't good enough. They dont need ass parents shouting about As in the playground. Reports should be private.

Private schools do. When I was at school we got ranked in class too, thankfully I was always near the top but my sister wasn't and it destroyed her self esteem.

My kids are at state primary, their best mate is going to a super selective, they are not. No one cares it's such a nicer environment. They'll stay in touch as much as they would with any of the other kids going to different schools.

My 9yo brought his home and buggered off entirely unconcerned.

I think that from an early age it’s good to help kids understand that we have different strengths.

Where is this the 1930s?

A's? 🥴

To be fair, my primary age child has been given A/B/C/D effort grades and 0/1/2/3 attainment grades all the way through primary. And I'd be very pleased to open an envelope and see she'd been graded too for effort in everything.

At DDs school they gave out reports right at the end on the last day and no one opened them but an hour later everyone was telling each other what grades they got in the class whatsapp group anyway (well, mostly just if they got any 10s but some said all their grades).
I agree it's better that they don't open them and exclaim over them at the school but sometimes that'll happen, no need to make a big deal of it.

Waste of money then for you if it is a private school.

Are they grading them at state primaries now?.

We got reports Friday. Both my DDs wanted us to open them and read them right away, so we were doing this in the playground (not reading them out loud!). It never occurred to me that we couldn't speak to our own children about their reports until we were behind closed doors.