To be angry with the other woman in labour ward

[Eole]

I'm due to be induced due to oligohydroamniosis or however you spell it.
I've been at the hospital since Friday. Been waiting around 72 hours
First 24 on a chair in a waiting room.
Not allowed to go home, baby needs to be monitored
Could be worse I could be one of the women in labour waiting on a chair outside
Completely fed up
Woman in the bed next to me is chewing loudly
And has a cold but has no idea about the concept of nose blowing
Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off with her?
Really I should be pissed off with the state of the nhs
I don't mind waiting
I need her to stop making noise
The hospital has capacity for 4 inductions a day
There are 17 of us in a day
Bottleneck is staffing and bed shortages
Neighbouring hospitals full
Local private hospitals also full
Please send help

Even 20 years ago it was horrible. I wasn't in ante-natal ward, went straight to labour suite, but I did think the post-natal ward was horrible - all the effort getting the baby safely out and then the post natal midwives were rubbish. I couldn't get out of there quickly enough. And our local hospital is meant to be one of the best. My notes have constant references to my wanting to get home. Yes, so I could sleep and not risk infection. They really didn't want to let me go (only because I hadn't established breast-feeding - if I'd waited for that I would have been there two weeks) but I insisted in the end.

Commiserations OP. The NHS is on its knees, but maternity care is rubbish and as far as I can make out, always has been.

Is there anyone campaigning to improve this? Why is it so shit? Why can't the wards have strict partner visiting hours/no playing music or TV shows without headphones policies? Why do the curtains need to be open

because we are still so puritanical in the UK and women are not supposed to have sex, even within marriage, for procreation! Women in France are reportedly much better looked after post-natally.

They said it was because some babies need the sunlight? No other reason at all.

Oh and that it’s nice to have other ladies to speak to that are going through the same as you ….

There are many other options including walking in the shade and laughing lots and lots to allow the happy hormones to do their job.

Well you could, but while I didn't want to be induced, it would have been difficult to walk in the shade laughing when my blood pressure was through the roof and I knew I had pre-eclampsia...

When there aren't enough staff to monitor people at frequent intervals, the choice is between privacy and safety, I'm afraid. I think most people would opt for safety.

It's awful for the women in labour, but it must be pretty shit for the staff, too. Imagine never being able to do your job properly because there simply isn't time?

It's no wonder the NHS is having terrible problems with staff retention. I used to know 4 nurses, 2 midwives and a phsyio. Not one of them is still in NHS, they've either retired early, changed career, left to work abroad or gone to the private sector.

I hope it doesn't go on too much longer, OP, and that everything goes well. 💐

My eldest is in his 50s. When he was born they had nowhere to put me, they needed the delivery room, no room in post or ante natal wards. Uncomplicated cases were being housed in the condemned children's ward that the children had been moved out of. In the end I was put in a linen cupboard, it was a big cupboard but not much room once I was wheeled in and cot beside me. I did have a nice quiet sleep though.

I can’t believe you had to wait on a chair.
or that labouring women do.
That is a low I didn’t think the NHS would ever reach.

I was also left on a chair for hours in active labour, until I ended up vomiting all over it.
Was also promised an epidural but denied at the last minute.
And threatened with a C section if I didn't progress quickly enough, despite the fact my contractions were slowing because I was left on a plastic chair in a blindingly lit waiting room...
Not a great experience tbh.

Because women with their 'women's issues' like giving birth are just not seen as important. Wards are cheaper, require less staff as well. Someone mentioned that there was a new hospital built and all other departments were double or private rooms, except for one - the one where women who have just given birth and are trying to breastfeed, bleeding and half naked. I mean really, why would they need any privacy, or sleep, right?

I've given birth in 2 European countries, in both hospitals there were max 2 beds per room.

I think it has swung from one extreme to the other. When I had mine 50 years ago I was in a long Nightingale ward, I think 24 women and yes the curtains were left open as if there was only one midwife around she could see everyone. It was like a strict boarding school (or prison) so visiting was 1 person for an hour each day with an extra visit on Wednesday and Sunday afternoon. No children allowed, no food to be brought in. No television but there was a tv lounge down the corridor. If your dresssing gown was left on the bed Sister would be annoyed and tell you that you were making the ward undity. We did campaign for husbands to be allowed at the birth and for more visiting and it sounds like we might have created a monster.

The relaxtion of rules was initially welcomed but I think the visitors on the ward all the time and noise from TVs and radios is too much.

This is partly why I'm having no more children unless we can afford to go private.

I totally misunderstood the heading of this. I thought your husband was having an affair and the other woman was pregnant and in labour.

I hope you have some answers though soon and are able to go home (I read your post!)

I had mine 13 odd years ago, and it wasn't brilliant then, but it sounds like maternity services have descended into a circle of hell since then. I hope you have a smooth delivery & are off on your way soon OP

My seriously ill stepdad waited 10 hours for an ambulance in March - my Mum said the paramedics, when they arrived, were lovely, apologetic & moved like the clappers to take him to hospital. He then spent 26 hours on a trolley in A&E, unfed & unwashed, before being moved to a ward containing 3 covid patients - he had leukemia - so my mum couldn't visit him. He died 8 days later, fortunately mum was called in & was with him when he passed. I knew things were difficult but bloody hell :/

Curtains, wards, visiting hours? You need to set your campaigns higher.

these aren’t even things in other places where maternity wards are filled with nothing but private rooms. It’s better for disease control and provides better rest and recovery

I thought your husband was having an affair and the other woman was pregnant and in labour.
😂😂😂

That sounds absolutely horrific.

24 hours on a chair.

You poor woman.

When I was induced with DS I caught covd which resulted in a private room and limitless visits from DH and all the tea and toast in the world. 10/10 would recommend

When there aren't enough staff to monitor people at frequent intervals, the choice is between privacy and safety, I'm afraid. I think most people would opt for safety

Isn't it funny how some NHS postnatal wards (like the one I birthed in 5 years ago) have only individual en-suite rooms and still seem to manage not to kill anyone whilst respecting their patients' privacy and the fact that we are no longer in the fucking Crimean war to be arranged for the staff's convenience.

Sympathies op, those chairs are not comfortable. The NHS is on its knees, when I think of all the billions of ££££ wasted by this government it makes my blood boil
iI needed to call for help for DH at the weekend, he’d had bad fall on the bus. I Dialled 111 and listened to recorded messages for four minutes. I gave up and dialled 999 instead. I can’t believe that I was put into a queue to speak to someone, . Reassuringly the call handler did keep coming back on the line every 30 seconds asking ‘ is the patient still breathing, is his condition worse?’ I suppose she’d have put us to the top of the queue if he had.
Once in A&E and a long wait on those chairs, he was seen and treated really well, can’t fault the nhs staff. He’s got fractured ribs,

Oh my god reading this has given me flashbacks about being induced with DD4.

Two nights with no sleep in a bed next to the loo bin (CLANG of the lid every time someone went to the loo and washed their hands. CLANG every time anyone threw anything away. No sleep, no rest, no peace. No sign of labour.

Induction wasn't working. I begged to go home. They said no. DH very distressed. I cried to go home. They said no. But no beds to induce me on. DH beside himself!

I began packing my bags and saying i was driving myself home. Suddenly - a bed became available!! They took me to be induced at QUARTER TO TEN at night on night 3. I was so tired i couldn't listen to instructions or consent to anything or push properly.

OP - good luck x

Yip makes it more difficult for staff to monitor patients.
Also patients to my well be entering PND etc.

It's also selfish to the women and babies on the inside of the room. Really depressing not to get any daylight. And worrying for babies who are verging on jaundice.

Oh god this was what it was like when I was induced with my son
days sitting next to a women making the most disgusting noises, chewing loudly, constant moaning sounded like she was having an orgasm, went on for days. Always on FaceTime day night, couldn’t even drink water without slapping her mouth together. Ruined the birth experience. After DS was born I asked for private room

Can't really offer you any help but couldn't read and ignore. This sounds completely awful and I hope your induction goes smoothly and you can be out of there as soon as possible. I was induced November 2020 so really strict covid regulations, lots of confusion re partner being allowed with me during labour etc but THANKFULLY my induction went relatively fast so I wasn't left waiting like you are. (After care in the maternity ward was absolutely diabolical though so be prepared....) Gosh it makes me so angry the way you're being treated. Can you ask for a private room (you will have to pay) but might make things more bearable? sending you all the best.

That sounds utterly horrific OP. I wish you all the luck in the world with staying calm, comfy and a healthy delivery.

I feel very lucky about my birth in Oct 2020; own room, birthing pool, lots of space and care. This seems to be a rarity, so I'm scared about birthing this baby in January.