To be angry with the other woman in labour ward

[Eole]

I'm due to be induced due to oligohydroamniosis or however you spell it.
I've been at the hospital since Friday. Been waiting around 72 hours
First 24 on a chair in a waiting room.
Not allowed to go home, baby needs to be monitored
Could be worse I could be one of the women in labour waiting on a chair outside
Completely fed up
Woman in the bed next to me is chewing loudly
And has a cold but has no idea about the concept of nose blowing
Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off with her?
Really I should be pissed off with the state of the nhs
I don't mind waiting
I need her to stop making noise
The hospital has capacity for 4 inductions a day
There are 17 of us in a day
Bottleneck is staffing and bed shortages
Neighbouring hospitals full
Local private hospitals also full
Please send help

My antenatal & postnatal ward have a open curtain policy 😩 unless breastfeeding or changing.

Could not believe it after not sleeping in the hospital for 4 days before the birth then giving birth and finally drifting off, a midwife whipped the curtain open and shouted that curtains are to stay open, as the signs say.

How absolutely hideous. I'd never have been able to sleep like that. I think I'd have found myself breastfeeding all the time just to keep the curtains closed.

you could easily solve this with headphones

I sympathise, OP. There is something about labour wards...and I certainly realised what a sheltered existence I lead after being in there with pre-eclampsia. Horrible aggressive woman across from me who shouted racist abuse at any passing member of staff of patient who caught her eye. Had very firm views about baby's clothing and was sounding off to her partner about (swear, swear) people who put girls in blue rather than pink, which of course is the only colour for a girl.

I just tried to zone out and not attract her attention. Also dreaded my husband coming in with my toddler daughter...who was always in blue!!!

Thanks everyone just needed some words of encouragement. I feel murderous rage towards the lady but thankfully DH is here to stop any disinhibited/ socially unacceptable urges. I have headphones and have actually been saving Stranger Things for the induction. Just it would be nice to take them out from time to time.

I’m past the pessary stage now waiting on a balloon and then the drip at the labour ward, they told me I can’t go very far but I do agree if I went home for a cheeky kip no one would be the wiser.

Can’t help but think that if it was men who gave birth this system would be a lot smoother.

Regardless, absolutely unacceptable waiting times. Not just for maternity services but everything. Heaven help anyone with something life threatening.

Headphones
earplugs

if not, you’re gonna have to smother her.

They have worked hard at it and at last the tories have succeeded- the nhs is not functioning now.
it is on its knees. The clinical staff have been shouting about this for years and years but no one knows how bad it is unless they have had to use it.
It is very very sad and don’t know thd answer as to fund it properly would probably bankrupt the country - so many many years of under investment,
So so sorry OP that you are going through this now.

Hopes it got quickly OP.

It sounds hellish, for you and the staff who shouldn’t have to work with these levels of stress. I’m sure there’s not a midwife in the land who wants any pregnant mum to sit on a chair in a corridor for hours on end.
Headphones, soothing music or try some hypnotherapy, lots on YouTube.
Good luck with the induction/ birth.

There's a french film called 'I am not an easy man.' It's about this womanising guy who bangs his head and ends up in an alterative reality where women are seen as the stronger sex.

There's this one scene I found facinating where a female character gives birth. The whole labour room is designed for her benefit (not the doctor's) and she's able to give birth in a standing / squatting position with the equiptment.

Being a french movie it has its quirky moments, but some very interesting commentary in there about the roles of men and women.

Anyways, what you said just reminded me of it. I wish you luck with your induction and not strangling your roomate.

I can’t believe you had to wait on a chair.
or that labouring women do.
That is a low I didn’t think the NHS would ever reach.
I gave birth and was induced during the height of covid and, I don’t want to rub it in, had a totally different experience in terms of space allocated to me.

i just can’t get over what you are saying.

i really feel for you. Praying things improve for you

Oh god you're giving me flash backs. Are you allowed to go for a walk? I was encouraged to walk around the hospital when i had my induction to try and help get things going...soon you will have your lovely baby and it will all be a distant memory 💐

you may have been fuming but I do see the point...if you pass out or haemhorrage or anything else, staff can't see what is going on.

Sounds horrendous. Really sorry for you.
1.ear plugs/earphones
2.eyemask

1. Watch something amusing or uplifting
2. Rest/sleep whenever you can

Hope it over swiftly and safely.
Good luck

Not unreasonable at all - I can't believe how badly we can be treated when we're at our 'most vulnerable'. The women on my post-natal ward were really mean if I'm honest - they all knew each other (they'd been in for a bit longer than me) and they were a bit mean. They were also incredibly loud!! Sending love

You poor thing OP. During my "induction" with dc3 I ended up going into labour while waiting for them to start me off. They said I could have another 2 hours before they would have to intervene with the drip but by then I was pushing. In your situation the cafe is your friend. Ask the midwives if you can go for a walk to help speed things up and go to the cafe, have a nice cold drink and either ask a friend or 2 to meet you there for a chat or just enjoy the slight change of scene and a break from the chewing lady. I got my PIL to bring my toddler in when I was in early labour with dc3. We had a lovely long walk round the hospital corridors, great distraction.

Hi op, feeling so sorry for you, especially if you’re suffering the heatwave we’ve got down south!

If you can safely go home, do.

also just to note - I was induced with my first during a busy time (all local hospitals closed to new maternity admissions; the were shipping them off miles to further off counties. Anyway I wanted to warn you, it could be busy AFTER your labour too; I didn’t even get a space on the post-natal ward I was sent back to the antenatal ward for 11 hours with my newborn, and was told to “be careful to stay awake and watchful as there is no proper security here, and people do snatch newborns”. Which was VERY tough after a difficult 36 hours in hospital being induced. Also my dh was sent home as the antenatal visiting hours didn’t permit him to stay, it was absolutely wretched. Going to the loo to change pads when I was bleeding profusely, and worrying that while you were in the loo someone might steal your baby was utterly terrifying (the nurses weren’t always available to watch the baby when I needed the loo).

fThis was 12 years ago. I’m sad that services are still under so much strain. Wishing you all the luck in the world; stay calm, advocate for yourself, and remember: after all this you will get to meet your new baby. It is SO worth it!

I’d be more worried about having an induction tbh

How is that at all helpful?!

@TallulahBetty offering some perspective. Op would be better off reading up on inductions so she can advocate for herself than worrying about someone in the next bed’s snotty nose.

Your post was clearly insinuating that inductions are something to be worried about, which is not necessarily true. And definitely not helpful to say to someone facing being induced, who is clearly upset about other things already

I read so many threads and posts about how hellish these wards are. I never experienced it as I have birth during Covid (which had its own challenges...).

Is there anyone campaigning to improve this? Why is it so shit? Why can't the wards have strict partner visiting hours/no playing music or TV shows without headphones policies? Why do the curtains need to be open?

Just baffling

Ah man, I was in induction for 4 days and post natal for 5 days and transitional for a day. I had my own room three times but shared a ward initially in postnatal and by the end just wanted to walk out. One woman kept talking but repeating the same words over and over to her baby, which is fine, but soooo loudly at 3am is not needed. And she sung loudly, too! Like we are all knackered and need sleep, have some consideration! Even the solo rooms have walls so thin so I do sympathise with you. Hope baby is out soon and you can be home quickly!

But the wishes and privacy of the women is completely irrelevant....?

Offer her a tissue!
I get so annoyed by snotty sniffly noses, I always offer them one of my tissues and they get the hint!

There's no such thing as "not allowed". You consented to stay in a building and sit on a chair whilst heavily pregnant.
Some women there have consented to be induced.
Both situations are a choice. You are choosing to be surrounded by strangers at this time.
24 hour monitoring is almost always followed by interventions.
There are many other options including walking in the shade and laughing lots and lots to allow the happy hormones to do their job.