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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sisters new puppy

110 replies

OhSwe3tBaby · 11/07/2022 08:00

I gave birth on Wednesday after a very hard pregnancy. Then on Friday out of the blue my sister buys a new puppy. My sister still lives at home with my parents. This is my seccond child, I moved out of my parents a few years ago.

Yesterday I went round my mums for the afternoon, all my siblings were there with their children too, playing in the pool and we ordered some food, sat in the garden. I got there later than others and when I arrived my sisters new puppy is sat on the only shaded chair around the table, I had to move a chair away from the table to sit with my newborn in the shade. The whole time we were there the topic was about the new puppy and only a few family members had brief holds with my newborn but all seemed to fuss and hold the puppy for alot longer.

I just feel like my newborns limelight of beeing new to the family has been stolen by my sisters new puppy and it was selfish of her to get a new puppy the week I give birth. She had also previously offered to take a few days off after I gave birth and my partner had gone back to work to help me and when I mentioned it she said she's taking a few days off over the next few weeks to be at home with her new puppy and I can come round to her if I wanted.

OP posts:
Mellowyellow222 · 11/07/2022 11:10

nothingshappeningatall · 11/07/2022 10:56

And of course on MN you’re going to get more people saying they prefer puppies 🙄

But I think that’s probably true.

new born are lovely to coo over for a short while and of course family will talk to the mother and check she is okay - need anything. Bring drinks and food over etc etc.

but a tiny puppy will draw more attention. People don’t need to be as careful - by eight weeks the puppy is playing a little. A puppy is more like a toddler.

on the plus side a new puppy will also sleep a lot so attention can go back to the new mother and baby.

but in a lot of settings puppy trumps baby. Sorry.

nothingshappeningatall · 11/07/2022 11:14

I find that absurd - surely a family would want to get to know the new human member of their family ??? Even if a newborn isn’t aware - the mother is - no wonder new mothers struggle if people are so dismissive of them and their babies preferring an animal . Absolutely ridiculous

bluekostree · 11/07/2022 11:27

Puppies are more of a novelty. It's also your second dc and people generally care less. I think you're being over sensitive.

berryfull · 11/07/2022 11:32

sympathy to you OP! Completely get it! Awful for you x

my sister did even worse. When I told her I was pregnant at 5 weeks, she immediately got pregnant herself.( Despite it being her third and her husband not wanting anymore children) . Then went on the monopolise all the attention she could from my parents and siblings throughout her dramatic “awful pregnancy” delivery, baby stage and subsequent marriage break up that I barely got a second glance. When I was giving birth and had a newborn my family were rallying round her in late pregnancy and looking after her kids. She has a way of creating drama and getting attention that is incredible to watch. Some people like her just hate not being the centre of attention and will do anything to they can to keep themselves as the main focus and drama. Even tricking their husband into a third child and destroying their marriage in the process.

The only positive is that our sons ( born literally 5 weeks apart) are good friends.

Tater05 · 11/07/2022 11:38

Surprised at how many people are being so harsh on here?! Maybe I shouldn't be, it is Mumsnet afterall...

I have a similar situation coming up, I'm planning on getting a puppy early next year after wanting a dog my whole life, so obviously a big deal for me. My best friend has just announced she's pregnant and will be due to give birth around the time I hopefully get the puppy, but already I'm making a mental note to not go too overboard on how excited I am about a puppy when she's just given birth, because in my head as much as I love dogs surely birthing a new human is more of a milestone?

So to me YANBU. I think hormones are probably making you feel a bit more sensitive to it but I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same way if my family were more interested in a new dog than your new baby. On the other hand, maybe they just wanted to let you sit quietly with your newborn and the puppy made a good distraction for you to not be the centre of attention? Sometimes you need to see it from both sides but I can absolutely see why you feel the way you do. Anyway congratulations!

mumto2teenagers · 11/07/2022 11:42

I think YABU, apart from the dog having the only shaded chair at the table. I would have asked if the puppy could be moved so that I could sit there.

Mariposista · 11/07/2022 11:48

mumto2teenagers · 11/07/2022 11:42

I think YABU, apart from the dog having the only shaded chair at the table. I would have asked if the puppy could be moved so that I could sit there.

This is literally all it would have taken. 'Come on you, off the best chair' with a big grin, rather than a petulant online sulk that you're not getting all the attention. I'm sure nobody would have minded moving the puppy - I turf our dog off the nice sofa all the time to make room for humans.

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 11/07/2022 12:08

YABU. Puppies are so much more interesting than babies. Especially other people's babies.

BotterMon · 11/07/2022 12:16

Oh this has given me a much needed laugh on a Monday morning. YABVU OP. Yes your baby is the most important thing in the world to you but newborns are incredibly boring to everyone else.
Puppies however....

bluebeck · 11/07/2022 12:37

I have to admit I would be far more interested in a puppy than a new baby Grin

You appear to be taking this all very personally, which as PP have said, is probably just your hormones kicking in. Congratulations on the new baby. try not to fall out with anyone!!

TootsAtOwls · 11/07/2022 12:43

You're getting a really hard time on here op. I would think the timing is a bit suspect too. Was your sister jealous of the attention your first baby got?

Chocoqueen · 11/07/2022 13:06

BotterMon · 11/07/2022 12:16

Oh this has given me a much needed laugh on a Monday morning. YABVU OP. Yes your baby is the most important thing in the world to you but newborns are incredibly boring to everyone else.
Puppies however....

Not true. I love newborns, as do most people I know. Puppies however...

MotherCrab · 11/07/2022 20:14

I'm going to go against the grain here OP. I get what you mean. I think it's very specific timing that she chose to get a puppy right after you've just had your baby.

It's a shame that you feel like you've been overshadowed by the dog. I'd try to brush over it and enjoy your squishy newborn. Your baby will bring you far far more joy than a puppy will to your sister.

MarshaMelrose · 11/07/2022 20:19

Aww, op. There's no competition between babies and puppies. Puppies win hands, down. They're cute, they do more, they're entertaining, they respond to you, they give affection. Well, they're just gorgeous. Babies on the other hand ...

Riverlee · 11/07/2022 20:25

I think you are getting a hard time also. You wanted to show off your new baby - a natural reaction. It does seem a bit of coincidence your sister got the puppy now.

isadoradancing123 · 11/07/2022 20:28

Makes a change, people on here are usually moaning that too many people are holding/fussing their baby and they are not a toy!

Huntswomanonthemove · 11/07/2022 20:30

Puppies are so much cuter than human babies. 🐶

Meraas · 11/07/2022 20:31

I just feel like my newborns limelight of beeing new to the family has been stolen by my sisters new puppy and it was selfish of her to get a new puppy the week I give birth.

In the gentlest possible way - your baby doesn’t care about being in the limelight with your family, it just wants to be in the limelight with you, in your arms.

Jumperoo56370000 · 11/07/2022 20:32

I'm wondering how many of the sneering posters were expected to move furniture in very hot weather less than a week after giving birth just in order to have a safe place to sit down when visiting family.

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 11/07/2022 20:41

I hear you, OP. Do you think your dsis is jealous of you having a baby? I used to be jealous of pg women and women with babies and I didn't even admit it to myself until I got pg myself. Then I realised. But yes, it does sound a bit shit that they showed more interest in the ddog. It was a big moment for you and you feel let down. But you have your gorgeous baby to cuddle - congratulations xx

HardTimesHarder · 11/07/2022 20:43

Congratulations!! I’m sure your second born is gorgeous.

I love puppies and would be all over a new pup like a rash. I also really like babies. I wonder if other people didn’t fuss over you too much so as not to put too much pressure on you? I wouldn’t ask to hold a family member’s baby so soon after giving birth. They’d have to wrestle their puppy back off me 😂

I can completely understand why you’re upset but I doubt it was intentional. They were likely just allowing you to be a bit more low key. As for the chair, I wouldn’t move my pup from the shaded chair. I would however give you another for the shade. Puppies, like babies, need a lot of sleep and if they’d settled down somewhere sensible I wouldn’t want to wake them. They can be very challenging and full on so the time whilst they’re asleep is precious.

Maybe let your family know how you feel about baby’s entrance to the family. They might be able to explain more and justify why they acted that way. Even if pup was the centre this time it won’t take away from your baby in the future. Once your little one is crawling/walking she’ll have a naughty (but gorgeous) teenage dog causing mayhem so your baby will get the positive attention there.

I’m assuming your family is usually reasonable?

mumda · 11/07/2022 20:58

Just think how lovely it is with people giving you some space so they're not constantly grabbing for the baby.

MarshaMelrose · 11/07/2022 20:59

I'm wondering how many of the sneering posters were expected to move furniture in very hot weather less than a week after giving birth just in order to have a safe place to sit down

They pulled a chair back from the table!

diddl · 11/07/2022 21:16

Was the point of the visit for people to see the baby?

It's often said on here that no one cares about your baby more than you-well of course-but your own prents & siblings?

Or aren't they interested in you even if there have been so many babies in the family that it's old hat?

Was the problem that you moved yourself away & it seemed that you dodn't want to be part of what was going on?

Idk-at 5days I was still in hospital!

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 11/07/2022 21:21

Jumperoo56370000 · 11/07/2022 20:32

I'm wondering how many of the sneering posters were expected to move furniture in very hot weather less than a week after giving birth just in order to have a safe place to sit down when visiting family.

Women who have given birth can pull a bloody chair out for themselves.