Sisters new puppy

[OhSwe3tBaby]

I gave birth on Wednesday after a very hard pregnancy. Then on Friday out of the blue my sister buys a new puppy. My sister still lives at home with my parents. This is my seccond child, I moved out of my parents a few years ago.

Yesterday I went round my mums for the afternoon, all my siblings were there with their children too, playing in the pool and we ordered some food, sat in the garden. I got there later than others and when I arrived my sisters new puppy is sat on the only shaded chair around the table, I had to move a chair away from the table to sit with my newborn in the shade. The whole time we were there the topic was about the new puppy and only a few family members had brief holds with my newborn but all seemed to fuss and hold the puppy for alot longer.

I just feel like my newborns limelight of beeing new to the family has been stolen by my sisters new puppy and it was selfish of her to get a new puppy the week I give birth. She had also previously offered to take a few days off after I gave birth and my partner had gone back to work to help me and when I mentioned it she said she's taking a few days off over the next few weeks to be at home with her new puppy and I can come round to her if I wanted.

You are going to get a crap time on here @OhSwe3tBaby. AIBU loves dogs more than people and loves to make new mums feel crap about themselves. Some of these answers are so harsh and don’t represent what they would feel if this happened to them.

Of course the timing feels deliberate. But don’t worry. Your baby is still going to be the grandchild/niece long after the family puppy obsession has faded. Don’t worry about this as a “missed opportunity” or something that is now broken. I’m sure your parents will want some baby cuddles before long.

But I do suggest you put you and baby first. If a couple of days after giving birth you are having to move furniture around to have a safe seat for a newborn at theirs then probably your parents will have to come to yours to see you.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby. Please don’t take this to heart or let it ruin anything.

Is this real?
I ask because I always seem to get sucked in no matter how ridiculous something sounds.
If it is, yes, YABU.

Seriously? You're jealous of a puppy? Newborns are cute and lovely to hold, but they aren't interactive like a puppy would be, which is probably why it got more attention. The puppy hasn't stolen anyones limelight.

Puppies are more fun than babies. Especially second babies. Don't have anymore kids because people get less and less interested as you go and you won't cope! I don't think my family noticed baby #4. You'll get a grip, it's just the hormones.

Congrats on a baby!

I think you are being silly here though. Don't be jealous of a puppy. As others have said, your sister is not being selfish - her life shouldn't be put on pause because of your newborn.

newborn's limelight?????

Enjoy your new baby but a puppy come on a puppy SQUEEZE everyone loves a puppy .

I have a newborn and think I'd be more excited about the puppy

The thing is, after the initial 'Awww (s)he is so cute', there's not really much you do with a newborn. They are asleep like 18+ hours a day in those first few days.

Honestly if I was in your position I'd have tried to palm my newborn off on my Mum so I could play with the puppy 😂

I would have been right in there playing with the puppy. Newborns are boring to be honest.

I got there later than others and when I arrived my sisters new puppy is sat on the only shaded chair around the table, I had to move a chair away from the table to sit with my newborn in the shade.

this is where you use your voice and say “I would like to sit here please; puppy can sit in a shaded spot away from the table”.

YABU for all the other reasons everyone else has said.

😂😂😂 those post birth hormones really make you irrational! I remember crying because I thought the dog didn’t love me anymore because I’d ruined her life with this tiny screaming human!

You're getting a really rough time here OP, mumsnet is a crazy world where no one cares about their family and friends big life events such as babies and weddings which is so unlike real life. And I expect most of those posting would be put out in your situation.

Obviously the puppy should have been moved so you can sit at the table, in the shade, with your newborn. Humans take precedent over dogs.

I think your sister was generous to offer to take time off to help but probably didn't think it through and it's such a big ask I don't think you can be too upset she's backed out (though I do wonder why she offered if she knew she was getting a puppy!).

Congratulations on your baby

Congratulations on your new baby!

I mean this kindly, but the fuss you get after having your first baby is generally different to subsequent children. I think this is what you are experiencing and the puppy is just amplifying that. People just assume you know what you're doing and let you get on with it.

It doesn't mean they love you or your baby any less.

OP, I would have sat with you in the shade with your precious new baby. I'd rather cuddle a baby than play with a puppy, and also acknowledge that as fun as a new pup is (especially for children) I would be aware that YOU need some care and love having just given birth.
I'm sorry you're getting such a hard time on here - people are almost sneering at you as if you are ridiculous to expect your family to celebrate the arrival of your baby. Take care of yourself xx

With kindness, yabu. Certainly on an objective level. But as a new mum who has just given birth I also totally understand. Be kind to yourself.

Sorry but YABU. The world doesn't stop because you've had a baby. Your sister is allowed to get a puppy. She really doesn't have to arrange her life around you. As for stealing your limelight. Please think about how that sounds. She is not the one being selfish here I'm afraid.

THIS. In spades!!

It's funny, if the OP was posting in a few years time saying how her family prefer DC1 and always ignore DC2 she'd be told to go no contact. It's almost as if those posting are just in it to kick a vulnerable person when she's down.

Congratulations again OP. I'd cuddle your baby over a puppy any day x

Mumsnet is full of posts from people who don’t want to let family so much as look at the baby for a fortnight and then get incredibly stressed by the notion of ‘passing the baby round like a doll’ for people to cuddle and throw hissy fits when someone kisses it. By contrast, you are annoyed that people didn’t hold your baby for as long as they played with a puppy. Families really cannot win, can they?

I like babies and I like puppies. But I wouldn’t really want to cuddle a baby for long on a boiling hot day, and a newborn is considerably less interactive than a puppy.

The notion that she was ‘selfish’ to get a puppy the same week you had a baby is just total nonsense. Why on earth would you expect her to plan stuff around you having a baby? She’s your sister, not your partner. You don’t have to schedule your plans around each other.

As someone who really really doesn’t like dogs I still think YABU. Your sisters choices to get a puppy shouldn’t be aligned to when you happen to give birth

The thing about the chair, this is when you need to be more assertive and move the dog so you can sit down rather than sit separate from the family

You went to your mum's and felt that you were suddenly on your own with your baby at a time you feel overwhelmed and could have done with some fussing over.
Having a second baby is hard work. I can see how you'd be annoyed if your sister said she'd be free to help but now has a puppy. But your mum can mind the puppy while your sister helps you. But you need to ask if you need help otherwise people won't realise. Best of luck with the baby. The first 6 weeks are absolutely crap anyway that's for sure but it will get better.

This has given me a bit of a giggle. Jealous of a puppy? Oh dear…

Completely agree with this, I think the sneering you're getting on here is really unkind. Congratulations on your baby 💐