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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to give up time to help kids catch up?

343 replies

PeachyM · 10/07/2022 14:08

So I’m a teacher. And we’re nearing the end of the school year- finally :) Two kids from the same family but in different years disappear off for a two week family holiday, which hasn’t been authorised. I’m not going to particularly question their parents’ decision because it’s up to them. But they’ve come back having missed two weeks of a core subject and the parents have now requested we give up time to help catch them up. I’ve said no because I already have a shit ton of end of year stuff to finish and I don’t have the time. Parents have accused me of being unreasonable and said that I’m refusing to do my job. Who’s in the wrong here?

OP posts:
ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 10/07/2022 15:15

you are DEFINITELY not unreasonable. Our Head has had more requests for term time holiday than ever but has made it absolutely clear that work, before or after the holiday, will not be set.

ProfessorFusspot · 10/07/2022 15:17

Spending any class time catching them up - beyond a quick "we're discussing chapter ten today" - unfairly disadvantages other students. Spending your break time disadvantages you. But isn't there some time that's set aside for teachers to be available to students - for example, if someone with good attendance is still struggling and wants to discuss catching up/finding a tutor/doing remedial work? Or if someone is very interested in a topic and wants suggestions for additional reading?

It seems like even one quick (ten-fifteen minute) orientation meeting, documented, could make expectations clear and put the pupil on the path to using their own resources (knowing what reading they've missed vs anything optional, skipped for later, etc if they can't clearly see this from the syllabus, borrowing a friend's notes, etc.) to catch up. I doubt even the Y10 student was fully able to tell the parents "no, I'm not going with you, I'll miss too much schoolwork", and the younger one certainly wasn't. (Plus if you're worried enough to be posting on MN on the weekend about it, you're already spending time on the problem.)

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 10/07/2022 15:18

Oh yes - that's another one I remember, a round robin being sent by the head of year demanding work for kids who were due to go on holiday - as if you hadn't enough to do. Once a couple of us forgot and we were told off in staff briefing. Unbelievable really. I would have resigned but I had a family to bring up.

Mamansparkles · 10/07/2022 15:18

Actually @FreyaStorm having taught in both they are even worse in fee paying... most are great but a significant minority expect teachers to be at their beck and call 24/7 all year round. I once had a parent take their child out of school and then complain that my colleague wouldn't offer them extra catch up lessons in the actual holidays (for free, obviously). We were paid less than our state sector counterparts for significantly longer hours (core time 8-6 plus weekend school) and only slightly longer holidays so that wasn't happening. I enjoyed writing that email as a line manager.

Back to the OP, no, they chose to go on holiday. I would send an email explaining what they had missed (independent school expectations stick!) but they wouldn't be getting catch up sessions. Any time I have spare (i.e. my own time that should be spent with my own children) will be going to help my SEN pupil who missed a lesson for a funeral, or my pupil who has just been in hospital for 2 weeks with covid, or the young carer who is late for school for reasons outside the family's control.

Mellowyellow222 · 10/07/2022 15:20

I am maybe showing my age, but in my day the kids would have asked their friends for notes from the classes - and the teacher would have given them the homework assignments they missed.

the parents are being completely unreasonable and this is an important life lesson for the kids. I assume they are teens.

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 10/07/2022 15:20

But isn't there some time that's set aside for teachers to be available to students - for example, if someone with good attendance is still struggling and wants to discuss catching up/finding a tutor/doing remedial work? Or if someone is very interested in a topic and wants suggestions for additional reading?

I don't remember anything like this being on the timetable - mine was completely full with actual classes. Does this happen in schools now?

BlueStarfish · 10/07/2022 15:21

I'm not sure going on holiday, whether in the UK or abroad, qualifies as a necessity. The parents chose to go away for 2 weeks instead of 3 or 4 days. It was their choice, how can anyone possibly think all teachers must give up their personal time to bring these kids up to date on their school work?
Again, there are a lot of entitled people going about. Nobody's entitled to go on holiday, the same way teachers don't have to teach a day outside their paid contract hours. A teacher should -not must- help children but not when they were put in that position by entitled parents. Breaking a leg or having surgery isn't the same as going on holiday. Besides, going on holiday doesn't mean you don't have access to a laptop. Those kids could have worked a little bit every day while away.

MmeMeursault · 10/07/2022 15:21

SLT said it was unauthorised, therefore kid should have been in school and therefore it's on the parents. Your SLT should therefore also back you in not providing work.
I'm a teacher too and wouldn't do it.

MadMadMadamMim · 10/07/2022 15:21

they’re complaining in class that Miss isn’t bothering to teach them so they’ll fail.

No, No! You're mistaken, Sarah. Miss IS teaching you in class. Look! Here I am - and here you are! What you meant to say is "Miss isn't prepared to teach me OUT of class on a 1:1 basis because my parents chose to take me on holiday when Miss was teaching all of the other students...

PortalooSunset · 10/07/2022 15:21

What's the hourly rate for private tutoring in your area? Tell them you'll do it for that. That and the fine from the LA should wipe out the saving of going on holiday in term time and teach them to stick to school holidays in future!

Is it only your subject they're demanding this of btw?

OooErr · 10/07/2022 15:22

Mellowyellow222 · 10/07/2022 15:20

I am maybe showing my age, but in my day the kids would have asked their friends for notes from the classes - and the teacher would have given them the homework assignments they missed.

the parents are being completely unreasonable and this is an important life lesson for the kids. I assume they are teens.

Same here - I'm surprised to nobody else mention it!
The teacher (or a tutor) isn't the sole source of info. Have some initiative!

Threetulips · 10/07/2022 15:24

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

Utter rubbish!!

Year 10’s have moved in to Year 11 work here, as they do every year to get a head start on the work.

Why should these teachers who work more hours than they should help catch up children who’ve just had two cheap weeks away? Parents choose to take them out of school in key years. That’s on them.

Teachers are already leaving in droves. And threatening strike action. You need to realize teachers do more for all their children than their own kids!

TolkiensFallow · 10/07/2022 15:25

No of course you aren’t! Perhaps they’ll pay a private tutor!

you don’t take kids out of school in the lead up to exams unless you are very confident that they can catch up by themselves!

ilovesooty · 10/07/2022 15:26

TheNewlmprovedMrsMadEvans · 10/07/2022 15:11

I hope they have been reported and fined OP

How would that make the OP's situation any better?

blisstwins · 10/07/2022 15:26

pastaandpesto · 10/07/2022 14:20

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

I would then expect it to be completely my responsibility to find appropriate resources (BBC Bitesize, books etc), work through them with DC, and do any marking.

Would that be reasonable?

It would not be two minutes. You have no idea what teaching is like.

HannahSternDefoe · 10/07/2022 15:27

Suggest they employ a private tutor.

No way should you give up your pitifully short breaks for them.

Gymnopedie · 10/07/2022 15:30

But isn't there some time that's set aside for teachers to be available to students - for example, if someone with good attendance is still struggling and wants to discuss catching up/finding a tutor/doing remedial work? Or if someone is very interested in a topic and wants suggestions for additional reading?

So that time should be spent working with the students who have been there all along but who need extra support or want to learn more about it. It shouldn't be taken away from them to catch up kids who've been on holiday.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 10/07/2022 15:30

Is there a subject clinic? One of my dc is frequently off due to medical issues. They have to catch up using notes from friends and go to e.g. maths clinic on a Wed lunchtime if they still don't understand. If you were feeling generous then you could point them towards the topic, relevant homework and suggest they come to lunchtime clinics (if you have them) in September.

SpaceshiptoMars · 10/07/2022 15:31

Completely and utterly unreasonable. However, there's probably a bullied and bright child in the corner who could sort them out and get the bullies off their back at the same time....

TheHumanExperience · 10/07/2022 15:34

Now imagine a class of 30 in a school of 1000 pupils. You teach multiple classes across all year groups and many parents choose to do this. Knowing how little time teachers have already and how much work they have to do at home.... Would you as a teacher be happy to have to do this for every pupil, whenever the parent decided on an unauthorized break? This could add up to an incredible amount of extra work, to work out what they missed. After all, if she does it for this family, she should do it for every family, every time., for EVERY subject!

Would you?

We didn't even get bullet points when our children were off sick, and that couldn't be helped. We had to find out from friends what their children covered and do the best we could to catch up.

All decisions have consequences.

Fivefor · 10/07/2022 15:36

pastaandpesto · 10/07/2022 14:20

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

I would then expect it to be completely my responsibility to find appropriate resources (BBC Bitesize, books etc), work through them with DC, and do any marking.

Would that be reasonable?

Jesus. I'd expect your kids will have the same unreasonable sense of entitlement.

You, as the parent, have made a decision to harm your child's education for selfish, financial reasons. Own it, instead of asking a third party to give up their time to facilitate your selfishness.

No wonder the country has gone to shit with attitudes like this

Fraaahnces · 10/07/2022 15:36

Find out what tutors in your area charge… let them know that you are absolutely willing to assist in your own time, and quote them 3x the hourly rate as a tutor. (You ARE a professional, after all…) If they wish you to eat into your breaks, then let them know about that your rates increase by 1.5x to 2.5x depending on your overtime loading. They’ll leave you alone.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 10/07/2022 15:38

Is he due to be going on any end of term trips?

I might have suggested I'd be available from 7.30am - 5.30pm on the day of the Y10 trip to Thorpe Park/whatever - just to be really helpful...

cansu · 10/07/2022 15:39

Copies of the other kids' notes, a copy of your lesson slides for the weeks they missed and a list of anything they absolutely need to do.
That's it.
I wouldn't get into the whys and wherefores. Simply say politely that unfortunately you do not have any free time to do extra tutoring but here are some resources that the parents might like to look at with their child.
They are really taking the piss.

hollyivysaurus · 10/07/2022 15:40

YANBU! I'm always happy to drop a quick email and mention the topics covered and a BBC Bitesize link, but I wouldn't be doing more than that. It would be different if the absence was for another reason (close bereavement or hospital stay for example) and in those situations I've done extra for them, but IMO if a child's taken out for a holiday, that's lovely for them, but it's not my responsibility to re-teach them all the work they've missed.

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