Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to give up time to help kids catch up?

343 replies

PeachyM · 10/07/2022 14:08

So I’m a teacher. And we’re nearing the end of the school year- finally :) Two kids from the same family but in different years disappear off for a two week family holiday, which hasn’t been authorised. I’m not going to particularly question their parents’ decision because it’s up to them. But they’ve come back having missed two weeks of a core subject and the parents have now requested we give up time to help catch them up. I’ve said no because I already have a shit ton of end of year stuff to finish and I don’t have the time. Parents have accused me of being unreasonable and said that I’m refusing to do my job. Who’s in the wrong here?

OP posts:
butterflied · 10/07/2022 14:27

pastaandpesto · 10/07/2022 14:20

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

I would then expect it to be completely my responsibility to find appropriate resources (BBC Bitesize, books etc), work through them with DC, and do any marking.

Would that be reasonable?

Imo, yes it would. If children are taken on holiday in term time they miss out. Parents know that, they choose to do it anyway.

Ponderingwindow · 10/07/2022 14:27

A teacher should make the missed work available the same as you would if an absence were authorized or a student was out sick. At that point the students can study independently, the parents can tutor, or the parents can hire a tutor if they are incapable or unwilling.

clary · 10/07/2022 14:28

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

Thing is, this would take longer than two minutes. Two dc, two different years, core subject so maybe 10 lessons missed (I am assuming secondary). Going through lesson plans for 20 lessons and picking out what was covered, writing an email and sending it, even bullet points, would have taken me more than two minutes. Seriously more than an hour. And why should the Op give up an hour if their very previous time?

RightOnTheEdge · 10/07/2022 14:28

Of course YANBU. The CFs. I don't know how they dare.

coodawoodashooda · 10/07/2022 14:28

How old are the kids? Personally I would either give them more work than they could wave a stick at or point them in the direction of some apps. Is it in one subject area only?

butterflied · 10/07/2022 14:28

Sorry, I mean it would be unreasonable. The only time I would do that is because of absence because of long term illness.

tiredanddangerous · 10/07/2022 14:32

Yanbu. Say no! SLT at my school would absolutely back teachers in saying no.

ShandaLear · 10/07/2022 14:32

pastaandpesto · 10/07/2022 14:20

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

I would then expect it to be completely my responsibility to find appropriate resources (BBC Bitesize, books etc), work through them with DC, and do any marking.

Would that be reasonable?

So you’d still be expecting special treatment then? Why should the teacher have to take time to send you special message? And would they have to send a special message to all the parents who let their kids miss school for two weeks at different times of the year? And would they have to take out extra time to mark that work? And what if you couldn’t find the right books or YouTube videos? Would they then have to send you links? Because that’s what happens.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 10/07/2022 14:32

EL8888 · 10/07/2022 14:21

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair they went in term time l am assuming as it’s cheaper so there’s some money right there. Rather than trying to eat into OP previous end of year time which she said is already very busy

Not really @EL8888 if my holiday budget is £2000 or whatever and that only allows me to have a term time holiday where does the extra come from?

Sure if I have £3000 and chose to go in term time and only spend £2000 I have some left but that cant be an automatic assumption. Isn't the first situation much more likely?

The OP could of course suggest a tutor but you can't assume the parents can afford one.

clary · 10/07/2022 14:33

precious time obvs. I wonder why some people clearly think pulling together work for an absent student is simple. It’s actually hard work. I once had a student who was off for treatment for illness but would be able to work; the parents asked for the work we would cover (in advance) and knowing full well that the student would complete it (they did) I prepped worksheets and ppts for them, of course. But it took me hours. I was happy in that case as others say, but here? No way

Original poster
PeachyM · 10/07/2022 14:34

That’s part of the issue here. One’s in KS3 so could probably pretty easily catch up but the other’s in Yr 10 and has missed some really important lessons. Obviously they’re more concerned about the Yr 10 child so they’ve come up with the generous suggestion that I give him quick catch up sessions during my break times. Because that break is completely for the kids and not at all for us to have a coffee and something to eat!

OP posts:
Original poster
PeachyM · 10/07/2022 14:36

I’d also venture to say that if you know that you can’t necessarily afford to have tutors help the children to catch up then you maybe should stick to slightly cheaper staycations during holiday time, at the very least until GCSEs are done? The older one will be finished this time next year.

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 10/07/2022 14:36

Their choice to take them out of school and even more stupid for a year 10 pupil. It's their problem to find a resolution for and not dump it on you.

HollowTalk · 10/07/2022 14:37

But why don't the children borrow their friends' books and copy it all up?

Whatsthisallaboutconfused · 10/07/2022 14:38

PeachyM · 10/07/2022 14:34

That’s part of the issue here. One’s in KS3 so could probably pretty easily catch up but the other’s in Yr 10 and has missed some really important lessons. Obviously they’re more concerned about the Yr 10 child so they’ve come up with the generous suggestion that I give him quick catch up sessions during my break times. Because that break is completely for the kids and not at all for us to have a coffee and something to eat!

Absolutely no way. If you’re willing to then make a note of what was missed and they can get a tutor. Can’t afford it then they’ll have to do a bit of research

TicTac80 · 10/07/2022 14:39

Could the family not ask the other parents in their children’s classes about what was covered? My DS is 15, so he asks friends about any homework set/subjects missed when he’s been off sick (the only other times I’ve taken my kids out of school were for my when my folks were in their final days at hospital and for their funerals). I’m on a parent WhatsApp group for my DD (in primary school), so I’d put a message on the group.

Mumofsend · 10/07/2022 14:39

The parents need to help them.

Mine are primary age and their homework sheet on a Wednesday gives the gist of what they've been doing. When I take mine out for a week I will use that to guide some home learning.

Secondary age they can ask class friends (in their own time) for what they've done and catch up that way.

Fine if you want to take a child out, not fine to expect school to catch them up.

butterflied · 10/07/2022 14:40

It's almost like actions have consequences.

Kennykenkencat · 10/07/2022 14:41

You are doing your job

Theres was to get their children into the classroom each day.

Original poster
PeachyM · 10/07/2022 14:42

That’s normally my suggestion- ask other people for their notes and look on Google classroom, but for the Yr 10 stuff it was pretty difficult! And it was over several hours’ worth of lesson time.
Of course if it had been the case that there was a funeral or a serious mitigating circumstance then I would certainly have done everything I could to catch them up. But the parents’ entitlement has really infected the kids and they’re complaining in class that Miss isn’t bothering to teach them so they’ll fail. The absolute cheeky fuckery of it all.

OP posts:
Suddha · 10/07/2022 14:43

If the kids had been sick I’d put myself out to help them catch up. But not when they’ve been on holiday.

itsgettingweird · 10/07/2022 14:44

Clearly the parents are.

I'm surprise your response was anything more than .......

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LadyPenelope68 · 10/07/2022 14:44

@pastaandpesto
No, that wouldn’t be reasonable. You’ve chosen to take your child in holiday during term time. Why should the teacher bother wasting her time emailing you key points of what was covered?

Rainbowbaby13 · 10/07/2022 14:44

Obviously the parents if they were that bothered about their kids not falling behind they shouldn't have gone on a 2 week holiday in term time. Why should you give up your time when the parents clearly don't care anyway

Gymnopedie · 10/07/2022 14:46

Blueemeraldagain · 10/07/2022 14:25

As a teacher, if the student asked politely before leaving (particularly if they are in KS4) I would probably print out a pack of resources/worksheets but wouldn’t spend anymore than 45 mins (one lesson at my school) doing so. I appreciate how expensive it can be to go on holiday during the school holidays and ultimately it isn’t the student’s choice. Any sense of entitlement etc and I would refuse. As for giving up free time? 😂

That's your choice. But you're talking about 'the' student. What if it was (and it happens) six children all on holiday at different times?